inexhaustible

Chapter 58 Just Lie To Yourself

Shang Muxiao threw me on the bed and went to sleep. I couldn't move, even if I went to the kitchen to pour a glass of water, let alone charge the exoskeleton.

Getting drunk and crazy is unreliable...

I stared at the person beside me for a long time, and there were many discordant images in my heart that made him take off his pants and beat him to tears.He didn't feel anything, his eyelashes drooped under his eyes, and he slept soundly.

Sighing lightly, I reached out and rubbed his head indiscriminately, took off my coat and exoskeleton equipment resignedly, lay on the bed and read a book with my mobile phone.

If you want to choose a few modern inventions with epoch-making significance, e-books are definitely among them-you can choose the books you want to read anytime and anywhere, and your library is where your mobile phone is.

But I still feel like it's missing some of the joy of touching a physical book.The smooth paper, the smell of ink, and the sound of flipping through are all things that electronic devices cannot provide, and they come from the response of books.

Just like a fine work of art, photos seem to allow you to appreciate its beauty, but it is another taste to actually hold the real thing in your hands.

Click on Schopenhauer's "The Wisdom of Life" and start reading from the introduction.

Schopenhauer swears that this is a book that teaches people how to obtain happiness, but I bet that at least half of the people who read this book will disagree with his point of view at all because they were poked by him.

For example, he believes that people who are keen on socializing are shallow-minded, boring and stupid people. Because people with deep thinking have too much of themselves, they will no longer ask for things from the crowd, will avoid contact with others, and enjoy being alone.

I don't know how many people have been scolded by this paragraph.

For another example, he believes that beauty is very important, even for men.

After reading this, I glanced at Shang Muxiao beside me. His side face was pressed against the pillow, his hair fell a little messily on his forehead, and the lines of the lower half of his face were tough yet smooth. It was difficult for the best sculptors to create. masterpiece.

... Well, Schopenhauer is right about this, beauty does matter.

After reading the book, it was past eleven o'clock, and I felt a little drowsy. I was about to turn off the light and go to sleep, when Shang Muxiao beside me suddenly let out a series of painful moans.

"Don't...Mom, I was wrong...I'm sorry..."

He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows tightly, obviously trapped in a terrible dream and unable to wake up.

"Shang Muxiao?" I pushed his shoulder to wake him up, but he was deeply disturbed, and he just whimpered in fear, scratching helplessly with his fingers, like a drowning person asking for help.

"Shh... good boy, it's alright... it's alright..." I pulled him into my arms, stroked his head and softly comforted him.

After a while, he calmed down, no longer babbled in a daze, and seemed to be awake.But when I want to let him go, he wraps his arms around my waist and won't let me move.

"Hold...for a while." He said hoarsely, tightening his arms even more.

Looking down at the hairy head on my chest, I stopped struggling and patted his back with my fingers, which was a tacit consent to his behavior.

After a while, he calmed down and opened his mouth muffledly, starting from Shang Lu and Mei Zixun, slowly talking about his childhood nightmare.

"My parents, it was love at first sight..."

Mei Zixun has been known as a talented girl since she was a child, and she held her first solo exhibition at the age of 14, making her name in the art circle.Since then, it has been smooth sailing and the future is boundless.

Shang Lu is accidentally invited by a friend to see Mei Zixun's art exhibition.The painting didn't attract him much, but the girl who painted it occupied all his eyes.At that time, one of them was 19 years old and the other was [-] years old. The girl was one year older than the boy.

At the age of 20, Mei Zixun resolutely gave birth to Shang Yunrou despite her parents' opposition, and formed a "family" with Shang Lu.

At that time, Shang Lukong had a good appearance, he didn't want money, he didn't want a name, and he was in an actor training class, and outsiders looked like he was not doing his job properly.But Mei Zixun doesn't care, she thinks this is love, so she doesn't hesitate to break up with her family.

And Shang Lu's love for Mei Zixun... Maybe it can't be called "love" anymore, it's more like a kind of faith.He was obsessed with everything about her, obeyed her every word, and obeyed everything, even after entering the entertainment industry, he did not change.

Love is such a thing, sometimes "love" is not enough.

Mei Zixun is obsessed with creation, and Shang Lu's acting career is booming. The two get together less often, and their circles cannot overlap.They all knew the problem and tried to solve it, so they had a second child, Shang Muxiao.

Mei Zixun had a strong reaction in the early stages of pregnancy, and even had dystocia during childbirth, and was in a critical condition.After giving birth, she began to lose a lot of hair and suffer from severe insomnia. Even if Shang Lu hired the best doctor for her, it had little effect.The most terrible thing is that she lost the desire to create, her brain became numb, her body ached, and she could no longer draw as good as before.

She started to blame Shang Lu, the newborn child, everyone.She was ill, very ill.

In order to be able to better accompany his wife, Shang Lu had to give up his thriving acting career and return to his family.

He obeys her unconditionally, loves what she loves, hates what she hates.She doesn't love Shang Muxiao and doesn't allow anyone to love him, so Shang Lu doesn't love him either, treating him as a transparent person in the family.

"She felt... I was the reincarnation of the evil owl, and I came to destroy her and devour her. In my impression, she was always hysterical and never calmed down."

According to Aristotle, all good and distinguished characters are melancholy.

The former genius has fallen, and he can't bear to become mediocre.For sensitive artists, they are inherently sentimental, and it is indeed easier to exacerbate their inherent pessimism due to certain setbacks, and Mei Zixun is no exception.

The book "The Wisdom of Life" mentioned that there are two extremes that lead to suicide, one of which is the natural depression aggravated by pathology.The tragedy of Mei Zixun can be said to be formed after birth, or it can be said to be doomed from birth.

"She was always indifferent and impatient with me. I never got a trace of warmth from her. When she was three years old, she tried to kill me for the first time..."

I paused unconsciously, shocked that Mei Zixun wanted to kill her son more than once.

"She was always in the studio, and I was so curious about what it was that got her attention that I sneaked in. I moved her paint, just dipped my fingers in some."

"She came in and saw me, and started yelling like crazy, saying that I broke her painting. But I swear, I really didn't touch her painting." Different from the thrilling content, his tone was horrible. She said she was calm, calm, and not angry, and she would fall asleep the next second, "She strangled my neck and told me to die, if my sister hadn't rushed in and pushed her away, I might have died. My sister said that my mother was not like this before, she was just sick, and she didn't want to be so scary."

"If you're sick, can you be forgiven for anything you do?"

He started trembling like I used to when I was in a nightmare.

I tightened my arms and hugged him harder, didn't say anything, just hugged him silently and listened to everything he had to say.

"They all thought that three years old would not have memory, and thought that I would forget sooner or later. But I did not forget, I will never forget. I will remember until I die, remember how she wanted to kill me..."

After about four or five minutes, the trembling of his body gradually stopped.Feeling him let go of his embrace, I let go of my arms too.

He raised his head, his eyes were slightly red, but fortunately there were no tears.

Taking a deep look at me, he rolled over and got out of bed: "What time is it?"

"11:30."

Picking up the suit jacket on the ground, he shook it and put it on his arm.

"Where's your spare wheelchair?"

I pointed in the direction of the living room and said, "Stuck next to the bookcase."

He nodded and went out.

It seemed that he was completely sober, and he didn't know how much he remembered what happened tonight.

Not long after, Shang Muxiao came in pushing a wheelchair.

After parking the wheelchair beside my bed, he picked up the exoskeleton that I took off and went outside. When I went outside to check, he had already charged the device.

After all, exoskeleton equipment is a high-tech product, and its structure is quite complicated. I only knew how to use it with the guidance of a technician at the beginning, but now Shang Muxiao operates it as proficiently as if he had used it himself.

There was a strange feeling in my heart for no reason, before I had time to think about it, Shang Muxiao stood up and walked towards me.

"I'm going back, the egg yolk hasn't been walked at night." He said so, but he didn't move a step.

From my side to his side, it only takes 5 minutes at most, which is convenient.

"Well, go to bed early." After a busy day today and being tossed about by him for so long at night, I am exhausted, so I just waited for him to leave before I went to take a shower and go to bed.

He stood there for a moment and asked, "Tomorrow, can I take your car to school?"

I may also be tired and confused, and I actually think his expression looks a bit "uneasy".

what is this?If you act coquettishly, shed a tear, all the previous ones will be written off?

"...Aren't you going to give me your bank card number?" I asked without answering.

He frowned slightly upon hearing this, more like the debt collector than me.

"I'll give it to you tomorrow." He observed my expression, and further added, "I'll give it to you in the car tomorrow."

Oh, then there is no way.

"Wait downstairs on time at eight o'clock, don't be late."

Hearing this, his eyebrows suddenly relaxed: "Then...see you tomorrow."

"……Um."

A smile flashed in his eyes, he casually threw the expensive coat from his shoulders to his back, turned and walked out the door.

I told myself that this was not soft-heartedness, it was just to pay him back the money faster, but a part of my rationality that was suppressed deep in my heart broke free, and I expressed my deep disdain for it.

Just lie to yourself, fool...

Shut up!I locked it up again, genuinely wondering why it could be so mean.

The exoskeleton is good, but if it suddenly loses power or breaks down outside like today, it is really embarrassing.I don't know if there will be a spare battery, and if so, how much will it cost?

I kept thinking about this question while taking a shower, and after taking a shower, I couldn't help but took out my mobile phone and sent a message to Representative Xiao to ask.

Almost the next moment, the phone rang softly from the other side of the bed.

I followed the sound and looked under the bed, and found a mobile phone on the floor, which should have been accidentally dropped by Shang Muxiao when he took off his coat.

After picking it up and flipping it to the front, I couldn’t avoid seeing the photo set as the lock screen on his lit screen—a sneak photo of me.I was giving a lecture, holding a laser pointer in my hand, and I didn't notice the existence of the camera at all. Looking at the clothes, it should be a winter thing.

On the lit screen, not only my photo, but also a pop-up message, showing the nickname and content of the sender.

[Representative Xiao, do you have spare batteries for the exoskeleton? 】

Sender - Beijiao.