the world only has

Chapter 68

Why is it Yi Xin?After they met, Xu Shuangmian went back to Mid-Levels and asked him those strange questions. After he avoided these questions, Xu Shuangmian contacted Yi Xin again and directly talked about wanting to leave.

That day when Xu Shuangmian went to see Yi Xin, what exactly did the two talk about.Cheng Xuan even wondered if Xu Shuangmian already knew everything that happened that year, so he came back to ask him.

He quickly dismissed the idea.Cheng Xuan was terrified by himself, he kept this matter under wraps, it was absolutely impossible for Xu Shuangmian to know.With erratic eyes, he said to Ke Tinghan, "Go to his mother first. I'll think about Yi Xin."

Ke Tinghan agreed.

Until the day Cheng Xuan went to Hongxi to work, Xu Shuangmian still refused to communicate with him.

When he arrived at Hongxi, he found that Yi Xin hadn't come back to work, and the personnel said that he had submitted his resignation.

Gao Yuan came to find Cheng Xuan, saying that he remembered Xu Shuangmian came to Hongxi to drink coffee with Liang Jinxin and met Yi Xin and said that he went back to the old house to see his father, but he clearly saw Yi Xin coming out of the coffee shop downstairs in Hongxi.Later, he asked people to go to the old house for questioning, and only said that Yi Xin never went back to the old house on weekdays, and only went back on weekends.

Cheng Xuan was furious, and said how could it be such a coincidence that Yi Xin was present, and there must be something wrong with it.

He called Ke Tinghan to ask if he could find Liang Jinxin's mother.

Ke Tinghan said in embarrassment: "I found it. I have already sent someone to invite her. But..."

"But what?"

"Liang Jinxin is missing an arm. I feel like I'm crazy. I don't think it will help to find his mother."

Cheng Xuan is very despicable, Xu Shuangmian's soft heart towards Liang Jinxin was taken advantage of by him, he twitched the corner of his mouth and said: "He's not crazy. He stayed in Liang's house for decades for his mother's sake, and for her prosperity and wealth. It's easy for him to pretend to be crazy and act stupid, and I wonder if he doesn't care about his mother anymore."

"Yes."

Cheng Xuan was a little impatient: "When can I arrive?"

"His mother is going abroad for vacation, and I think he will be able to pick him up the day after tomorrow at the latest."

"As soon as possible! Let me know when you arrive, and I will go to Renrong to ask questions in person."

"Yes."

Yi Xin couldn't be contacted, so he probably ran away.He suddenly remembered that Xu Shuangmian's mobile phone was still in his hand, and he might be able to contact Yi Xin through this mobile phone.He took out Xu Shuangmian's phone and unlocked it, and saw Xu Shuangmian's reply.

He replied: I'm sorry, I don't want to leave City C, and I don't want to leave him either.Where to go is not the problem, but who to go with.I can't figure out where I want to go or where I can go by myself.You say you are with me, but no matter who is with me except him, for me, I am always alone.

Cheng Xuan remembered that Xu Shuangmian cried miserably that day, and when he went to wake him up for dinner, he could see a large tear stain on the pillow that had dried up.He thought that Xu Shuangmian was crying because of the reluctance he felt for him after he decided to leave, which made him even more angry, so he spoke at such a wrong time.But he was wrong, until now when he saw this text message, Cheng Xuan still couldn't figure out why Xu Shuangmian was crying.Since he decided not to leave, there was nothing to cry about.

He finally realized that he was the one who forced Xu Shuangmian to say that he was going to leave.Cheng Xuan couldn't wait to go back to the middle of the mountain, and Xu Shuangmian was really nestled on the bed.When he saw the huddled figure on the bed, he flinched.Things have come to this point, even if he pleaded guilty and apologized like before, can everything go back to before he checked Xu Shuangmian's phone.What's more, the problem wasn't just when he was checking his phone, nor was it just when he forcibly brought people back to Mid-Levels. He went back in time and thought about where the problem was.

It's been too long and too many things have happened.With a single thought, all the possibilities that follow have created today's problems.Cheng Xuan suddenly felt hopeless, and he didn't know how to solve it.It’s like a beautiful old sweater with thread hooked on it. It’s still wearable and looks good, but the wearer is always worried, fearing that the thread will be caught and pulled, and the whole sweater will slowly slip away from the thread. spread.

Dinner was served in the living room.Xu Shuangmian eats and sleeps every day, and avoids taking walks, but he is getting thinner day by day.He washed up after eating, and then climbed into bed and lay down again.

Cheng Xuan walked to the bed and asked, "Go out for a walk? Always doing this is not good for your health."

Xu Shuangmian turned her back to Cheng Xuan, curled up into a ball and covered herself with a quilt, and still didn't speak.

Cheng Xuan had no choice but to wash up too, then climbed onto the bed with the computer in his arms, searched for Xu Shuangmian's favorite opera and played it to him.

At eleven o'clock, Cheng Xuan turned on the computer, turned off the lights and curtains, and lay down to sleep.

These years Cheng Xuan is like a tightrope walker in the air, if he is not careful, he will fall to pieces.Now that Xu Shuangmian stood under the steel cable and called him, he was so happy that he forgot that he was still in the air and lowered his head to look. When he came back to his senses, he had already fallen to the ground, his internal organs smashed to pieces.He knew that Xu Shuangmian was not asleep, but he still couldn't help asking: "Mianmian, do you love me?"

"..."

Cheng Xuan waited for the answer to this question for a long time, so long that he thought that this was the case between them, and so long that he thought that until he died, Xu Shuangmian would never give him the answer he wanted now.Cheng Xuan thought: He used to love me, but now he probably doesn't.

Xu Shuangmian murmured to Cheng Xuan, "I love you." But how dare you ask me, why do you ask me, why are you asking me now.

He was crying, but Xu Shuangmian hadn't noticed that he had lost his voice, even crying.

what is love?

Cheng Xuan cares about him, understands him, and cares about him, but these together are not love.For the current Xu Shuangmian, love is untouchable, fleeting, uncontrollable luck, and a rare thing that cannot produce decisive effects no matter how much effort he puts in.Not everyone can own rare items, it depends on fate.Without Cheng Xuan's love, Xu Shuangmian doesn't blame him, it's not in his life, no matter how hard he works, it will be in vain.Being loved cannot and cannot be taught. The harder you try, the more it will backfire.

Xu Shuangmian cried when returning Yi Xin's message because he always believed that as long as he insisted, Cheng Xuan would definitely fall in love with him, and he persisted in this cognition until he needed to face the denial of his love.That is, if Cheng Xuan didn't fall in love with him, would his love continue.Xu Shuangmian was crying because he was miserable. Even though there were signs that Cheng Xuan had completely denied his love and persistence, he found that he still couldn't let Cheng Xuan go.

In this world, not everyone can get the one he deserves.

Cheng Xuan didn't hear his answer, and immediately asked: "Then do you hate me?"

Soon he said again: "Forget it, don't talk about it. I don't want to know."

Cheng Xuan knows that he is a very selfish person, but he also has low self-esteem, so once there is a little sign that Xu Shuangmian is going to leave him, it is like a knife that has been hanging over his head has finally come down.I thought to myself: I really don't deserve this love, that's why he wants to leave.He was reluctant to let Xu Shuangmian go, but he didn't dare to have the bold idea of ​​really being together with Xu Shuangmian.Like flying a kite, if you are too far away, you are afraid that the string will break and the kite will fly far away, so you quickly gather up the string to give yourself a sense of security; if you are too close, you are afraid that the kite will fall, so you have to loosen the string so that it can fly higher.

But people are not kites.

Cheng Xuan didn't expect that Xu Shuangmian would want to break free from his string one day and fly as far as possible.

Does Xu Shuangmian hate him?In the past few decades, he didn't know what hatred felt like. In Xu Shuangmian's heart, hate was a very important word. Even if Cheng Xuan tricked him into staying in U country for six years, he still didn't hate Cheng Xuan.He didn't even hate Xu Zhengyan.But now he felt that he should hate Cheng Xuan.He didn't want Cheng Xuan to have a bad life, nor did he want him to be sad.He just couldn't compromise to be with Cheng Xuan, and Xu Shuangmian couldn't let go of Cheng Xuan.No matter how many words he said I'm sorry, Xu Shuangmian could be relieved only by separation.

He has always believed in Cheng Xuan, but because of Cheng Xuan's evasion after asking, he was a little wavering.Then I went back to the old house to find the mobile phone, obviously I had many chances to check it, but Xu Shuangmian still didn't check it.Because he felt that no matter what the truth was, he was not ready to let go of Cheng Xuan.But when Cheng Xuan confessed to checking his cell phone and forced him back to Mid-Levels, he was very sad, so sad that he wanted to punish this person by leaving.It's not that he's capricious, it's just that suspicion and lies are the normal state of love. Any relationship in this world will inevitably experience suspicion and conflict.Xu Shuangmian is still unwilling to admit that his love for Cheng Xuan has become a maze that he doesn't know how to get out of.