i see your calling

Chapter 119

The torrential rain drenched the plane trees outside the window, which foreshadowed that the butterflies lost their way.

Lian Yan took fever medicine and anti-inflammatory medicine, and threw a handful into her mouth. Maybe this medicine could kill him, but he didn't die.The window was left open, and the mess and shredded newspapers on the ground were soaked by the blowing rain. The butterfly, which was not dead, lay dying on the window sill, but a moth, ugly and horrible, died for him.

The high fever went away very slowly, and Lian Yan was sitting in his room, sitting on the corner of the bed, or hiding in the closet that smelled of mothballs—he did this when it thundered at night, burying himself with his clothes, but He didn't cry, he seemed to have lost the ability to cry, and could only tremble.

On Friday, Xu Bairan sent him a message, saying: Pingge asked me to ask you, do you want to meet on Saturday?

Xu Bairan said: He doesn't have your number, but you didn't call him either, so I can only come to you like this.

Lian Yan's high fever was still not healed, and he felt that he was finally close to relief, so he replied: I won't go.

He stopped reading the rest of the news, just slept endlessly, and it was still raining heavily outside the window. This rainstorm would last for three days. The woman on the TV said, citizens, please avoid going out.

If it wasn't for illness, Lian Yan would really like to jump out of the window. They are on the fifth floor, and he might die if he jumps. He doesn't mind stepping on the plastic water pipe to go down slowly—if the water pipe is willing to bear his weight.He wanted to go down and find a butterfly wing, preferably wet from the rain.

He suddenly wanted to eat hawthorn with frosting, so Lian Yan got up from the bed to look for the money he had hidden in his clothes pocket. He hid it in the pocket of his winter coat specially. pocket, but did not find the money.Lian Yan went to find Xu Mei and showed her the dress. Xu Mei glanced unnaturally and said, "I washed it for you."

Lian Yan trembled all over, threw her clothes on the ground, and gestured: There is money in it.

"Who knew you put money in it? You don't put the money in the bank, you don't put it in the wallet, you put it in your pocket..." Xu Mei muttered, and turned to dry the clothes. She was actually drying the clothes on a heavy rainy day, Lian Yan thought Laughing, she raised her head and said, "Maybe it was rolled by the washing machine."

He couldn't take the icing hawthorn home in the rainy day. Lian Yan was surprisingly no longer angry. He went back to the bedroom in a daze, picked up his phone, flipped through Weibo, and flipped through the playlist, but none of the songs seemed like him. Yes, in the end Lian Yan shared "3000 Years ago" and sent another long and complicated speech, which he just wanted to say to himself.

"Will someone live only by memories? I sometimes feel that I am not real. I seem to be living in the past. I am clearly sitting in the closet, but I feel that I am in front of the desk, and the books are full of crosses. I dream about jumping into the tropical rainforest, but I read on the Internet that the equator is not necessarily synonymous with high temperature, so where can a flame be burned without fuel? Is memory a necessity? Then if I am old, I have forgotten things, so what should I do, am I dead like this? The reason seems to be like this."

Lian Yan didn't want to write any more, he used his last strength to press the send button, and threw the phone on the pillow, where he was supposed to sleep.

The rainstorm is still falling.

On Saturday, Lian Yan dug out the art knife at home.The back of the knife is rusty, but the front is sharp and can cut the paper. Lian Yan cut the paper with an art knife, trying to imitate the note that Shen Pingge gave him that day, but unfortunately he didn't know what pen Shen Pingge used to write it. , otherwise he will imitate more like it.He has a unique talent for this.

He remembered the number, but he didn't know how to call Shen Pingge.

Small pieces of paper spread out on the table, like big snowflakes. As it got dark, the sound of the rain outside seemed to be quieter, but it was still falling. The smell of rain clung to the wall, and the car drove through the stagnant water with a "crash", The headlights flashed briefly across the wall, then dimmed again.

Lian Yan lowered her eyes, took an art knife, and slowly scratched the outside of her wrist. The body was not his, and he began to continue what he said on Weibo.He is a man who lives in the past and reality doesn't matter to him.So he doesn't feel pain, it's true, he sees blood come out a little bit, and it reminds him of Red.

Shen Pingge sings very well, if he sings, it goes well with rainy days.

The farewell ceremony is necessary, Lian Yan picked up the phone, his fingertips were clean, the blood continued to flow down the wrist, dripped to the ground, with a very small voice, he opened Weibo, carefully selected the playlist, Leslie Cheung let go of the song, he chose Faye Wong's song, a very nice song, Lian Yan tends to listen to those songs with monologues, which makes him often have the illusion that he is speaking.

@do you see my lost glass: If only you could sing me a song, I hate "Red".Can this song be played at a funeral? [Music: Faye Wong "Rainy Day Without You"]

Before the phone was put down, the comment reminder sounded.

@fjkybcdkk: What funeral?

Lian Yan felt very relaxed, and replied to him: I am planning to die, it is not a bad thing, don't worry.

The man seemed to panic and sent him two private messages.

@fjkybcdkk: What the hell?

@fjkybcdkk: Why die?

Lian Yan replied to him, smelling blood: Because it rained today, I didn't go out.

@fjkybcdkk: You can't die.

Lian Yan was puzzled by this, so he turned off the desk lamp and replied: No way.

The person on the other side of the screen was anxious, and replied: How can you not die.

Lian Yan looked at the line, but couldn't find a reason.The man seemed to be afraid that Lian Yan would not be able to wait, so he sent the message very quickly, and suddenly said: "I will die tomorrow."Wait until tomorrow, okay, let's talk at dawn.

@fjkybcdkk: The rain will stop tomorrow, maybe there will be a rainbow, don't you want to die in rainbow weather?

Lian Yan seriously considered his thoughts, but felt distressed. After all, he really wanted to cut himself, and maybe it wouldn't last until tomorrow.

@fjkybcdkk: Wait until tomorrow, when the rain stops.

He also said: Tomorrow must be a very good weather, when the sky is sunny, the light is very good, you must know that.

He also said: There is an evil saying in our place, that people who die in rainbow weather will realize their wishes in the next life.

Lian Yan never knew that he was still an idealist. This proposal was too tempting for him. After all, he had many wishes. he.

No one would refuse the fulfillment of these wishes, Lian Yan said: Really?

After getting the exact answer, the man seemed to be begging him: So you must not die in the rain, otherwise you will not get anything in your next life.

Lian Yan didn't want to get anything, so she said: Then tomorrow will be fine.

The blood slowly coagulated, Lian Yan waited for the arrival of tomorrow, and relived his 18 years in his mind, five years to be precise, from entering Shen's house, from Shen Pingge talking to him in class, At the beginning of saying "Are you Lian Yan?" Lian Yan thought, he actually knew his own name from the beginning, there are so many!So many people!He just remembered his name.

Shen Pingge had always been very kind to him, and it was honorable to refuse, and finally kissed him, saying that he would spend everything with him.Shen Pingge must not have guessed that the utility knife was rusted, just like he couldn't guess that the rainbow represents the fulfillment of wishes.

If we talk about regrets, he has no regrets. He just wants to have sex with Shen Pingge, and no one else can. He even wants to turn himself into a woman. If he can give birth to their child... what's the best name?Lian Yan didn't know.

Shen Yan?

So ugly.

Shen Pingge is still the best.

The night should be very long, but it actually passed quickly. In the early morning, the rain stopped, and it was really sunny, and even a faint rainbow appeared in the morning light.Lian Yan thought of the gasoline leaking from the rear of the gasoline truck, and when the sunlight refracts on it, there will be a rainbow. That is the rainbow on the ground, and the rainbow in the sky is fragile.

Lian Yan went to get the utility knife again, this time the cut was on the inside of the wrist, he didn't want to die, he just wanted to cut, he didn't think about anything else, the blood flowing out made him feel——he was leaving, he didn't need to worry So many.Lian Yan felt very sorry that the mobile phone was looping songs. If that was the case, when people were talking about it, they would probably regard "Red" as a ghost song.

The eyes gradually blurred, black spots gathered, Lian Yan saw the blood wet his arm, this must be the pass to death.

Lian Yan ran out of strength, and the utility knife fell to the ground, and finally cut his bare toes, it was a wicked utility knife.He leaned against the head of the bed, and vaguely heard the sound of a heavy push on the door, followed by the sound of footsteps, which seemed to come from a long distance away, hitting the locked door again.

When losing consciousness, Lian Yan saw the door open, he felt that the omen of the rainbow was real, because he seemed——really saw Shen Pingge, and he ran towards himself.Wearing white short sleeves, with sweat on his forehead, or rain?

Shen Pingge is his dream, utopia and utopia, Lian Yan always thinks so.

And today, his dream came true.

The author says:

I feel like I'm going to be sick after writing this chapter... I'm not abused anymore, my mother won't suck blood anymore, after that it will be sweet, don't worry.The elder brother will always rescue him and give him the Utopia. They are each other's kings.