i see your calling

Chapter 120

Lian Yan had never done anything reckless.

But when the blood was flowing out, he thought of one thing, but it was also related to Shen Pingge.It was Shen Pingge's birthday, and that day was beautiful, because the snowflakes were falling. He was waiting for him at the gate of Shen Pingge's school, carrying a big schoolbag.

At 09:30, Shen Pingge came out of the school gate and saw Lian Yan at a glance. He said goodbye to his companions, walked towards Lian Yan, and said, "Didn't I tell you to wait in the hotel?"

Lian Yan's body was covered with snow, her cheeks were red with cold, but her eyes were shining brightly, and she was still smiling embarrassedly. Shen Pingge called him "elf" that day, saying that standing there, he was as beautiful as winter Christmas elves flying around the cypress trees.

The intention was very simple, Lian Yan just wanted to get him drunk and then give herself to him.Even though he already belonged to Shen Pingge.They ate in the restaurant below the hotel, the snow on Lian Yan's body had long since melted, and her hair was wet, Shen Pingge insisted on blowing his hair clean before he would eat with him.

His thoughts were too transparent, when Shen Pingge cast his eyes on him, Lian Yan was sure that Shen Pingge had seen through him, but Shen Pingge still drank a lot of wine, his cheeks became hot and dizzy, he even rarely complained: " I really can't drink it anymore."

Afterwards they came to the snow field, Shen Pingge got drunk and asked Lian Yan to accompany him to celebrate his birthday in the heavy snow, they all rolled onto the snow field unsteadily.

It was cold outside, and the snowflakes touched his body again. Shen Pingge hugged him, buried his face in his neck, and smiled sullenly, "It's all because you made me drink, and I can't walk anymore." They hug tightly.

Lian Yan remembered this moment very clearly. Their eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair were all covered with silver-white snow. Shen Pingge also sang with him, singing: "I would rather bare my hands and let it gradually cool down in the long night." ..."

They hugged in the snow, their down jackets rustled, the street lamps were far away from them, the car drove through the snow without a sound, the exhaust fumes disappeared in the dark, the high school students had evening self-study, had a snowball fight across the street, and heard the noise careless.It was a little cold, but Lian Yan felt her cheeks were hot, listening to him sing quietly, her heart was filled with indescribable sweetness.

"In the whole world, I only want you to love me. Everyone except you has heard that my feelings never lie to me, but this time it accompanies me to make mistakes..."

Lian Yan was stunned, and later found out that the song was called "The World Only Wants You to Love Me", Leslie Cheung's, he subconsciously grasped Shen Pingge's hand, and cried helplessly, choking on the sound of snow .

Tears fell on his neck, hot, and Shen Pingge looked at him blankly.

"It's true," he was drunk and explained clumsily, "I didn't lie to you, I love you very much."

Memories are here.

Everything after that was like a pot of chaos, a pot of chaos in winter, the crowd was noisy and bustling, he even heard Shen Pingge's voice, saying "save him first".Is the voice choked and hoarse?Shen Pingge seldom cried, he only saw him cry at Shen Yiming's funeral, Lian Yan suspected that the illusion given by Rainbow was too real, but he didn't see Shen Pingge crying in his wish.

When it comes to regrets, Lian Yan thinks his biggest regret is not writing a suicide note.He has a lot of time to explain his will, and although literature always stumbling him, death can make them reconcile very well.But who is the suicide note for?So Lian Yan did not write.

At 53:[-] in the afternoon, Lian Yan opened her eyes.

He saw out the window that it was raining.Why is it raining again?For a moment, he even felt that he traveled to the past, like a dog blood novel.

He didn't know whether he was dead or alive, he tried to move his fingers, and the wound on his wrist was touched, causing stinging pain - this is a sign of being alive, and it hurts to be alive.Lian Yan is not afraid of pain, but just turned the regret in her heart from a suicide note into a life.

When she raised her finger, it touched the strands of hair, and Lian Yan saw the person lying on the bedside. His eyes were wide open, as if he couldn't breathe, he held his breath in vain, and slowly stretched out his finger, gently When I touched my cheek, it was warm.

It's the real Shen Pingge.

Before he had time to withdraw his hand, Shen Pingge woke up suddenly, and the chair made a harsh sound.Lian Yan looked at his chapped lips and unshaven beard, thinking, would Shen Pingge be so sloppy?

Shen Pingge seemed a little at a loss, and after a while he bent down, touched his cheek very carefully, parted his hair for him, pursed his lips, but didn't say anything, just sat up with him to avoid touching him. to the wrist.Lian Yan was hugged suddenly, very tightly. He heard Shen Pingge's heartbeat, and was next to him vividly.

Lian Yan was a little dazed, he heard Shen Pingge's hoarse voice: "I'm very afraid that you will die."

Lian Yan paused and shook her head slightly.

"It's good that you're still alive," Shen Pingge let go of him, and went to pour water for him. Lian Yan looked at the glass, and the gentle water mist condensed on the wall of the glass, transparent and clean.Lian Yan leaned in his arms and drank the water obediently.

"I will go back to school in a few days, and I booked an afternoon flight, because the afternoon sun is very good, I will take a nap, and I will land at dusk. You should remember the sunset in Beijing, right? It is very beautiful," Shen Pingge said while sitting By the bed, holding his hand, he said softly, "Do you want to go to Beijing with me?"

Lian Yan looked at the thick bandage wrapped around her left wrist, and wanted to take it apart to see if it was healed inside, or it might leave a scar.He looked at Shen Pingge hesitantly, his eyelashes cast a small shadow, still trembling slightly.

"They won't come to you again, you don't need to worry about this," Shen Pingge said, "I will protect you in the future, okay?"

Lian Yan looked into his eyes and suddenly wanted to hug him, but she didn't have enough strength to hug him.Like some kind of psychological defense mechanism, it seemed difficult for him to feel great sorrow and joy, and he didn't want to cry.But he did not resist walking with Shen Pingge, so Lian Yan smiled and nodded.

The wound on the wrist was not serious, but there was a lot of blood.Lian Yan didn't know that it was hard to die by cutting his wrists. If he had known in advance, he might have changed his method.

Shen Pingge also stayed with him in the hospital bed at night, but it seemed that he had no legitimate reason to sleep with him.At night, the heavy rain was still falling, and there was even thunder. The white curtains reflected the dark thunder and lightning, and the very dull thunder sound. Lian Yan was instinctively afraid and trembling all over. Shen Pingge finally agreed to sleep with his arms around him and patted his back. back.

Lian Yan curled up in his arms and put her arms around his neck, weeping softly in fear.

How should I comfort you?In the past, you can kiss, touch, and kissing is the best intimate way God can give to human beings.But at this moment, apart from hugging, everything else seemed too much, Shen Pingge seemed flustered, and just said "don't cry".

Later the thunder died down, Lian Yan was able to fall asleep, and Shen Pingge did not leave, still stroking his hair.

The dressing was changed by the doctor, often when Lian Yan was sleeping, even when he was awake, Shen Pingge would cover his eyes and not let him see.Lian Yan found it strange that Shen Pingge seemed to really regard him as a piece of thin glass, afraid that he would fall or break, and carefully and cautiously protect him.

But it was a wound he cut himself. How could he be afraid when he saw the blood flow out with his own eyes?

As Shen Pingge said, Xu Mei and Meng Hanwen didn't come to him again. Lian Yan didn't know what Shen Pingge said to them, did they give them money, or threatened them with words?Shen Pingge didn't say a word about it, and even Yan didn't ask.

This time, there was no rainbow after the rain stopped. Lian Yan only knew that there would be a rainbow after the rain, but she didn’t know that there were specific conditions for the rainbow to appear. They boarded the afternoon flight, and Lian Yan sat by the window with her wrist The thick white bandage has not been removed, and his complexion is pale, but his eyelashes and pupils are black, like a delicate little porcelain figure.

He looked at the scenery outside and made sure that Shen Pingge didn't lie to him, and they could arrive at dusk.

The author says:

I finished the exam today... It seems that I didn't write this chapter well TT didn't feel too much, so the number of words is not too many, there is still _(:з」∠)_ tomorrow, and then I will live together without shame (. Thank you for reading