Dressing Biography

Chapter 103 Demons

All day long, I held Sisi in my arms, even if my arms were sore, my stomach was hungry, and my eyes were tired, I never thought about letting her go.Even when I eat, I always put my arm around her and eat with the other. Seeing her amused by me makes me happier than anything else.Her smile lights up my life and makes my life wonderful.Ever since Sisi was born, I felt that I had finally come back to life in the border town.It can be said that Sisi has become the whole of my life, even my aunt is complaining that since I have Sisi, even she has forgotten.

"Stop hugging, let her play for a while." My aunt put the food on the table, seeing that I didn't want to let go of Sisi, and complained a little, "It will be difficult to take her with you in the future." At this time Sisi has already lived for a hundred days, and when I teased her, she smiled happily, so naturally she didn't take what my aunt said to heart.My aunt shook her head helplessly: "Li Le is leaving the city tomorrow morning, why don't you go and see?"

After being reminded by my aunt, I remembered that there is Li Le.Looking at Sisi's bright eyes, I felt a little helpless.Originally, Li Le was also very happy about the birth of Sisi.But seeing that I love Sisi so much, I almost forgot everyone.Even if it was a letter from home, I lost the enthusiasm of the past.Li Le's frown that had stopped, began to wrinkle again.There was a strong crack in our married life because of Sisi's appearance.I hugged Sisi, although my heart was full of guilt towards Li Le, but I couldn't open my mouth. After all, my selfishness was too obvious: "Sisi, mother is going to eat, you should lie down by yourself first." Putting her on the bed, she who was used to being hugged by me burst into tears immediately, and my heart felt as if it had been sharpened by a saw, so I immediately picked her up and coaxed her: "Mother is here, mother is here, Sisi is good. "

My aunt looked at me with only Sisi in my eyes and heart, shook her head helplessly, turned around and left, but left a message for me: "Go and say goodbye to him in a while. This year's Chinese New Year, he probably won't be able to come back."

I didn't look at the back of my aunt leaving, but when I heard Sisi's "hehe" laughter, I felt mixed feelings.I have to say that I dote on Sisi too much, but I can't restrain my love for her, I wish I could keep her by my side every second.Whenever I hear her cry, I can drop everything in my hand, no matter who is holding her in the palm of my hand, I will immediately hug her over and hold her in my hand, and I can coax her all night and all night, just to let her She no longer cries.My aunt and Aunt Zhang were amazed by this kind of behavior, thinking that I was taking too much care of Sisi, which was not good for Sisi's growth.I understand, but I just can't let go of it in my heart, and I refuse to let go for a moment.When she wasn't in front of me, I felt like a beast was roaring inside of me, and it made me tense and I felt like I was going crazy.The harmonious relationship between Li Le and I has finally fallen into a stalemate because of Sisi's arrival.Li Le knew that I had never forgotten and refused to forget, so he poured all his emotions into Sisi.So after seeing this fact clearly, Li Le simply quit my room, ignored Sisi's existence, and refocused on the battlefield.I hugged Sisi who was falling asleep, and my mind was full of the roaring figure of Li Le that day: "Do you still have me in your eyes!" I didn't respond, I didn't want to lie, but I couldn't admit it.I struggled to survive in the cracks that Sisi gave me.

I didn't go to see Li Le, but Li Le stepped into my room, seeing that I was still holding Sisi in my arms like a treasure, with uncontrollable anger in his eyes.Seeing that he came in a bad manner, I naturally turned my body away, as if I was eager to protect my daughter.Li Le smiled sarcastically: "It's always my daughter, a tiger's poison doesn't eat its offspring." From Li Le's tone, I didn't think he would treat Sisi kindly, and I still didn't let down my vigilance.Li Le sat opposite me calmly, looked at Sisi who was sleeping soundly: "The eyebrows and eyes are really like you." Because of my protection, Li Le never hugged Sisi, "The nose is like mine."

Li Le didn't get right to the point, which made me a little annoyed: "You're going out of town soon, so be careful." I said to him politely.Before Li Le killed several enemy generals and was seriously injured, the emperor specially granted him a fourth rank.In exchange for his promotion, everyone specially set up a few tables for him.But I was pregnant, so he didn't drink much.He took the initiative to invite Ying today, and it seemed that he was putting life and death aside again.Although she was ruthless with him, she sincerely did not want anything to happen to him.

Li Le looked at me, and then smiled softly: "I will never forget that you are waiting for me at home." After speaking, Li Le got up and left.

I looked at his leaving back in surprise: "Is there anything else?" Li Le paused for a while, shook his head, and left.Sisi in my arms suddenly twisted and cried, so I put my focus on Sisi again: "Don't cry, don't cry, mother is here." Inadvertently, Liang Shiqin appeared in my mind like me Like coaxing Mu Qin, he couldn't help smiling.

In December, it was snowing heavily outside the window. I hugged Sisi exhaustedly and fell asleep on the bed after a while.There are ups and downs in the dream. For a while, it is the Liangfu where the willows and spring breeze blow, and for a while, it is the border town where the north wind is blowing; , for a while, the iron horses are fighting and the loess is flying. . .I fell asleep in a nightmare, feeling so heavy that I sank into the mud, buried in the wet mud, lost my breath, and lost my heartbeat.As soon as I choked, suddenly, I sat up in shock, a little dazed, and after a second of delay, I suddenly realized that Sisi was gone.I turned over and got out of bed, shouting loudly: "Sisi, Sisi." But the door couldn't be opened, I slammed on the door vigorously, but unfortunately no one came to open the door, I called my aunt instead, but she didn't didn't show up.I remember opening the window, only to find that the window was also boarded up.There was a bang in my head, and I immediately shouted loudly: "Li Le, you bastard, let me out! Sisi! Sisi! Give me back Sisi!"

"Changing clothes." I saw my aunt's shadow by the window, and felt that I had found a savior, but unfortunately, my aunt's words were cold, "Yesterday, Li Le took Sisi out of the city and returned to Yanjing."

I blinked my eyes, shook my head violently, and whimpered: "Impossible, impossible." Before I could finish speaking, tears fell down.I rushed to my aunt's shadow and begged her: "Auntie, let me out, I won't make trouble, I will be obedient. I don't hold Sisi anymore, I don't miss her anymore. Let me out."

My aunt said sadly: "Wait, after the New Year, I will let you out."

As soon as I heard my aunt's words, the beast that was dormant in my body woke up immediately. I patted the window and refused to admit defeat: "Auntie, auntie, it will be Chinese New Year in a few days, so please let me out. Since Li Le has left, even if I can’t catch up with him even if I come out. Don’t worry.” My fingers grabbed the window, wishing I could break it and rush out, wishing I could kill that guy Li Le as fast as he could, and actually drugged me and stole me. Sisi.I was so angry that I had to resist the idea of ​​killing people at this moment, and the first step was to get out of this door.I observed my aunt's blurred shadow, hoping she would let me out: "Auntie, I know that I dote on Sisi too much. I won't do it in the future. Since Sisi will be in Beijing, I also think Sisi is a girl. It’s better to stay in the border town and go back to Yanjing.” Seeing my aunt’s wandering figure, I continued to argue, “Actually, I’m planning to discuss with Li Le after he comes back from going out this time, and send her off when Sisi grows older. go back."

"Really?" Auntie's voice trembled.

I immediately swore: "Really, really. Auntie, you still don't believe me? I'm the dresser you brought up."

I watched my aunt's shadow slowly move towards the door, my eyes stared straight at the door, and I heard the sound of the metal colliding with the key unlocked in my ears, I wished I could rush out of the door immediately.Seeing that the light finally came out from the crack of the door, I opened the door and ran towards the door regardless of my aunt falling because of my reckless move.Seeing that he was about to reach the gate, Zhang Er ran over from one side and stood at the gate.I broke open and started roaring: "Get out of the way!" Seeing that Zhang Er was indifferent, I started to push him, but unfortunately he seemed to be filled with lead, as stable as Mount Tai.

This is my aunt and Mrs. Zhang rushing over to hold me back. I kept struggling with both hands. During the massage, I threw my weak aunt to the ground. I didn't pay much attention, and kept fighting with Zhang Auntie competes.Suddenly the back of my neck was hit hard, and I fell down. When the world was spinning, I didn't forget to call out: "Sisi."

When I woke up, my aunt had already tied me to the bed with a cloth. I looked at the aunt next to the bed with eyes full of anger, and questioned her loudly: "Why do you take Sisi away!" My tears followed.

My aunt looked at me like I was going crazy, and started crying too: "You are so bewildered, why don't you send me away." My aunt's words were right, I was already bewitched.The aunt wiped her eyes and said angrily, "Do you think you can get your wish by finding a substitute? I told you that it is impossible for the two of you, and you still have to wishful thinking, Sisi, Sisi, you are ashamed to scream. If not Li Le is open-minded, you think you can lie here safe and sound." I closed my eyes and let the merciless tears flow freely.I am crazy about yearning, crazy.After finally getting Sisi, it was natural to put all my thoughts on her.If Li Le doesn't make such a bad move, I don't know if I can treat Sisi normally and be a good mother.I felt that my heart, which was so hard to fill, suddenly became empty again, and the cold wind poured in, cooling the whole body.

This New Year, I live like a walking dead.My aunt was afraid that I might suffer from hysteria again, so she hurried to the doctor.The doctor only said that the stagnation was too heavy, and he prescribed several medicines to regulate his mood.But I couldn't grow up my energy for a long time, and I was always sluggish.Years later, Li Le hurried back from Yanjing, but I regarded him as a stranger and ignored him.In the fifth year after I left Liang Shiqin, I felt that my heart was empty, my mind was empty, and my body was also empty.

The author has something to say:

touch