sunk into the earth

Chapter 25 Exit

When Cheng Sheng opened his eyes, he faced endless darkness. He almost thought he was blind, and called out to the people next to him in fear. He called out several times, but no one around answered him.Cheng Sheng had no choice but to get out of bed by himself, trying to crawl to turn on the light, but he forgot how he was tortured last night, as soon as his feet touched the ground, they were torn and hurt.

Cheng Sheng staggered and fell to the floor, unable to stand up for a long time.

When he finally endured the pain and turned on the light, he looked at the watch on the wall and realized that it was only four o'clock and it was still dark outside.Cheng Sheng looked around, there was no one on the bed, and Zhang Chen didn't know where he went.

Cheng Sheng sat alone on the hotel bed for seven or eight hours. The sky outside gradually changed from pitch black to reddish. When the sun reached its highest point, the whole sky became transparent again.Cheng Sheng felt that his night was just like the day outside. When he reached the highest point, he would lose everything and his whole body would become transparent.

In the middle, Cheng Sheng looked at the phone once, and it was full of text messages, several of which were even sent at the spare time, all of which were "Happy Birthday".

When it was almost twelve o'clock, someone knocked on the door, and Cheng Sheng sat up suddenly, still thinking that it was Zhang Chen who came back to look for him.

The people outside only knocked a few times, speaking in dialect, and yelled indifferently: "It's almost time, do you want to check out?"

Cheng Sheng was stunned for a long time before replying to him: "Back, I'll go down right away."

After saying this, he got up and put on his clothes in a panic. It doesn’t matter how much pain he has underneath. The meaning of pain is to enjoy it and show it to others. You have to endure it yourself.

Just as he was clumsily buttoning the button, there was a sudden sound of footsteps in the originally quiet corridor, and then the door creaked open.

Zhang Chen stood at the door, wearing the same clothes from yesterday, with a few abrupt bandages on his cheeks, looking extremely tired.

Cheng Sheng was still sitting on the bed, his shirt half buttoned and hanging on his body, looking up at Zhang Chen standing at the door.

The eyes of the two people met in the air, and Cheng Sheng gritted his teeth so as not to let the tears flow out. He didn't want to look like a resentful woman controlled by emotions, but his voice still trembled unreasonably when he opened his mouth: "You Where did you go? I thought you left me in the hotel."

"How is it possible." Zhang Chen walked over, leaned over to help him fasten the remaining buttons, and slowly explained to him: "I went to the police station in the morning to deal with my mother's affairs."

Cheng Sheng said "Oh" and looked down at the way Zhang Chen was buttoning him. The wound on his forehead was still obvious, and the fundus of his eyes was covered with black and blue. If you look closely, you can still see the capillaries underneath. sleep.Cheng Sheng was suddenly ashamed of himself for being self-pitying and obsessed with his petty love, and while Zhang Chen was buttoning him up, he asked about serious matters: "What will we do next?"

"Go through the process, buy a cemetery, cremate, and bury."

Cheng Sheng wanted to say a few more words at first, but he didn't know anything about these procedures, and he didn't ask the common-sense questions in his stomach after all. He didn't recover until someone carried him from the bed, looking shocked. expression: "What are you doing?"

On the contrary, Zhang Chen had a reasonable expression, "Back to you, you don't look like you can walk."

Cheng Sheng closed his mouth again, but this time he lay on Zhang Chen's back with peace of mind, heard his footsteps going downstairs behind his back, and leaned into his ear and asked, "Aren't you afraid of being seen gossiping?"

"If you see it, you will see it. Anyway, it won't be worse than it is now."

When checking out, it was the same two receptionists from last night. As soon as they saw the two people going up and down the stairs, they first gave each other a secret wink.Zhang Chen saw all these things, but he didn't care and pretended not to see them.

A receptionist went upstairs to check the wards, and when he came back, he had an extra slip in his hand. He wrote a few words on it, and then looked the two young men up and down several times. With a calm face, he said, "I used a bottle of lubricating oil in the room, and there is a fee for this."

As soon as these words came out, Cheng Sheng wanted to get into the ground, but he had nowhere to go, so he could only bury his face on the back of Zhang Chen's neck like an ostrich, and he would not even raise his head when he was killed.

On the contrary, Zhang Chen didn't blush and his heart didn't beat, he dealt with the front desk comfortably, and even turned his hands away to appease Cheng Sheng.

After paying the money, they go out.Yesterday's heavy rain stopped in the middle of the night, but today it was sunny, and the rain on the road had already dried up. Zhang Chen walked on the path as if no one was there, carrying the ostrich Cheng Sheng on his back. Many people looked at them along the way, but Cheng Sheng was always embarrassed to look up, that's all. muffled behind him.

Afraid that he would suffocate to death, Zhang Chen shook him tentatively, turned his head and asked, "I don't see that you are quite shy."

Cheng Sheng was provoked by this remark, and immediately raised his head to refute him: "We were like that last night, so whoever is not shy? And my mouth is full of bruises, which can be seen by others when I look up, how embarrassing!"

Zhang Chen actually gave a rare smile. He thought, there are many things that one person cannot afford, but there are very few things that two people cannot afford. Swim up to take a breath.

*****

Li Xiaoyun's funeral will be held at the end of August.At that time, the temperature in Yuncheng had gradually dropped, the wind was blowing fiercely, and the green leaves had begun to fade. In the two days before the funeral, the weather in the city took a sharp turn for the worse, and it was cloudy for a week in a row.

The funeral was simple, none of the seven aunts and eight aunts who worked in other places came, but the two of my family had a casual meal together, had two glasses of wine, and then went to the suburbs to buy a cemetery to bury the person. Back to the roots.

The people in the courtyard have an ambiguous attitude towards their family and never mention anything about their family. After all, the dead are the most important. Once a person dies, all kinds of embarrassment and contradictions will go away with the wind.

To some extent, Zhang Chen thinks this is the best ending. People should live casually. Pain itself is worthless. If he doesn’t want to live, then he won’t live. It’s just that he regrets his feelings for people. It was too late to understand, and I didn't even have time to say the last farewell words.

Almost all of Li Xiaoyun's funerals were arranged by Zhang Chen alone. Not only did Zhang Licheng not care, he even said to Zhang Chen one night before his wife's first seven days: "How about finding a stepmother for you, there are only us and the elders at home." How do you live?"

Zhang Chen didn't even lift his eyelids, "The household registration is with me, don't think about it."

Li Xiaoyun pressed a piece of paper under Zhang Chen's pillow, which explained a few things - our household registration book and real estate certificate are all in the hidden compartment in the closet, you should hide them yourself.There is a yellow envelope on the back of the desk in your room, which contains 1 yuan, which was given by Grandma Cheng Sheng.She also promised to help you transfer your household registration to Shanghai. I heard that the school there is better and it is easier to get admitted than here. Don't refuse, self-esteem is not that important, and it will not be too late to repay others later.

The last sentence is that you and Cheng Sheng are not the same way, so stop the loss in time.

Zhang Chen stood in front of his mother's cemetery for a long time with the letter and money that did not belong to him, then slowly squatted down and kowtowed to his mother a few times.

"I don't want to owe anyone anything, it's okay to take a few more detours, I rely on myself."

He also asked his mother: "Is it called love when a person always wants to be with another person?"

No one answered.

Zhang Chen continued to ask: "You all say that I am not the same as him. I used to think so, but only he can make me feel that the world is truly equal."

Still no one answered, this time Zhang Chen continued to ask questions, he stood up slowly, walked towards the police station with his shoulders slumped, he still had to be busy with obvious things.

Zhang Chen returned the envelope that had been tossed by several people to Grandma Li, saying that he didn't need other people's money, and he didn't need others to support him to move forward.

Grandma Li didn't even sigh this time, but asked him abruptly: "Who are you doing wrong?"

Zhang Chen could tell that Grandma Li was not looking at him right now, and probably knew what happened that night between him and Cheng Sheng.She used to like Zhang Chen the most, her eyes glistened when chatting with him, but now there is still hatred in those eyes. Between friendly.After all, everyone is animal nature, and the pity without threat is really fleeting. When the siren sounds, everyone will tear off the superficial layer of skin and go back to their camp.

Grandma Li did know what happened between them. Grandma caught Cheng Sheng as soon as he stepped into the house after that night. Cheng Sheng's face, but before his eyes moved to his face, he was so frightened by the large red hickey on his neck that his breath almost broke in his throat.Immediately afterwards, Cheng Sheng received the first slap in his life.

From childhood to adulthood, Cheng did not seldom beat him, but he only beat him in places that are not painful, such as arms, thighs, buttocks, back, and a dozen times with a broom. At most, there will be a few marks. alive and kicking.

Scholars don't like slapping people in the face, and slapping people in the face is insulting. Grandma just slapped it because this is her grandson, and she slapped him more than once. She scolded him as she slapped him, and her originally kind voice was raised two times in anger. "Cheng Sheng, how did you learn to be so shameless now? You are a boy, how can you talk about marrying someone in the future? Other girls want to know that you are being raped by other boys..."

She also found it difficult to say this word, and the next words were stuck in her throat for a long time before coming out.

Cheng Sheng didn't talk too much, he was much more silent now than before, he was beaten silently, and then went back to his room to study silently.But grandma was still worried, and put an extra lock on the outside of the gate before going out every day to prevent Cheng Sheng from sneaking out.

He was locked at home for three days, went through the textbooks for the next semester, and finished writing the financial system that was put on hold. During this period, Cheng Sheng went to the living room to practice drums with the disc for two hours. The beat was wrong, and the sound of the drum was so loud that everyone from upstairs and downstairs came to find them and knocked on the door loudly: "Can you be quieter? My children can't even do their homework at home!"

Cheng Sheng threw the drumstick away and stopped playing.

The old Nokia on the bedside table in the bedroom has been beeping for the past few days, and sometimes it was two young girls urging him to go back. Chang Xin said that the agency put her in a metalcore band that lacked a bass player, and the lead singer had a big black voice , She wanted to press the strings and run away when she heard the black voice of fearing that the earth would not explode, but she was the only girl in the band, and a few half-sized guys were embarrassed to attack her, so they passed by yelling.Chang Xin said that being a girl is great, but Cheng Sheng suddenly thought of Li Xiaoyun and remained silent.

Qin Xiao also made a long-distance call to Cheng Sheng, saying that he no longer intends to continue playing rock and roll, and as soon as Chang Xin left, the two of them would be left with an amateur boy who would play and make mistakes at every turn. Who cares?

Most of the time, it was Lao Cheng who called. He could be bombarded more than a dozen times an hour, but every time he was pressed by Cheng Sheng, and then he simply turned off the phone.

But he turned it back on just 5 minutes after it was turned off, Cheng Sheng was afraid that he would miss Zhang Chen's call.However, after he waited for two days, his cell phone didn't ring, and neither did the living room phone.

On the fourth day, Cheng Sheng jumped over the window and escaped. How could a mere lock stop Cheng Sheng?As Zhang Chen said, he can go wherever he wants.It's just that at that time, he still had some pain in his lower body, and his legs and feet were not smooth. When he turned over, he could only rely on his arms and hands to exert strength. Not to mention the skin on his hands was worn out, and he sprained his left foot in the last jump, completely becoming a A crooked fake cripple.

Cheng Sheng limped out, the sky had been gloomy for several days, he had long been used to it, and his mood didn't get worse because of it, it just hurt like a tear when he took a step, but he kept walking.He felt like the little mermaid in the fairy tale who traded a fishtail for legs, obsessively jumping on the blade for the sake of people in another world, one step at a time.

Cheng Sheng understood from this pain that this kind of thing can only be done once in a lifetime, and he no longer has the strength and courage to do this to the next person.

Just when he was about to reach the gate of the community, he suddenly saw a familiar figure, tall and thin, walking towards him slowly with a black schoolbag that Cheng Sheng was familiar with.

The two of them were getting closer and closer in the sunlight. The man had obviously seen Cheng Sheng a long time ago, but his footsteps were still unhurried, just like the man's usual virtue. He still looked indifferent when the sky fell, no one knew. It doesn't matter if he is real or not.

When he walked in front of Cheng Sheng, he took out a blue-and-white cover disc from his bag, on which were printed ice-sealed roads, black cross signs on a blue background, and blurry figures.

"I've been busy with family affairs these two days, so I took the time to make up a birthday present for you."

Cheng Sheng stared at the cover of this album for a long time. Of course he recognized it. It was just released in May, Radiohead's "OK? Computer".

Seeing him staring at the disc in his hand in a daze, Zhang Chen didn't take it, and didn't start to talk nonsense, so he explained first: "Don't you guys who play in bands hate pop music the most? That's why I chose this. "

"No..." Cheng Sheng finally came back to his senses and asked in disbelief, "How do you know it's my birthday?"

"You talked in your sleep that night, and you said it was worth it."

"Do you believe in dreams?"

"One day of the year is your birthday, and gifts are reserved for that day."

"Okay." Cheng Sheng compromised. One leg was straight and the other was lame. He looked a little funny. He was unwilling to ask, "Where did you buy it? This disc was only released in May." Released in Japan, where do you have the money to buy this?"

Zhang Chen stood in the sun, with a faint layer of light on the contour line, his usual unhappy look disappeared completely at this time, he said: "I have nothing to give you when selling second-hand motorcycles. .”

This album later won an award. Every 90s rock band’s album inventory has this disc. Cheng Sheng put it in schoolbags, on desks, on airplane luggage racks, in company computer cabinets, and in car CD players. The two songs, Cheng Sheng, were forgotten one by one. Later, I couldn’t remember what this album was singing. I only remembered that there was a song in it, wipe your tears. Today we are going to elope. I can’t run away alone. Sing a song for us both.