desire to be loved

CHAPTER 12: WHAT TO DO?

The sky was grayed by ink, and the orange-red sunset glow remained in the distant sky. Sitting in the waiting room, Roy quietly stared at the scenery outside the window.

The thin figure makes people feel no trace of weight, and there is a touch of sadness and beauty on the still face. At first glance, it looks like a work of art in the Roman period. It is more sad than the beautiful scenery at dusk. Passers-by Will cast eyes on him.

Holding the air ticket in his hand, he touched the words on it repeatedly, feeling an indescribable emotion in his heart. This was the second time he had left his hometown, and the reasons for leaving both times were the same, and both were full of sorrow. Sitting here in mood, this seat seems to exist especially for him.

He knew that he had made an immature decision this time, and would choose to leave Taiwan without saying a word, because he didn't want to face anyone's persuasion, and he didn't want his determination to be shaken.

He knew that his relatives would be shocked if they heard the news, especially his mother, who specially prepared so many dishes for him last night to welcome him back, if she knew that the hug last night was actually saying goodbye to her, she would You will definitely be very disappointed in your behavior.

As for his younger sister, he thought she should be able to forgive him for leaving without saying goodbye, and understand that he left because of helplessness.

He sighed and stood up, ready to go towards the inspection area. On the way, he happened to meet a group of sightseeing groups. Some members may be going abroad for the first time. The mood, that joyful expression looked particularly ironic in his eyes.

He vaguely heard someone calling his name, he paused, blinked his eyes, then shook his head and said to himself, "No, it shouldn't be him..." He thought he had heard it wrong.

After moving a few steps along with the crowd, a familiar voice suddenly penetrated into his ears.

"Roy!"

He stopped immediately, at this moment he felt that the whole world became silent, only those two words clearly echoed in his heart.

Gathering up the courage to turn around in the direction of the voice, the person he was thinking of was standing ten steps away from him, looking at him with blazing eyes, meeting those deep black eyes, his heart suddenly rushed up.

"You...how did you come here?" His slightly raised brows couldn't hide his astonishment.

"It was Jill who told me that you were leaving Taiwan tonight." Luo Jie ignored the eyes of other passengers and walked directly in front of him.

Roy was very surprised that Jill would betray him, and leaked the news to Luo Jie, and he felt a layer of uneasiness in his heart. He was afraid that Jill would take the initiative to express his feelings to Luo Jie for him.

"Have you met?" He couldn't help asking.

"We didn't meet, he just called to tell me."

Luo Jie's words were like a gust of wind, sweeping away the uneasiness in his heart; it seemed that Jill hadn't said that thing yet, and Roy was relieved.

"Why did you leave without a word?" Luo Jie narrowed his black eyes and asked him reproachfully.

Roy didn't say a word, and didn't want to explain his behavior. In fact, he was afraid that once he opened his mouth, that mouth would involuntarily say something that would anger Luo Jie.

"How long are you going to leave this time?" Knowing that Roy planned to face him with this attitude until he got on the plane, Luo Jie sighed, feeling distressed for his stubbornness.

"I don't know." Roy answered honestly.

Maybe he won't set foot on this land again until he let go of this incident. How long will it take?He thought he didn't even know it himself!

"If you can't determine the time, at least send a few messages every year so that parents can feel at ease." Luo Jie knew that his reminder was superfluous, and he was afraid that if he stopped talking, Roy might turn around and leave immediately.

It's a pity that the sky is not as he wanted, and there was a broadcast at this time.

"Good night, passengers. Welcome to take xx Airlines flight xx18 to the United States. We will start boarding now..."

Hearing the announcement, Roy looked around, most of the passengers had already entered the control area, and only he and Luo Jie were left in the aisle.

There are only 10 minutes left before the plane takes off, and he has not yet completed the inspection, so the time is a bit tight.

"Please help me to say sorry to my parents, I'm going in." He waved his hand and stepped forward without hesitation.

Looking at the back of Roy walking alone, Luo Jie had an intuition in his heart - once Roy stepped into that door, everything would be hidden under time.

There was a voice in his heart that he couldn't just let Roy go like this, and he grabbed his wrist with a stride.

"What about me? Don't you apologize to me at all?" Luo Jie said in a slow hoarse voice.

Roy provoked his mood again and again, fiddled with his emotions like strings, made him angry and confused for him, and he had to ask him for this account.

Roy's body shook slightly, he turned around and withdrew his hand without a trace, a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth, "Are you still angry about what happened four years ago? If so, then I sincerely apologize to you— —I'm sorry." After saying these three words, he hoped that the thorn in his chest would be removed from his heart, and he would no longer feel indebted to Luo Jie.

"I'm not referring to the incident four years ago, but the incident that both Tingting and Jill knew about." Luo Jie thought that his words were very plain.

Roy's heartbeat stopped for a moment, feeling a gust of cold wind rushing into his body, his lips trembled involuntarily.

"What did Tingting tell you?" He hoped that his sister didn't betray him.

"She said that the person you love is me." Luo Jie spoke straightforwardly regardless of being in a public place.

Roy's whole body was stiff, and he turned his head away as if avoiding it.

"I don't know how she told you, but this is something out of thin air. After seeing the interaction between Jill and me, will you still believe her words?" At this juncture, he still chose to continue lying.

"Look at me, tell me the truth." Luo Jie's powerful fingers instantly held his chin, lifted his face, and gave him no room to escape.

"Are you going to use this lie to escape from me for the rest of your life?"

Roy took a deep breath to calm his chaotic heartbeat.

He knew that he told too many lies for his own selfishness, and these lies would eventually be revealed one after another like a domino effect.

But now it's time for him to face the trial. He looked back at Luo Jie without fear, and said word by word: "As Tingting said, the person I love is you. I have been in love with you since high school. You, my heart is always moved and crazy for you, what I want is not just to be your younger brother, I hope that one day my figure can be printed in the depths of your eyes."

"But don't worry, I will hide this feeling in my heart, no, I will forget it, and it will not appear in front of you, so don't feel burdened by this matter." Speaking out the secret in his heart, he felt a sense of relief in his heart.

Hearing Roy's confession in person, Luo Jie felt that his heart was beating, and a strange feeling was growing in his heart, but what Roy said later caused him inexplicable panic. Clutching his neck tightly.

He grabbed Roy's shoulder and said excitedly, "Xiao Yi, don't go."

Roy was stunned. He couldn't see Luo Jie's calmness from those black eyes. A hot emotion suddenly surged in his heart, which made him so excited that he couldn't breathe.

But in the next second, Luo Jie poured cold water on him.

"I think I may not be able to respond to your feelings, but I hope you can stay and stay on this land."

Roy's face was instantly pale as paper, he stared at Luo Jie quietly, his clear eyes were filled with deep pain, and those pains were embedded deep in his soul.

"Jie, you are so cruel. Since you already understand what I mean, why do you still say such things to me?" Roy smiled helplessly. There was no trace of resentment on his face, only countless sorrows.

He took a big step back, to a place where Luo Jie couldn't reach.

"Goodbye." With mist in his eyes, he took a big stride and turned to leave.

Luo Jie's throat choked, seeing Roy's tears, his heart seemed to be hit hard.

Seeing that Roy entered the control area and his figure was about to disappear from sight, a surge of fear gripped his heart.

"Xiao Yi, don't go, I want you to stay by my side..." He blurted out without thinking.

However, Roy has disappeared.

＊＊＊＊＊＊

Standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, Luo Jie watched Roy's plane slowly leave the land.

At the moment, his chest was full of melancholy, and he felt that he was really ridiculous. When Roy was by his side, he had been unwilling to face up to his feelings, unwilling to admit that he had a strange feeling for Roy .

He had to wait until he lost Roy again before he realized his intentions and realized how important Roy was to him.

In fact, he had a strange feeling for Roy a long time ago. At that time, he made a girlfriend in order to distance himself from the close contact between him and Roy.

Four years ago, he was very angry that Roy betrayed him and was with his girlfriend, but in fact he betrayed Roy first.

That incident just became an excuse for him to force himself to hate Roy.

He didn't want to face up to his feelings, thinking that a normal brotherly relationship was good for him. After hearing Tingting's explanation, he realized that those words that hurt Roy were all to avoid his own feelings for Roy.

He was really wrong.

If he could frankly express his feelings from the beginning, Roy would not be hurt so badly.

But what's the use of regretting now, it's too late...

After leaving the airport, Luo Jie immediately received a call from his sister.

He impulsively turned off the power of the phone, because he didn't want to hear her accusations, and now he only needs alcohol to accompany him.

After staying in the tavern for a while, he returned to the residence with a heavy heart, but when he saw the figure squatting in front of the gate, all the alcohol in his body disappeared in an instant.

"Xiaoyi! How could you..." The surprise in his heart was already so excited that he couldn't speak properly.

"It's all your fault, why did you say that?" Roy stood up slowly, with indifferent eyes, blaming him.

Luo Jie's words at that time seemed to cast ripples in the lake of his dead heart.

Luo Jie wanted him to stay by his side, didn't he know how much hope that sentence would bring him?

"What did I say?" Luo Jie Zhang Er King Kong asked, trying to search for what he said today.

"You said you want me to stay by your side, are you sincere?" Roy clenched his hands and asked courageously.

"So you heard that sentence!" Luo Jie finally remembered.

"Of course." Roy pulled out a small smile, "Don't you feel ashamed when a big man shouts so loudly?"

His ridicule made Luo Jie suddenly smile.

"Then are you willing to stay and stay by my side?" Luo Jie's eyes were as deep as the sea, revealing a sincere and unbearable expression.

A throbbing feeling came to Roy's heart again.

"Hmm..." he responded softly.

Although he was curious about Luo Jie's change in his heart, he was not in a hurry to inquire about the hidden meaning behind that sentence.

"That's really great." Luo Jie couldn't restrain the joy in his heart, he stepped forward and hugged Roy tightly in his arms.

Roy was a little flattered, but he gladly accepted the hug.

On Luo Jie's body, there was an aura that made him crazy. He quietly raised his arms to wrap around his waist, bringing their hearts close to each other, feeling his strong heartbeat through a layer of clothes. A faint sweetness bloomed in his heart.

"Come in quickly!" Luo Jie let go of him, opened the door, picked up his luggage and stepped into the house.

The disappearing warmth made Roy feel a sense of loss, and instantly he took Luo Jie's hand.

"What's wrong?" Luo Jie thought he was repenting.

"Jie, I love you." Roy confessed out of the blue. In the past, he only dared to say these three words silently in his heart.

"Even though you can't respond to my feelings, I still decide to continue loving you, so are you willing to accept a disobedient brother like me?" The sadness in his eyes has disappeared, replaced by strong affection.

If he can go beyond the night when he can only miss Luo Jie bleakly, he wants to find a tomorrow where he can gaze at each other.