dhibooks Chapter 9 Is This Like It?
Chapter 9 Is This Like It?
==============================
In the next few hours, Dazai didn't say anything that Chuya wanted to know, but kept chatting with him about the arrangements after the Communist Party, including the matter of Chuya's appointment as a cadre, and his main work after that.
Chuuya was also very patient, and he didn't urge or ask anything. He knew that since it was something Dazai had promised, he would not go back on his word, so he also honestly remembered the main points Dazai said, and returned to the office from the secret passage. Just standing behind the other party, staring at the back of the person in front of him, watching him skillfully and steadily handle a lot of mess brought by the new leader.
It's not like a BOSS who just took office on the first day, maybe even Mr. Sen can't do better than him.
Thinking about Dazai's age, Chu also has to sigh that people are more popular than others.
It was almost 11 o'clock when the important work at hand was finished, Dazai finally stretched his waist, turned his head and smiled.
"Are you ready?"
"It's better to say that I can't wait."
Zhong also pressed the hat.
"Or should I say, are you ready to say it?"
"Ready."
Dazai smiled and stood up.
"It's been too long to prepare."
"Where to?"
Zhong also saw Dazai tidy up his clothes and raised his eyebrows.
"There are more suitable places."
Dazai said, pointing to the top.
"Let's go."
"above?"
Chuya followed Dazai's pace suspiciously.
The leader's office is already the highest floor of these five buildings, and if it goes further up it is...
........................
"Well, the scenery here is quite nice."
Standing on the rooftop, Dazai stood in the shadow of the door, and Zhong also opened his arms with an inexplicably serious expression.
"It's been a long time since I've come up. It's... well, it's been four years, more than four years."
"Four years?"
Chuya pressed the hat with supernatural power, and he looked at the red scarf dancing in the strong wind, frowning tightly.
The figure against the moonlight, but seemed to melt into the night, made Zhong feel unspeakable uneasiness at this moment.
"You never joined the Mafia four years ago."
Zhong also said sternly.
"Yes."
Dazai nodded.
"From Zhongye's point of view, yes."
Weird statement.
Nakaya looked at Dazai, at that iris-colored eye.
"Chuya, let me ask you one last question."
He watched the man stretch out his arms, as if inviting himself to a beautiful waltz.
"Are you willing to die in love with me?"
Listening to this strange speech with no beginning and no end, Chuya suddenly felt a strange palpitation, as if his soul was locked by that sight.
If he took another step forward, he would be tightly bound by him, and he would become one with that pitch-black figure, unable to escape again until he fell into the abyss.
And if you take a step back...
You can escape from birth, you can... you can...
It will be, watching this person's back step by step, and can no longer touch the slightest.
There was no evidence, no sign, just a premonition that came to mind suddenly.
but……
"I don't want to say any disgusting lines like 'I do' to you, let alone respond to words like death."
"but……"
He took a step forward, walked out of the stairwell, and walked into the night with Dazai, into the howling wind.
"If you mean any trouble you can't solve."
Chuya raised his hand, a dazzling red light appeared on his body, and the smile on his face was eye-catching and dazzling.
"Whether it's a death crisis or some damn plot, even if it's a doomed tragedy, I'll crush them with gravity for you to see."
He even pressed the pause button on the biting wind, and in Dazai's slowly widening eyes, the small figure was like the sun, dispelling all the haze.
"So, don't show that timid expression."
Finally, the gloved hand grasped the pale hand so tightly that it even made Dazai feel a little pain.
"Before I die, you don't want to run away, even if it's the nether world, I will bring you back!"
I should have been afraid of pain.
Dazai thought.
He looked at the eyes shining with moonlight, as clear as the best sapphire.
But why, at this moment, I am so nostalgic for this sting.
In a daze, he seemed to recall the same pair of eyes staring at him four years ago.
The thunderstorm and the storm that swept across the sky and the sea, the dark clouds finally cleared, and the sky was as clear as before.
"……what."
Dazai also clenched that hand.
"I won't let go either."
Never again.
He took a deep breath, calmed down his emotions a bit, and finally spoke in a very serious tone.
"That's the story that a 'book' begins."
........................
This story is very long, and Dazai seems to have maintained a rare patience, from the shattered world view at the age of 16, to the resolute break with Chuya at the age of 18, and then to the battle on the rooftop at the age of 22, and he solved all the worries in a single leap.
At the beginning, Chuya felt a little bit behind when Dazai explained what the book was. This kind of setting that completely broke the world view would take a lot of time to digest, so he was almost stupid throughout the whole process. Listen, follow Dazai's rhythm and let your mind wander in the story told by the other party.
Until the end, as if falling with him, he woke up suddenly.
"You said you...jumped from here...?"
Zhong also looked at the person in front of him in disbelief, seeing the smile still on the corner of his mouth, the hand hanging by his side trembled uncontrollably.
"That's your plan, isn't it?"
"Do not."
Dazai said mercilessly.
"This is my past, Chuya."
"Believe it or not, I am Dazai Osamu who came back from the future, every day at 0 o'clock my time will turn back one day."
As he said that, Dazai turned around, facing the edge of where he jumped off.
"As for me, four years ago, I started from here and lay down, as if I was going to lie on a soft bed."
"That was a rare experience. It took less than ten years, but it seemed like a long dream. I have never felt the feeling of being so calm and free of distracting thoughts. It was just so wonderful."
"And there will be no chance of feeling pain at the last moment. If there is a chance in the future, I really want to try it again. This kind of... the feeling of being crushed by gravity."
"... Dazai."
"Ok?"
As soon as Dazai uttered a voice representing doubt, the merciless fist hit him directly in the face, and ruthlessly knocked him to the ground.
"I punch you for my future self."
Chuya gasped for a few breaths, looked at Dazai lying on the ground pretending to be dead, and said in a deep voice with a gloomy face.
"Stand up, Dazai."
"...really violent."
Dazai wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, sat up slowly, with a calm face.
"But it's okay, I have long expected Zhong to do something similar."
He patted his black coat and red scarf, then slowly stood up, and continued to smile towards the middle.
"Continue to listen to the story?"
"……before that."
Nakaya took a thousand steps forward and opened his arms towards Dazai.
"You can punch me too."
Dazai froze for a moment, it was obvious that Chuya's behavior had exceeded his expectations.
"……what?"
"Huh what?"
Zhong also frowned, closed his eyes and turned his head as he spoke.
"I was also at fault! I didn't make it to the end...so I let you punch me too!"
"...Since this is the case, don't hit me, can't we deal with it as a balance?"
Dazai rubbed the purple bruise on his face, grinning and complaining.
"no!"
Nakaya opened his eyes and glared at Dazai.
"If I don't punch you, I won't be able to relieve the hatred in my heart!"
"... Tsk, the logic of slugs, okay, then you stand up."
As Dazai said, he swung his arms, and Chuya curled his lips and closed his eyes again, waiting for the fist that fell on him.
In the end, what was waiting was the hands gently placed on the sides of his face.
Seeing that Nakaya opened his eyes suddenly, and looked at himself with some doubts, Dazai smiled extremely happily, and then...
pinch!
"what!"
"Well, that's all right~"
Dazai took a step back, looked at the blushes on Chuya's face, and nodded contentedly.
"My fist probably didn't hurt even if I hit it, and seeing Zhong Ye's funny face, it's already earned my blood~"
"...You in the future...do you behave in this way?"
The corner of Chuya's mouth twitched slightly, looking at Dazai's innocent eyes, he rubbed his eyebrows and sighed.
"Forget it, let's get down to business, how did you get back to the present?"
"It's a book, and it was written with a story by someone else. The specific story and the principle...that doesn't matter."
"unimportant?"
"Well, it's not important, what's important is Chuya."
Dazai tilted his head with his hands behind his back and a smile.
"Now that you know everything, the only thing you need to care about is to stop that Osamu Dazai who will walk into the future with you."
"..."
"You can even treat me as a stranger, Chuya, we are two cars in the opposite lane, and today is the only time we passed by each other."
"stranger?"
Zhong also sneered.
"Dazai, are you comforting me, or yourself?"
"I'm just stating the facts, which is no comfort at all."
Dazai curled his lips, Chuya heard it, but he just sneered. .
"If you really think that I am not the same as the future Zhong, then you won't talk nonsense to me."
He stepped forward and poked Dazai's chest.
"I know you too well. If you really think that those of us from the past are just passers-by in parallel worlds, you won't be so concerned. Even if you yourself in other worlds stand in front of you, with your bastard character, you probably won't be so concerned. It's also a sarcasm to entrap the other party, right."
"...Chuya, I'm flattered that you know me so well."
Dazai lowered his eyes slightly and sighed helplessly.
"Who made you always show your bad temper on me."
Zhong also snorted.
"Now that I know about the book, it is impossible for you bastard to have an accident again. There are many ways to beat him a few times to wake him up. Compared with this, what are you going to do in the future? Do you explain such a lot to the past me every day?"
"This... I don't know."
"do not know?"
"That's the truth."
Looking at Chuuya's suspicious eyes, Dazai shrugged.
"Actually, two years ago, I just planned to have a good relationship with you today. Purely, in order to make up for a little regret, I really hesitated for a long time before telling you the truth. Decide."
Saying that, Dazai paused for a moment, and raised the corners of his mouth.
"No, it shouldn't be said that I made up my mind, it should be a whim."
"Today is the day when the conflict between me and Zhongya is the most intense. There is no better time than this day to confess everything to Zhongya, so I just confessed like this. It can be regarded as taking advantage of the trend."
"It seems that you didn't tell me these things at all in the past four years."
"Of course, who would say such time-wasting things in a dream?"
"Dream?"
Zhong also frowned.
"Yes, the dream. I saw it in a book before, and I have always regarded my situation as being in a dream that reflects reality."
Dazai said, slowly raising his head.
"Only in this way can I guarantee that I am still awake."
"So what Zhongya said is not completely correct. I really don't see you and the future Zhongya as the same person, but it is not the relationship between two different people. I believe your feelings for me are true, but ...I can't confirm that you will have a future."
"In this case, why should I make careful calculations for those illusory things? Today is just an exception. It just so happens that there will be a day when I can tell everything, and don't try it for nothing."
"So, Chuya, if you really have a tomorrow..."
Dazai took a step forward, grabbed Chuya's cuff, and whispered in the other's ear.
"Must tell that guy he's really, damn lucky."
Then, just when Dazai finished speaking and was about to stand up and take two steps back, a pair of hands suddenly wrapped around him, pinning him there so that he could not move.
"Dazai, are you jealous of that person?"
Nakaya turned his eyes sideways, looking at the man's black hair.
"You know, your tone sounds as if you would shoot him in the head without hesitation if he appeared in front of your eyes, obviously you doubt whether he really exists, but you are still like this hated him."
He said softly, and raised his hand to clasp the back of the man's head.
"Don't lie to yourself, Dazai, you didn't completely take this as a dream."
"...Then, do you want to wake me up?"
Dazai didn't struggle, just buried his head on the side of Chuya's neck, and said in a calm tone.
"That's up to you, Dazai."
Zhong also said softly.
"I don't know much about what you've been through, so I can't judge for you."
"..."
"But you can always call me for help if you need it."
Zhong also smiled and teased.
"I'll have a good laugh at you when you're sober."
"...that's too much—"
Dazai suddenly jumped forward with a whoosh, and was staggered by Nakaya.
"Does Zhong just want to mock me? I'm so miserable!"
"Of course! What a rare opportunity this is! Even if I can't see it with my own eyes, it's a wonderful sight to imagine!"
"I won't let Chuya get what he wants!"
Dazai stood up and pressed Chuya's shoulder, shaking Chuya with a long coquettish voice.
"Is that how you repay me? Obviously, I have obeyed Zhong's advice today! Wuwuwu, I misread you!"
"Then I will give you a suggestion as a friendly gift."
Nakaya held Dazai's wrist and looked him in the eyes.
"Every day from now on, tell me the truth. It's enough to leave some clues or write a letter. It shouldn't take long for you."
"... You're clearly a benefit for your past self."
"A part of it, mainly you."
Zhong also frowned slightly, and said seriously.
"It doesn't matter what his dream or reality is, being able to tell this matter is the most important thing to you."
"Don't show that kind of look that you don't care about anything, even if you are in a dream, you must try your best to live."
"why?"
Dazai asked puzzled.
"So that if one day you can wake up, you won't forget how to ask for help and how to move forward."
Zhong also looked into that iris-colored eye, and said word by word.
"That doesn't sound like a piece of advice to a suicidalist at all."
Dazai shrugged his shoulders, as if he had no interest in this, but Chuya was not surprised, just showed a smirk, leaned forward slightly, and leaned in front of the other party.
"But in this case, you can cheat those Dazai together with me."
Dazai froze for a moment, then his eyes lit up at a speed visible to the naked eye.
"As expected of Chuya, there is probably no one who is more powerful than you in calculating Dazai Osamu. I have never considered such a thing."
"To each other, there is no one who is better at cheating me than you."
"But, Chuya, you're still not being frank."
Dazai tapped the corner of his mouth as he spoke.
"It's obvious that I want to subtly believe that this is reality, otherwise it would be meaningless to do these things in a dream without tomorrow, wouldn't it?"
"...Do you want to hear it or not!"
Probably Xiaosi was aggrieved by Dazai's sudden seeing through, so Nakaya yelled, let go of Dazai's wrist, and was about to turn around and leave.
"Who cares about you!"
"Who said I won't listen."
Dazai stood where he was, looking at Chuya's back.
"Zhongye's proposal is indeed too attractive, and I can't refuse at all."
"It's just a pity, I can't see what those guys look like after seeing the 'surprise'."
"Then I'm so happy, and I can disgust you by the way."
Zhong also turned his head and smiled triumphantly, then waved his hands and continued to walk forward.
"It's almost 12 o'clock. I'm not interested in saying goodbye to you. If I have nothing else to do, I'll go first."
"Eh? Let me blow the cool breeze here alone?"
Dazai muttered pretending to complain, but Chuka didn't bother to pay attention to him, and went back to the stairwell on his own.
However, at the last moment before his body stepped into the shadows, a sentence suddenly came from behind him.
"Chuya, do you like me?"
Time seemed to be paused, leaving only the humming of the wind.
After a long time, Chuya raised his head and said loudly like sarcasm.
"Where did you come to such a ridiculous conclusion? Or, you like me but dare not say it, only dare to express it in this way?"
"Obviously Chuya did the unspeakable things to me first."
Dazai's voice sounded a little aggrieved.
"Not long ago, no matter how I resisted, he threw me on the sofa without hesitation, and left unsightly marks on my body..."
"Stop, stop! Stop talking nonsense!"
Chuya finally couldn't hold back any longer, and quickly interrupted Dazai.
"How could I..."
"If it were a lie, I wouldn't make up such an exaggerated story."
Dazai looked at Nakaya's astonishment with disbelief, disbelief with some faint suspicion, and the corners of his mouth slightly curled up.
"But it seems that I have misunderstood. Chuya doesn't have this kind of thought for me, he is just easy to get drunk..."
"No way!"
"Won't it? Really?"
Dazai asked, and opened his mouth slowly.
"Then, why on earth would Chuuya do that to me?"
Zhong also didn't answer right away, he just lowered his head slightly, and the hands clasped tightly by his sides trembled slightly, and after a long time, he finally shouted as if he had finally made up his mind.
"Listen Dazai, I hate you! No one hates you more than me!"
"I hate that you always give up on yourself! I hate that you always calculate people's hearts! I hate that you are picky eaters! I hate that you always forget to turn off the lights before going to bed! I hate the dark cooking you make! I hate your messy room! I I hate it when you keep crashing my car! I hate it when you steal my beer! I hate it when you draw little people on the papers I'm in charge of!"
"but……"
The blue eyes slowly lifted up, and the redness at the corners of the eyes melted Dazai's heart like the setting sun on the sea.
And that voice was also trembling, as if he was holding on to the last stubbornness and refused to let go, he exhausted all his strength to squeeze out this sentence stumbled out.
"But so what?"
Nakaya seemed to give up on himself, took two steps forward suddenly, and pulled the red scarf around Dazai's neck, forcing Dazai to bend down and look at him.
"Even if I hate you so much, I'd still be troubled if you suddenly disappeared! Bastard mackerel!"
"Chuya admits this?"
Dazai bent down following Chuya's strength, and asked with a smile, but the other party just looked at him fiercely, neither nodding nor denying.
"It's terrible possessiveness, is this liking?"
"Is there a problem!"
Hearing Dazai's slightly mocking tone, Chuya gritted his teeth and said something, but did not deny it.
"No, it just feels a little funny."
Dazai chuckled twice, then spoke suddenly.
"Yes, that's what I like."
Gently hugging the person who was stunned in front of him, Dazai whispered the last words in the other's ear.
"Chuya, I don't allow you to leave me either."
The zero o'clock bell rang quietly.
Dazai opened his eyes.
--------------------
The author has something to say:
clap clap clap clap
In the next chapter, let’s go through 16 and 15 years old, and then turn back the time and it’s over~