You are my proper foothold

Chapter 63

The search project is still going on, it's already past six o'clock, and the sky has gradually darkened.

Because of the cold weather, there were not many tourists on the mountain, and they all went down the mountain one after another at night, and the scenery on the top of the mountain was even more deserted.

At the beginning, Pei Ran was still a bit restrained, he searched silently for fear of disturbing others, but now he didn't care so much, he called Xiao He's name loudly while searching, completely ignoring the surprised gazes from the people around him.

Hui Xiaoyou and Meng Zheng were in the opposite direction, and the more they searched, the more anxious they became.

But Hui Xiaoyou thought that he was a teacher anyway, he couldn't mess up the students before they messed up, but he couldn't mess up the students even if they messed up.

So he forced himself to stabilize his mind, and at this time he didn't even feel tired, and he only wanted to find Xiao He as soon as possible and take him back.

……

"Tell me, is it possible that he has gone down the mountain by himself?" Hui Xiaoyou, Meng Zheng, Pei Ran and the two policemen met at an iconic scenic spot on the top of the mountain at almost seven o'clock. Anxious, Hui Xiaoyou couldn't help asking Pei Ran like this, hoping that his guess was correct.

However, Meng Zheng answered this question instead of Pei Ran, "Impossible. I have already told the staff at the exit of the mountain gate and told them to contact me as soon as they see Xiao He, but they have not heard from them until now." news."

"Then where else can he go..."

Hui Xiaoyou looked at Pei Ran again, although he couldn't bear to force him anymore, but he was the only one who could guess Xiao He's whereabouts at this time, so he had to ask: "Pei Ran, can you think about it again?" , have you been to any special places when you and Xiao He came here before?"

"Special..." As soon as Pei Ran spoke, Xiaoyou realized that his voice was hoarse, and his heart ached.

He walked over and squeezed Pei Ran's shoulder and said softly: "Yes, it's special. Or maybe it's nothing to you, but it has special meaning to him? You try to think from his point of view, imagine how you were at the beginning He liked you when you came here, have you said or done anything to him somewhere that impressed him?"

"I'm impressed..." Pei Ran's eyes were a little numb, as if his thinking speed had slowed down.But 2 minutes later, his eyes suddenly lit up, and then he turned around and ran to the north of the mountain.

"Hey Pei Ran!" Hui Xiaoyou hurriedly motioned Meng Zheng and the others to follow. He remembered that the area to the north hadn't been fully developed and hadn't been opened to tourists yet. When Pei Ran and the others came, they probably didn't even have stone steps to climb. , where would they have been? ?

However, there was no chance to inquire at this time, Pei Ran ran as fast as if he was on fire, and the two policemen disappeared after a while with him, only Meng Zheng was left holding Hui Xiaoyoukuai who could no longer run step after them.

Fortunately, this time, they finally found it.

***

five years ago.

"...Xiao Ran, did we, did we go the wrong way?" Xiao He, who was already out of breath, looked suspiciously at the increasingly desolate scenery around him and asked.

Pei Ran, who was walking in the front, was actually not sure, but he refused to lose face in front of his friends, so he still put on a confident posture and said: "It must be right, I am a shortcut! You can rest assured that you follow me !"

"Oh..." Xiao He thought in his heart that if this is really a shortcut, I'll take your surname, but he didn't expose him.Anyway, his original purpose was not to climb the mountain to see the scenery, but just to be with Pei Ran, so he was satisfied to be able to walk together like now.

However, after walking for more than ten minutes like this, Xiao He began to feel that they were almost going to another dimension.

Although he has no interest in sights, it doesn't mean he likes getting lost.So Xiao He pulled Pei Ran to stand still and said worriedly: "Xiao Ran, I really think we've gone the wrong way, why don't we go back?"

"...Are you doubting my ability to lead the way?" Pei Ran's expression was a little embarrassed, the blush caused by climbing the mountain covered up the unnatural blush on his face to a certain extent.

He turned his head and didn't dare to look directly into Xiao He's eyes. He cleared his throat and said, "This is actually a hidden scenic spot that most people don't know about. I also found out after checking the strategy on the Internet."

Xiao He: "..."

It's justified and convincing.

Of course, after Pei Ran finished speaking, he also realized that this sentence was not very smooth, so he took Xiao He and walked a few steps forward, looked around, praying in his heart that as long as he could find a little bit that could be used as a scenic spot Any place is fine, at least let him complete the pretense before talking about it.

I don’t know if his will is so strong that it “moves the heavens and the earth”. He actually saw a broken pavilion on the edge of the cliff not far away. I don’t know when it was built. He might just think that there were a few pillars standing bare there.

It is estimated that because the north is about to be developed, the pavilion is also facing the fate of being knocked down, so no one will bother to repair it.

But it doesn't matter if it's repaired or not, it is enough for Pei Ran to have such an "ancient artifact" at the moment.

"Look over there!" Pei Ran deliberately pretended to be surprised and pointed to Xiao He, "I finally found it!"

Xiao He: "...It's amazing, is this the hidden attraction mentioned in the guide?"

"That's right, it's this pavilion! Don't you know the super famous building?" Pei Ran gestured exaggeratedly.

Xiao He smiled cooperatively, "I don't know, tell me about it?"

"No problem!" Pei Ran said in his heart that since you didn't know, it would be much easier to handle, and he just came here casually: "It is said that this pavilion was built in the middle of the Ming Dynasty. Do you know who built it?"

Xiao He shook his head, "Who is it?"

Pei Ran: "Have you ever heard of an emperor in the Ming Dynasty who liked carpentry?"

Xiao He: "I seem to have a little impression, the teacher mentioned it in the history class..."

Pei Ran clapped his hands: "That's right, he built it!"

"..." Xiao He couldn't help laughing, "Xiao Ran, you know so much."

"It's just a lot..." Pei Ran was a little embarrassed to be praised so earnestly, and turned her head with a blushing face and said, "Let's go, let's take a closer look."

"En." Xiao He happily followed behind him, and he had convinced himself to accept the setting Pei Ran told him in his mind.

When Pei Ran said it was built by Zhu Youxiao of the Ming Dynasty, he took it as being built by Zhu Youxiao of the Ming Dynasty. Anyway, he believed what Pei Ran said.

After approaching, Pei Ran first went into the pavilion to take a look. He felt that there was no danger of a sudden collapse before calling Xiao He in. He pointed to the magnificent mountain scenery at his feet proudly and said, "Look at the view here. How wonderful, people say that the trip to Xishan is only worthwhile if you find this place! The emperor's eyes can't be wrong!"

Xiao He smiled and nodded, "Yes, the view here must be the best on the mountain."

Pei Ran was overwhelmed with confidence by his praise, and couldn't help turning around and rubbing his hair at this moment, saying: "Xiaohe, you are too used to me, you won't refute whatever I say."

"Because I think what you said is right..." Xiao He blushed slightly, his scalp felt a little itchy, and his heart was also itchy. He could only try his best to restrain the eager thoughts in his heart.

Seeing his reaction, Pei Ran found him more and more cute, and suddenly opened his arms and hugged him tightly, jokingly said: "Xiao He, with your personality, it is most suitable for me to be my wife."

Xiao He: "...Xiao, Xiaoran...you..."

"What's wrong? Don't you want to?" Pei Ran lowered her head and looked at him, the tip of her nose was very close to him.

Xiao He couldn't help swallowing his saliva, and said in a dry voice: "It's not that I... don't want to... but... but that you really want me to be, to be your wife...?"

"Of course I am willing!" Pei Ran answered without hesitation, grinning and said, "You are so nice, unless I am stupid, I would not want to!"

Xiao He stared at him blankly, and after a long while, he lowered his head shyly and smiled, and said silently in a voice that only he could hear: "Yes, then it's settled..."

……

three years ago.

Pei Ran, who was once again publicly laughed at by his classmates, couldn't hold back his face. After returning to the dormitory, taking advantage of him and Xiao He being the only two people, he said to him with a serious face: "Xiao He, don't call me outside anymore. 'Xiao Ran', it sounds like calling a girl, every time people hear it, they laugh."

Xiao He: "...Then what do you want me to call you?"

"It's called 'Pei Ran'." Pei Ran frowned, "You see, I didn't call you 'Xiao He' a long time ago, I always called you 'Xiao He', although you have two names Not much difference."

"There is still a difference..." Xiao He lowered his head and said in a low voice.

"What did you say?" Pei Ran didn't hear clearly.

Xiao He didn't repeat it, just shook his head and said, "I know, I won't call you that in the future."

Pei Ran was stunned for a moment, he seemed to see a flash of loneliness in Xiao He's eyes just now, but it disappeared in the blink of an eye, making him suspect that it was just his own illusion.

"Are you okay?" He couldn't help but ask more.

Xiao He smiled at him, "It's okay..."

Pei Ran: "That's good..."

……

two weeks ago.

Lying on the bed in the dormitory, Xiao He saw Pei Ran sitting on the side with some preoccupations after answering a phone call from Hui Xiaoyou.

"What's the matter, teacher?" he asked.

Pei Ran looked at him and sighed, "It should be his stomach hurts again. He's been like this a lot lately, it's worrying..."

Xiao He's heart was a little sour, it's not that he didn't worry about Hui Xiaoyou, in fact he probably cared about Hui Xiaoyou as much as Pei Ran, but he didn't want to see Pei Ran so worried about another person.

After a while, just when Xiao He was feeling drowsy due to the headache, he suddenly felt Pei Ran standing up by the bed and began to put on his clothes.

"You want to go out?" Xiao He asked, bracing himself up.

Pei Ran hummed, and said to him: "I'm still worried about the teacher, he doesn't know how to take care of himself, I have to go and see."

Xiao He's heart tightened, and he hurriedly asked: "But didn't you say that you would accompany me tonight..."

Pei Ran came over and touched his forehead, and looked at him with some embarrassment: "I will come back as soon as possible. You just lie on the bed and have a good rest. I have prepared dinner and put it in the refrigerator. You can use it when you are hungry." Just heat it up in the microwave. Or order takeaway if you want something else.”

Xiao He bit his lower lip lightly, turned his head and said, "You care about him so much..."

Pei Ran couldn't help being stunned, and when he realized it, he said in embarrassment: "Don't think too much, I'm just fulfilling the duty of a teaching assistant. The teacher only set us two as teaching assistants for this class, so it's better than that. There are few other classes, and the task of answering questions is also heavy. If neither of us goes to class, he will be the only one to solve the problems of so many students. I feel sorry—”

"But didn't you ask for leave today?" Xiao He's voice suddenly became louder.

Pei Ran couldn't help frowning slightly, and said to him after a moment of silence: "Didn't you have a severe fever when you asked for leave, but today your fever is much better, so I should go logically. Xiao He, you should be considerate. "

"I..." Xiao He looked at him silently, suddenly afraid that there would be a look of disappointment in those eyes, so he suppressed the grievance in his heart and whispered: "Sorry... I was a little confused just now... you go, Please help me with your questions.”

"Okay." Pei Ran finally breathed a sigh of relief, covered him with the quilt again, stood up and said, "Then I'm leaving, you can sleep for a while."

"Hmm..." Xiao He watched him go out, then turned over lightly, pulled the quilt over his head and completely covered himself.

Even when he was alone in the room, he didn't want to be seen or heard by anything when he cried.

He felt that he could hardly bear the sadness in his heart...

last night.

Xiao He never thought that Hui Xiaoyou would still be willing to forgive him.

After he did such a thing, and failed his trust and expectations, he was still willing to give him another chance.

Hui Xiaoyou's tolerance made Xiao He feel worse than scolding him or even beating him up.

Obviously he did something wrong...why not angry?

Why do you still treat him so well...

Moreover, can he accept it calmly if he treats him well?

Can he really pretend to be flawless in front of his mentor and Pei Ran, pretend that he has never done anything, and continue to play the innocent and kind Xiao He in their minds?

Xiao He felt that he couldn't do it.

He might have thought about faking it, but now he didn't think he could.

He can no longer continue to deceive others and himself, he can't deny that he did it.Even if Hui Xiaoyou is willing to help him hide it from everyone, he needs to at least give Hui Yue an explanation and give Pei Ran an explanation.

Xiao He recalled what Hui Xiaoyou said to him, that a man should be daring to act and take responsibility.He cannot escape his responsibility.

And Pei Ran...

Xiao He thought that since even Yan Xiaoyou could forgive himself, maybe Pei Ran could too...

They have such a good relationship, he should understand him...he will tolerate him, and continue to accept him...

With such thoughts and hopes in mind, Xiao He chose to confess to Pei Ran that night.

But the result was not as expected.

Pei Ran's shock was within Xiao He's expectations, and Pei Ran's anger was also within Xiao He's expectations, but Pei Ran's disappointment, although within his expectations, was beyond his tolerance...

Xiao He felt that he was running away like a bereaved dog.

The place where he felt the safest and the person who made him feel most at ease, now he has to flee far away.

He couldn't face Pei Ran's eyes when he looked at him as if he was looking at a stranger.

He couldn't accept hearing Pei Ran say to himself: Xiao He, why did you become like this...

Has he changed?

It must have changed... He is no longer the boy who first met him when he was 16 years old.

Over the years, because he fell in love with someone who didn't like him, he put on layers of camouflage for himself, buried his thoughts inch by inch, and made himself cautious and trembling, so that he could live a happy life. I am timid and worry about gains and losses, but what is the result?

In the end, he still couldn't get his heart...and on the contrary, he was disappointed and disgusted with him...

Xiao He felt that this time he really realized what it means to be unlovable in life.

……

He came to Xishan again almost subconsciously yesterday, and once again avoided the crowd to find the place where Pei Ran first said that he wanted him to be his wife...

The dilapidated pavilion has disappeared long ago, leaving only a remnant of sawdust bricks and tiles waiting for development and renovation.

It seems that together with the previous feelings, they have become a pile of horrible ruins.

Xiao He wanted to cry, but wanted to cry without tears.

He seemed to have reached the limit of his patience, until there was only pain in his heart, but he lost the ability to cry.

He allowed himself to find a stone at will and sit down against it. The night wind in the mountains was biting, and he only wore a single shirt but he didn't feel that cold, but his body became more and more stiff, and his head became heavier and heavier...

Maybe I've been sleeping here all this time...

Xiao He thought when his consciousness was blurred, will Pei Ran come to me?

Can you, even just once, turn around and look at me...

Seeing that I'm gone, will you be anxious?