The Swan Bay Murders

Chapter 25 Li Jiangluo 1.2

I secretly wrote a New Year's card to Brother Bai Chuan. There was nothing special about it, but I just told him that this gift should be kept secret, because neither uncle nor aunt had any.

I deliberately left the gift at his door just like when he gave me an apple on Christmas Eve last time, so that I don’t have to talk face to face, and it’s easier for me to give the gift.

Because originally, the two of us had so much alone time when we came back at noon, and I should have given it to him at that time.

It seems that giving gifts in person is more sincere.

However, I still couldn't do it. After several times of hesitation, the gift was almost taken out of my pocket, and finally I put it back again.

I seem to have always been like this, and I don't have the courage to face anything.

Actually, today, I am very embarrassed.

I don’t know everyone very well when I go to the company to deliver dumplings to my colleagues, but they are all very sunny and playful people. Usually, Brother Bai Chuan doesn’t get along very seriously with them, maybe they are more like friends in private.

When the two of us left the company and were about to go home, I heard someone jokingly calling me "the boss's wife". At that time, my whole heart was in my throat, and my fingertips were cold.

I don't know why that person said that, what did I do to make them misunderstand, or Brother Bai Chuan...

Brother Bai Chuan should be fine, after all I am Berlin's lover.

Even now that Berlin is no longer there, it is impossible for him to have any thoughts about me, it is impossible.

Fortunately, Brother Bolin didn't take that joke seriously, and he didn't come to explain anything to me, otherwise the atmosphere might be very delicate. I'm not sure I can face this matter calmly, and I'm even more afraid Brother Bai Chuan will misunderstand me, and then I will really be unable to face him.

Perhaps, I should find an opportunity to talk to that colleague, so that they will stop making such jokes in the future.

It was past two o'clock in the middle of the night, and I didn't feel sleepy at all.

Sitting on the bed, I flipped through the messages that Berlin had sent me in the past. There were so many that I couldn't even get through them.

I searched, and he sent me a long message during the Spring Festival last year.

At that time, I was alone at home, and he went to accompany his parents.

He knew that I had no one to accompany him, so he kept chatting with me on WeChat after returning home. I heard my uncle and aunt asked him to invite me to go to the New Year together. He smiled and asked me if I wanted to go, but I refused.

It's not that I don't want to go, it's just that I don't know how to get along well with the elders.

Growing up, I was most afraid of facing these elders.

But now it seems that I get along very well with my parents in Berlin, because they are really the best parents I have ever met.

I would also think, how wonderful it would be if my family could do the same. If it was true, I would not have seen such a scene when I was a child, and would not be left with unbearable psychological trauma. Then, I would Like tens of thousands of ordinary people, I can fall in love with the person I like, we can hug, kiss, have sex, and hold him while sweating profusely and keep telling my love.

So, who should I hate?

I also prepared a New Year's gift for Berlin.

It's my handwritten letter.

Unlike the card to Brother Bai Chuan, this is a real letter, very long, a full two pages.

Except that the miss is the memory, I found that when I wrote, the resentment hidden in my heart could not be written.

I still don't want Berlin to know that I blame him, and I still hope he'll be fine in another world.

I found the iron basin I had prepared and burned the letter to him.

The room was filled with smoke for a moment, choking me so much that I could not stop coughing.

Seeing that the letter paper was ignited bit by bit, my heart sank slowly.

When the fire was extinguished, my heart was at peace.

Lying back on the bed, my mind went blank.

There was still the faint sound of firecrackers outside, and some people probably really stayed up all night.

I lay down for a while, and my palms stuck to my crotch and bottom again.

It seemed normal there, indeed, there was nothing wrong with it, it was me, my heart that was sick.

It still hurts, even apart from the death of Berlin, I still feel pain.

This pain comes from myself, and the only savior is also a liar. In the future, is it true that I can no longer love anyone?

I was a little self-defeating, and suddenly had the idea of ​​self-torture.

Since I can't stand it, what would it be like to force sex?

Will it die?

I frowned, thinking about it made my stomach churn.

The phone rang suddenly, which startled me.

I took it over and saw that it was Xu Zhao.

He is also very strange. He hasn't contacted me these days. I sent him a New Year's greetings message at twelve o'clock, and he only replied now.

A long paragraph, like the one Berlin sent me last year.

He said he missed me, and said that he went to the bar to drink alone on New Year's Eve.

I'm a little worried that he didn't come home to celebrate the New Year tonight.

If what Xu Zhao said in the message is true, then I made him the culprit.

Holding the phone, I don't know whether to call or not.

I really don't want to see Xu Zhao now, because I don't know how to face it, but after all, there are still so many years of feelings between us, let alone, I tried to explain it to him.

Besides the members of the Xing family, he is still my best friend and best brother.

I hesitated for a long time, and finally dialed him.

However, it took a long time for the other side to pick up, and the voice from the other side made me frown.

It was a strange boy's voice who answered the phone, panting and asking who I was, which gave me a bad feeling.

Sure enough, before I could speak, Xu Zhao's voice came from over there again.

With drunkenness, he hurriedly asked the boy to hang up the phone.

Then, there was the sound of kissing.

I hurriedly hung up the phone, suppressing the nausea in my heart, and thought to myself, so Xu Zhao also lied to me.

He's not alone, he's not alone.

I was probably angry, but I didn't know whether it was Xu Zhao or myself who was angry.

I took off my pants and gripped the organ as if venting.

I rubbed it hard like crazy, but it didn't respond, and I couldn't help but want to throw up.

My mind is full of pictures I saw when I was a child, my dad, the best gift to my childhood.

When I came back from the bathroom, I saw Brother Bai Chuan standing at the door of my room.

He looked at me blankly, making me flustered.

I guessed that he didn't know about my crazy behavior just now, and I tried my best to restrain myself from making a sound.

So if this is the case, why did he come to me?

Is it because of the cufflinks?

"I want to chat with you, should I go to your room or come to my place?" His tone was light, and no emotion could be heard.

I thought of the burnt paper ashes in my room, as well as the quilt and pillow I threw on the floor in excitement just now, so I said, "Go to your room."

He nodded, turned around and went in first.

I was very puzzled in my heart, looking at his appearance, it didn't look like he wanted to thank me for the gift.

I followed him into the house without asking any questions, waiting for him to speak.

Brother Bai Chuan stood with his back to me, seemed to be thinking for a long time, then sighed, turned on the computer and said to me: "I'm really sorry, it's so late, and I asked you to come and work with me."

"Ah?" I never thought that he came to me for this matter, which was completely beyond my expectation.

He smiled awkwardly, and opened a document: "I've read the document sent by the other party, and I don't think it's a big problem, but there are still things that need to be discussed. You can also take a look, after all, you can't be my assistant all the time. If you want to go out and do independent projects in the future, you need to practice more.”

I stood there stupidly, still unable to react.

The wet hair and water droplets rolled down from my face and neck when I just washed my face, and flowed coldly to my chest.

He reached out and pulled me over, squeezing my wrist tightly.

I sat down on the chair by him in a daze, and he stood behind me.

"Look carefully, don't be dazed, don't think about anything else, tell me what you think after reading it."

I was at a loss, but since he said so, I had to follow suit.

I have read this document before, but the other party has edited some details. After reading it, I called Brother Bai Chuan and found him smoking a cigarette while looking out the window.

Probably because I was so engrossed in watching it that I didn't even know when he lit the cigarette.

I just looked at him and felt that he was the same, preoccupied.

I am now almost sure that he came to me just now to ask me to read this document, because it is not something urgent, and there is no need to stay up late on the New Year’s Eve to ask me to read it again overnight, and if it is just Looking at the documents, why should he be so sad.

I called him: "Brother."

He froze for a moment, then turned to look at me: "Have you finished reading? Tell me."

"Are you looking for something else with me?" It was rare for me to be so honest.

He paused, and the ash in his hand fell on the window sill.

I stared at him, feeling braver than ever.

"If you have anything to say, just say it directly. I don't feel comfortable with you like this." I think it's probably not a good thing, otherwise he wouldn't be like this.

In my heart, Brother Bo Chuan is different from Berlin and Xu Zhao. He seems to have gathered all the advantages of those two people, caring, gentle, mature, and a gentleman. During the New Year's Eve dinner, none of us dared to mention Berlin's name, but he could.

He kept pulling us forward, I thought, he must have something important to do, that's why.

We looked at each other, and he finally nodded, took a deep breath on his cigarette, and said to me: "Jiang Luo, I went to find you just now, but your door was not closed."

At that moment, cold sweat poured out from every pore of my body. I don't remember it at all. I only remember that I opened the window to let the burning smell dissipate quickly.

and so……

I didn't lock the door, and my bedroom door was blown open by the wind?

I looked at him in disbelief, his brows were tightly furrowed, I wondered if it was my illusion, as if I saw his blue stubble.