The actor is dying every day

Chapter 111: Talking

Of course, Xie Yunfei did not forget the old story that Shen Gu mentioned.

Not only did he not forget it, it was engraved in his bones all the time.

For so many years, he has always thought that what he said to Shen Gu back then would only make Shen Gu laugh at that time, how could he have thought that he at that time would have been remembered by Shen Gu in his heart.

Seeing his astonished expression, Shen Gu didn't have much surprise, but continued to talk: "I know, maybe you think it's your luck when you receive the audition notice, or even after entering the group. But in fact, my film, The actor I’ve been waiting for is you. I actually dared to bet at the time... You are young after all. The investment in the show was very high. At that time, the entire production team opposed me to find a new actor. I said no, the image of this character , no old actor can stand up, I want a young and energetic newcomer. Maybe you want to ask me, what if you don't go to the audition, in fact, I really didn't think about this issue at the time? "

Thinking of the state of mind back then, Shen Gu still couldn't help but smile slightly: "I just felt that your demeanor at that time told me that you would definitely cooperate with me and that I would remember you with such enthusiasm. , since you said it, why don't you come if you have the opportunity?"

"But thinking about it now, if you didn't come to apply for the job back then, the big deal for me would be to randomly pick one of the more than 1000 actors who submitted to me and the production team would be satisfied, and then finish filming the show step by step and finish the job. Indeed, It was really nothing at the time if you were missing from a drama, but if you didn't come, I would take it as a lie to me, and it would be wasted if I waited for you for more than a year."

Xie Yunfei had already heard tears streaming down his face, he wiped the tears off his face with two tissue papers, and asked unwillingly and regretfully, "Then why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Yeah, I also want to ask myself why I didn't tell you earlier." Shen Gu also smiled sadly, "Back then, I could sense that you were a person with strong self-esteem, so I never dared to say that you were self-confident in your heart. I thought that the good luck was because I deliberately released water, and I felt that I was protecting you in my own way, but it turned out to be the opposite... After we broke up, I also thought a lot, I don’t like to communicate, and I didn’t want to do many things before Speaking out, this is also my problem. I am gradually changing now, but we can't go back. Alas... It seems that our fate is only so shallow. It is so shallow that we can only complete a verbal conversation that we don't know each other. The covenant, but it can't fulfill our long-term relationship."

Xie Yunfei cried until he choked up, Shen Gu was not much better, his nose was sore and his eyes were red when talking about these things.

Shen Gu slowed down and then said: "Later, your mother told me a lot about when you were a child. In fact, I know that you have not been understood by your family since you were a child. No matter how much you have achieved, they will never understand you. Praise you. I also know that later because your parents knew about the fact that we started living together after we officially got together, so they directly severed the parent-child relationship with you. After we got together, my family didn’t like you very much. , so I actually know that you have been very insecure in this regard, but at that time I always thought, it’s nothing, anyway, with me by your side, no matter what, I will be with you, I will love you..."

Shen Gu paused at this point, then looked into Xie Yunfei's eyes and asked: "Actually, in these years, what I give and what you want have always been different, right?"

Xie Yunfei wiped away tears, thought for a while and said: "Actually, thinking about it now, I have been holding on to those illusory things, but I have missed the most important thing. As you said, your family members don't like me and don't accept me. , This is really a knot in my heart all the time. Because my parents discriminate against homosexuality, they just treat me as a monster, and even think that I like men because I have a disease, so between me and them, although I feel regretful and helpless, But I also know that we can only do this. But your parents and family... They can actually accept this and can understand it, so I understand that they just don't accept me..."

Xie Yunfei took a deep breath, and said calmly: "You're right, this has always been a knot in my heart, although it's really naive and ridiculous to think about it now, but I was deeply involved at the time, and I really couldn't see it. open."

"There is nothing we can do about family matters, so we won't talk about it any more." Shen intentionally continued, as if he wanted to clear up all the misunderstandings that he hadn't explained clearly before, and opened a new topic, "Then can you Can't explain to me about your derailment later..."

Although he felt that it would be embarrassing for both of them to ask this question after they had already broken up, but Shen Gu thought, anyway, what else can we do if we have already talked about this?

Before Xie Yunfei could answer, Shen Gu added another sentence: "You don't need to tell me that you really changed your mind at that time to prevaricate me. I don't think your feelings come and go in a hurry. After so many years, at least I understand you. I have also seen the bookcase in your house, I think if you don't have me in your heart, you won't put all the things I returned to you..."

"In the final analysis, it's because of the last incident..." Xie Yunfei sighed, "Because I have never been approved by your family, and I am very paranoid about this incident. Every time I talked about this with you, You always say it’s okay, and then tell me to leave it alone... But I just can’t see it, and it’s actually my fault. I ask too many questions, and you naturally get impatient. But you perfunctory me too much, and I always I will feel that you don't care much about me..."

Seeing that Shen Gu was a little angry again after hearing this, Xie Yunfei could only coax him first: "Don't be angry... You have told me so much frankly, I should never hide it from you. I also To be honest, what I thought at the time..."

Shen Gu turned his head away again, Xie Yunfei was a little scared, and his voice was much lower, and then said: "Anyway, I was stupid at the time, I always felt that you didn't care about me. After all, I don't know why you suddenly fell in love with me, I I feel that I am not worthy of you anywhere. You were suspicious and perfunctory to me at the time, so I didn’t feel safe around you at all... Cheating, cheating... That's because I want to stimulate|provoke you... Let me see you Do you have me in your heart? If I slept with someone else, would you still have no reaction in an understatement..."

Hearing this, Shen Gu couldn't bear it any longer, and scolded directly: "Crazy!"