so be it

Chapter 104 Step 99

After finally sending away the cousin who came to "play the autumn wind", Wang Yinyan's life was considered quiet.

In the past, such a single life was always leisurely and comfortable, but now this house where she has lived for a long time made her suddenly feel cold.She couldn't help thinking of something, and then her heart was in a mess, and she began to walk around the room uncontrollably, like a restless animal, so she had to do housework, wash here, Wipe there and try not to let yourself be idle.

I thought that after dealing with this relationship quickly, I would calm myself down, but I didn't expect to fall into another kind of anxiety.

Wang Yanyan doesn't know if she will regret the decision she made now in the future, but now, she insists on doing so.Both Zhang Dongyan and Liang Feng scolded her for being brainless, and Dr. Deng didn't care about the conditions, but you kept entanglement and entanglement, looking for trouble.Zhang Dongyan scolded her even more, "You deserve to be a father-in-law for the rest of your life!"

Facing the consolation and puzzlement of his friends, Wang Yanyan did not let go.She has never told anyone about the worry that has been buried in her heart.

Mother's health is not good, she can't imagine how her mother will react if she knows that she only likes girls.Wang Yanyan did not dare to gamble with his mother's health.

So long ago, she made a decision.That is to no longer fall in love, no longer look for a partner.

She can't live with men casually, and she doesn't want to go too far on the road of this hopeless relationship.Then take one of them, balance each other, and stay single all the time.

But something went wrong, the door of the house and the door of the heart were not closed, allowing Dr. Deng to sneak in, nourishing her, softening her, making her gradually forget the previous persistence.

During her occasional waking hours, whenever she saw Yan Yan's happy face in the book with a smile, she was both greedy and reluctant.The incident Jiang Jianze provoked was just an excuse, an excuse Wang Yinyan made for himself.

What kind of material gap, how can I care so much, it's just fear.

She can't confess her feelings, she can only live in a secretive way, and she has never been recognized by her family. It is impossible for her to give Shuzhi an upright identity in front of her family, which is unfair to him.

In a relationship, once there is some kind of unfairness, can it go far?

If it can't be long-term, why start and develop?

Perhaps, the deep affection at the beginning of the relationship may cover up this contradiction. If things go on like this, won't Shuzi feel unbalanced in his heart?

What about after that?

Quarreling, anger, cold war, killing time, and then... breaking up?

Better not.

"So, let me cut off this relationship with my own hands, and free myself from contradictions and entanglements."

"So, let me be this cruel and heartless person."

"So, that's it."

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Shuzu devoted himself wholeheartedly to his work, trying to wash away his sad thoughts.She packed the surgery schedule to the brim, even Xie Yunqiu, who had been her assistant all along, couldn't bear it.Privately advised her not to work so hard, but she didn't want to be idle.

No matter how busy you are, there will be time for rest.During this interval, she still couldn't help but think of the big tree.

From the first time I met her with a pine cone on her back, to the second time I saw her in the hospital, I was afraid of myself, and then I became more and more familiar with her because of the pine cone, and then I gradually fell in love with her...

All of these scenes showed that she would never forget or let go.

During this period of time, Shubi lost a lot of weight, not only because of the pressure of work, she also couldn't sleep at night.She had thought about completely forgetting Dashu, but she still couldn't help thinking about her.And every time I think about it, I feel bitter and want to cry.

She repeatedly asked herself, is this really the case?No more contact, no intersection? !

If it's because of the disagreement of the three views and conflicting personalities, it's fine if the two can't get along, but those soft memories clearly prove the compatibility between the two.

——So, why do you say you have to break up? !

Shu Zui was not reconciled.

Quantitative accumulation always leads to qualitative change.

Under the torment of resentment, melancholy, longing and unwillingness, Shu Bi finally broke out.

So, when Wang Yanyan came back from working overtime at night, he saw Dr. Deng sitting in the living room as soon as he entered the door.She was also quite frightened.

That's right, she hasn't taken the initiative to ask for the key here, and she hasn't returned the book.I thought it would be nothing like this, but today...

The last time she came here by Xin, she thought she would cut off Dr. Deng's thoughts, but she didn't, and she came again a few days later.Wang Yanyan didn't know what it was like.

It's bitterness, guilt, or both.

"You...why are you here?" Wang Yanyan pretended to be calm, and greeted him while changing his shoes.

Shu Bi didn't answer her, but instead asked: "That little girl left that day?"

Wang Yanyan was startled, turned his face away unnaturally, and replied vaguely: "Yes."

After that day, Shuzi thought about it again and again, but still felt that it was impossible for Dashu to have anything to do with that girl. With her slow temper, how could it be possible for someone to enter the room in just a few days?

After asking now, Dashu's performance further verified Shuzhi's guess, "So, she is not your friend you just met at all, is she?" Shuzhi looked directly at Wang Yinyan and said with absolute certainty.

Wang Yanyan sat down on the other side of the sofa with his head bowed, without saying a word.

She didn't admit it, but she didn't continue that tacit lie.Because she didn't have the courage to lie to Dr. Deng again.She didn't dare to look into the book's eyes, so she could only stare at her slippers.

"Do you think, you said that I'm still stalking after the breakup, is it too thick-skinned? It's boring?" Shu Bi showed a wry smile. "I don't want that either."

As he said that, Shu Jie took out two bottles of white wine from the living room table, took two glasses casually, opened the bottles, and filled them up one by one.

At this time, Wang Yanyan was too scared to speak!

56-degree Niulan Mountain!Where did it come from? !

Doctor Deng, what are you doing!

Before she went up to stop it, Shu Bi had already pushed one of the cups to her. "You can have a drink with me."

"I...can't drink..." Wang Yanyan fainted from the soaring smell of wine just in the cup.

"why?"

"I don't like drinking."

"Can't you have a drink with me?"

"...drinking is even worse when you are in a bad mood...it hurts your body, and your stomach is not good..." Wang Yanyan tried to stop Dr. Deng from seeming to drink too much.

"You also know that I will be in a bad mood?" Shu Zi interrupted her chatter and asked coldly.

Wang Yinyan buried his head down again, and Shuyu's heart felt cold, "Do you want to drink?!"

"Let me go cook something for you, eat first and then... talk." Wang Yanyan got up and was about to go to the kitchen, but was grabbed by Shu Bi and fell down on the sofa.

The strength of the book was so great that Wang Yanyan felt that the bones of his forearm were throbbing with pain.

"I don't want to eat! I just want to drink! I want you to drink with me!" Shuzhi almost roared and got angry at Wang Yanyan.

Wang Yanyan had never seen her like this before, so he was extremely angry.

"If you want to drink, you can drink it. If you are drunk, I will always take care of you." Wang Yanyan compromised.

And this retreat made the book even more furious: "Wang Yanyan! Can you stop being so rational all the time!"

Unable to vent the anger in Shuzi's heart, he picked up the wine glass on the table and raised his head, half of the white wine went down.

The spicy taste instantly made her eyes full of tears.

She stubbornly wiped the corners of her eyes, and filled her glass again.

Wang Yanyan frowned while watching.

"Do you still like me?"

"..." Wang Yanyan remained silent.What can she answer?Nothing.Admitting and denying both seem wrong.

"You don't know, I liked you a long time ago, and I didn't want to tell you before, because I don't want you to think that I am with you, it is a kind of 'made up relationship', I am afraid you will worry about its insecurity , Impure." There was a sense of loss in Shubi's tone.

"I just wanted to let nature take its course. After getting along for a long time, the thoughtfulness and intimacy all made me secretly look forward to it, so I approached you proactively and entangled you, hoping that I could get myself naturally The long-awaited result."

"Just as if I hadn't spent a few days in this self-righteous ecstasy, heh." Shuzi laughed at himself, "You just pushed me out of here."

"I don't have any weight in your heart! No! I don't believe it! You just don't want to admit it! You like me too! Why do you insist on embarrassing yourself and torturing me?" Shuzi bit his lips, and the bitter feeling in his heart forced him again. Tears welled up, she picked up the cup angrily, and gulped down most of it.This passage took a lot of effort, and she looked at the tree a little tiredly, her eyes were no longer clear.

Wang Yanyan was still silent.

"I know you're running away again!" Shuyu's cheeks flushed red. "But I don't know what you're worried about. Can you tell me what you're worried about?"

"I'm just afraid..." Until then, Wang Yanyan could barely utter a word.

Shuzi's eyes became clear all of a sudden, as if he was not drunk, "You love me, and I love you too, why should you be afraid?"

"..." Wang Yanyan shook his head, looking at the back of the book with distressed eyes.

This person has paid too much for herself and the relationship between the two of them. She has been moving forward firmly, and she...

"You always think about this and that, taking care of this and that." Shuyu grabbed Dashu's hand, "But why don't you think about me, I like you so much, and want to be with you so much."

"I know." Wang Yanyan sighed silently in his heart. "But... even now... in the future, I still won't..."

"How do you know!" Shu Zui was very angry! "How can you judge our future outcome by yourself?! You just don't believe me!" She reached out to drink the last wine in the glass and was about to fill it up again.

Wang Yanyan quickly snatched it away.Shu Zui's drinking capacity is not large, and the previous drinking has already exceeded the limit.

Of course the book refused, and wobbled to snatch it, but staggered and threw itself on Wang Yanyan, hugged her, wrapped her waist, leaned his head on the thin shoulder, and murmured, as if talking to himself : "Dashu, don't do this, think about it, trust me, think about it carefully, you have to, trust me, Dashu, and then, trust me..."

The words of the book, which was already full of alcohol, seemed to be a bit confused, but it was what she really said in her heart at the moment.

Wang Yanyan hugged her, also full of misery.She stared at Dr. Deng drunk, but she was still thinking about making herself believe her, so her tears fell down.

She hugged the book tightly, suppressed her emotions, and gently coaxed the person in her arms: "Okay, I believe you... I believe you, let's go to bed first, shall we?"

Shu Zui shook his head indiscriminately, mumbled stubbornly, "You have to trust me! You promise me... you have to trust me."

Wang Yanyan hugged her, let her lie on his body as comfortably as possible, patted her back lightly with one hand, and slowly comforted her: "Okay..."

The two of them lay on the sofa overlapping each other for a long time, and the scholar fell asleep in a daze, but Wang Yanyan was looking at the dark window outside, not knowing what he was thinking.

Until there was an ear-piercing roar of a motorcycle outside, which was particularly abrupt in the silent night, and it also awakened Wang Yanyan's meditation.

She looked at her watch, it was past 12 o'clock.Then he gently pushed the book cover away, and helped her to the bedroom with great effort, and put her on the bed. After thinking about it, he decided to take off the book cover so that she could sleep more comfortably.

But after such a toss, Shu Bi woke up, and after taking a nap for a while, the alcohol dissipated a lot.

Seeing her wake up, Wang Yanyan said, "I'll wipe your face with a towel, it's too late, can you just sleep like this tonight?"

But Shuzi looked up at her and asked, "Are you going to break up with me?"

Her expression...was the expressionless one, which made Wang Yanyan feel guilty for no reason, "Go to sleep first..." and got up to get a towel.

Unexpectedly, she was trapped and pressed backwards, and fell on the bed. Before she could react, Dr. Deng immediately pressed up and held her tightly, unable to move.

Wang Yanyan raised his head and looked at the sullen face of the person above him, and asked repeatedly word by word: "Do you still want to break up with me?"

"You... you go down first..." Shu Bi's expression made her a little flustered.

"I don't! I want your answer!" Dr. Deng changed from her usual gentleness, and she showed a domineering side when she was not completely sober.

"I...well,...you are pressing me, I can't breathe...breath...brain...lack of oxygen...can't...can't think..." Wang Yanyan frowned and looked at Dr. Deng vaguely beg for mercy.

——If you can’t think, you can still speak in such an orderly manner?

"No! Just say it like this! Just answer in this hypoxic state! In this way, you will be less rational!" At this time, the book is a bit difficult to fool.

"Shall we take it easy in the future? You go down first."

"I won't! I won't! If you don't agree to me, then... I'll bite you!" Doctor Deng's eyes no longer showed the tenderness when drinking, but were replaced by prominent hostility.

Wang Yanyan gritted his teeth and remained silent.

This aroused Shu Bi's anger even more. "You think I won't bite you?!"

As he said that, Wang Yanyan felt a burst of alcohol smell on his face, and then his neck felt cold, "Uh..."

Her pupils dilated suddenly, excruciating pain.

Shu Zui looked at the distorted expression of the person below him with satisfaction due to the pain and shock, and said arrogantly: "I don't agree to break up! It's useless if you say it!"

The bite mark on her neck made Wang Yanyan gasp three times but couldn't suppress the pain. She also got a little angry, turned her head away angrily, and threw down two words: "Up to you!"

Wang Yanyan's indifferent attitude made Shuxuan even more angry, her eyes darkened, she grabbed Wang Yanyan's wrist suddenly, grabbed her chin, and kissed her lips fiercely.

That kind of kiss, like biting, was not gentle at all.Occupy, □□, plunder...

Wang Yanyan couldn't get away.Just when she felt that she was about to suffocate, Shuhe began to tear at Dashu's shirt. At the same time, her kiss fell on Dashu's neck carelessly and eagerly. at the chest.

Wang Yanyan opened his mouth and breathed heavily, not because he was moved, but because he was forced by Doctor Deng to make him uncomfortable.

And Shuxuan has already started to untie Wang Yanyan's belt...

"What do you think, if you do this... what will I do to you in the future?" Wang Yanyan's cold voice came from above, Shu Bi was taken aback, stopped his movements, and looked up at her.

Wang Yanyan closed her eyes and was silent, but Shuzhi felt a chill emanating from her body, awakening the remaining alcohol.

She stopped for a while, but Wang Yinyan remained motionless and silent.

Shu Zi's heart was completely cold.She slowly got off Wang Yinyan's body and sat aside.

Looking at Wang Yanyan's face, Shuyu couldn't control his trembling voice, and asked, "Really...is it really impossible? You know, I..."

Wang Yanyan stretched out his hands and pulled the quilt up to cover his disheveled clothes, and then turned to the outside: "Go to sleep...it's late." His tone was flat, and no emotion could be heard.It doesn't look like the reaction you should have after being almost...forced....

Shuyu sat by the side for a long time, the air around her was so cold that she shivered, she lifted a corner of the quilt, and slowly lay down, leaned carefully to Wang Yanyan's side, and hugged her gently. "I'm sorry... I'm... sorry..."

Feeling her gradually tightening arms, Wang Yanyan raised his hand to hold her wrist, "...wait for me... think again..." There was no anger, no blame, but some guilt.

Shuzhi buried his face on Wang Yanyan's back, and responded with a muffled sound.

Feeling the warm touch of her palm attached to the back of her hand, Shu Bi's desperate heart slowly warmed up.

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At work the next day, Lu Qi casually cast her eyes on Wang Yinyan, making her very uncomfortable, and the band-aid on her neck also caused burning pain on her scorched skin.But she couldn't pretend to make Lu Qi restrain herself, she could only subconsciously turn her body sideways to avoid other people's eyes.But he was on the defensive, at lunch, taking advantage of Wang Yanyan's surprise, Lu Qi finally couldn't hold back, and reached out to tear off the band-aid around her neck.The bright teeth marks were fully revealed on the neck.

Wang Yanyan glared at it, snatched it back and pasted it back again.

And Lu Qi was still in shock and couldn't recover.

She thought it was just a small strawberry or something, but those two... the blue with purple, and the purple with black...

This... this is being... "violated"...

Wang Yanyan ignored her and buried himself in his meal.

It took a while for Lu Qi to digest what she had just seen.

She stammered and asked: "When did it happen? You covered it tightly enough, it's not interesting, and you didn't let any rumors out. However, you guys are developing very fast." She pointed to the same spot on her neck. position, "It's just...a little...too fierce."

Wang Yanyan raised his head and gave her a hard look, "What nonsense! It was accidentally rubbed with a bath towel."

Lu Qi opened her eyes wide again, and couldn't help admiring Wang Yanyan's ability to open his eyes and tell nonsense more and more: "Please! Can the bath towel make a row of teeth? Is the technique very precise~"

Wang Yanyan was in a mess, not in the mood to argue with her, and as soon as he put down the chopsticks, he picked up the plate and left.

In the afternoon, he became more restless and disturbed.This made her eager to find someone to chat with, but it was obvious that Lu Qi, who was an outsider and colleague, was not the right person.

So at night she made an appointment with Zhang Dongyan.

Zhang Dongyan recently found a job as an assistant to the barista... in a coffee shop.The owner of the coffee shop is also the only barista here, and has the national professional technician qualification.I have worked in Shanghai for nearly ten years, and then got tired of the fast-food life and human relations in that city, so I resolutely returned to my hometown and opened my own small shop.The owner of the shop is nice, a little handsome, unmarried, friendly and open-minded, he treats Zhang Dongyan very well, basically teaches him hand in hand, and doesn't hide his secrets at all.Zhang Dongyan also gradually found joy in this job, read a lot of books in his spare time, and even enrolled in a barista training class.Her little life is slowly getting on track.

As soon as he sat down in the coffee shop, Zhang Dongyan slipped over.Wearing a slim white shirt and a tight-fitting black vest, he looked energetic.Wang Yanyan looked at her outfit and nodded, "It's so interesting." Zhang Dongyan was not a boaster at all, and immediately raised his head and chest, and cocked his tail by the way: "That's necessary, don't look at us who!"

Wang Yanyan shook his head helplessly, "Narcissism is difficult to cure."

Zhang Dongyan didn't care about her teasing, her mind was all on the "mark" on the side of Wang Yanyan's neck.

She pushed Wang Yanyan's head aside, revealing those ostentatious tooth marks. "You... you..." Suddenly looked around, lowered his voice and said contemptuously: "You won't be suppressed?! You won't be gnawed?! You won't be attacked?!"

Then, touching his chin, he shook his head and clicked his tongue twice, "This strength... is it your doctor?!"

The band-aid that was torn off once was too sticky, so Wang Yinyan took it off and threw it away.And she had nothing to hide in front of Zhang Dongyan, after all, she was ready to tell the whole story, and hoped that someone could give her some opinions from the perspective of a bystander.

After listening to Wang Yanyan's stumbling about the origin of the tooth marks, Zhang Dongyan said with a rare serious expression: "She insisted on walking 99 steps in this relationship, why didn't you take the initiative to complete the last step?"

After saying this, she turned around to greet the guests, and did not come back until Wang Yanyan left. (Chapter 105 has benefits)