Spring Summer Autumn Winter

Chapter 54

Yang Siyuan learned to drive very quickly. He passed the second year of the second year. Maybe he felt that if he failed the second year, he might not have a good year, so he was very serious when learning to drive.

But he should have known that whether the year is good or not has nothing to do with Ke Er.

Grandma fell ill again, so Chen Limei took him back to her natal home. Yang Siyuan talked to his elders with a smile every day, but actually wanted to run away in embarrassment countless times.

Every time on the way back from the hospital, Chen Limei would swear, either at the grandfather who fed his wife indiscriminately, or at the brothers and sisters who refused to contribute money and effort.After listening to it for a few days, Yang Siyuan felt that only Chen Limei had a conscience.

One day, the two of them rarely had a rest, so they nestled in the house and ate fruit.

Yang Siyuan was very bored, so he asked casually, "Is my grandma seriously ill?"

Chen Limei lay on the sofa, squinted her eyes and said lazily: "This time it's a bit tough, I don't know if I can survive it."

"Oh, I should be able to. Wasn't it also very good last time, so I survived." Yang Siyuan said.

"So old, what's the point?" Chen Limei sat up and peeled an orange. "Come, eat an orange."

Yang Siyuan took it and ate a piece, his teeth were so sour.

"Do you want to go back? Let's go when she stabilizes." Chen Limei said wearily, with rare peaceful emotions in her voice.

Yang Siyuan nodded, and silently finished eating the sour orange.

After staying here for about ten days, they finally returned home. By the time they got home, there was no sense of the New Year. The Spring Festival couplets at the gate of the community were blown to pieces, and the paper lanterns in the compound were long gone.Yang Siyuan always feels as if there is no Chinese New Year.

It may also be because last year was too warm and happy, so this year is particularly deserted in comparison.

On the day he got home, he stood downstairs for a while, bought a box of small snowflakes like a convulsion, and went to the yard by himself at night to light them one by one.

Let's say it's been a year.

Years later, he took the third subject again, and passed it very smoothly, but he couldn't make an appointment for the fourth subject, so he had to wait until he came back from the summer vacation.

Yu Fei didn't seem to be going well, he was absent-minded during the driving lessons and the test, but he failed the third subject.

"Hey. Have you lost your love?" After leaving the exam room, Yu Fei didn't seem to care about the exam results, so he lit a cigarette and asked Yang Siyuan.

Yang Siyuan has long been calm about such topics, and replied: "Have I ever been in love?"

Yu Fei gave a "tsk" sound: "Unrequited love counts."

Yang Siyuan didn't speak, and ran to the side to buy a candied haws.

"I thought it sounded familiar when I heard you say it for the first time, but then I remembered it after thinking about it. The one you mentioned was from the previous class, right? It worked in a milk tea shop and fought with Liang Hao." Yu Fei explain.

As soon as he heard the word "Liang Hao", Yang Siyuan felt disgusted. He frowned and said, "Can you stop talking about Liang Hao. Wait a minute... how do you know that he fought Liang Hao?"

In Yang Siyuan's impression, Li Yu'an and Liang Hao didn't fight in No. [-] Middle School, they only fought before he transferred to another school. Did Yu Fei mean before?

"It was when I was in the third year of high school. Liang Hao's gang has my buddies, he said." Yu Fei said.

"When I was in the third year of high school? Where did I play? Why don't I know?" Yang Siyuan asked.

"Then I don't know, I seem to have found him in that shop. Hey, didn't you fall in love with him, why don't you know as much as I do?" Yu Fei sneered.

Yang Siyuan suddenly became confused, not knowing where to start to sort out.

When Li Yuan was working in the milk tea shop...was it the one related to him?

Speaking of it, it seems that it is not normal. Liang Hao, the kind of person who will take revenge, really did not trouble him later.

And there was one very strange thing, which he remembered very clearly.It was a small detail, but he still remembered it because he felt so inexplicable.

A few days after Liang Hao's incident, when he went to the milk tea shop to find Li Yu'an, he seemed to tug on his clothes, and then Li Yu'an suddenly resisted, as if he was afraid of letting Yang Siyuan touch him.

He was a little puzzled at that time, but he didn't think much about it later, he just thought it was because of Li Yu'an's personality.

But if you think about it carefully... At that time, Li Yu'an had already accepted him, and before that, when they were not so familiar, Li Yu'an didn't have such an obvious resistance.

Then why is he like that?

That kind of reaction...it seemed to be covering up something, as if he was afraid that Yang Siyuan would find out something?

What will he find out?Underneath the clothes... what could it be?

Could it be... an injury?

Thinking of this, Yang Siyuan went through it again, and suddenly felt that many strange details at the time had reasonable explanations.

Before he could fully digest it, he heard Yu Fei say again: "But I don't know why they fought again. Liang Hao usually solves the problem at once. Who knows what happened to them again."

Nothing happened to them...they fought because of me.

Li Yu'an beat him, maybe even got beaten for him.

Yang Siyuan's mind gradually became clear, and then a burst of complicated emotions flooded up, and he didn't know what to say.

There were anger, remorse, heartache, touch... and some doubts in those emotions - why did Li Yu'an do this?

"Yu Fei." He asked suddenly. "If your good friend angered someone, and that person would definitely beat your friend, would you hide it from this good friend and take the beating for him?"

Yu Fei is so smart, he can hear the whole story clearly at once.It was clear to the bystanders that after thinking about it for a while, he understood why Yang Siyuan was kept in the dark.

"Do you think I'm a prostitute? Think about it for yourself, if it's just a friend, would you?" Yu Fei sneered. "If it's just a friend, is it necessary to hide it? Anyway, I won't do it, it depends on what you think."

Yang Siyuan didn't eat any of the candied haws, so Yang Siyuan's hands were a little sore, and he handed it to Yu Fei: "Smoking is harmful to your health, eat more healthy ones." Then he left without looking back.

Yu Fei yelled something behind him that he didn't hear, and now his mind is full of what he just said - it's just a friend's words, is it necessary to hide it?

no need.Yang Siyuan thought to himself.

Even if he put himself in, he didn't think it was necessary.

Unless he likes him.

Yang Siyuan's pace gradually accelerated, and finally he almost ran.

Coming out of the examination room, he ran for 10 minutes and took another taxi before finally returning home.

The first thing he did when he got home was turn on his mobile phone to surf the Internet and send a message to Xu Linshuang.

"Are you there, I have something to ask you."

"Here, what's the matter?" Xu Linshuang quickly replied.

Yang Siyuan thought about his words, told Xu Linshuang about the matter, and anxiously waited for Xu Linshuang's response.

"This...not necessarily. If it's a good friend, maybe. Just such a thing, how can you tell whether he likes you or not?"

This one thing is not enough.what else?

Yang Siyuan seemed eager to get proof, and began to frantically search for things that might serve as evidence.

So he told him many details of their time together, including Li Yu'an helping him with breakfast, preparing milk for him, screening his homework, celebrating his birthday, celebrating the New Year with him, confessing his family background... and, He put together his painting and hid it, and was carried to bed by him when he was drunk.

It was only when Yang Siyuan told Xu Linshuang one by one that he realized that so many ambiguous moments had really happened between them, but he himself had never noticed it when he was in it.

Xu Linshuang was silent for a while before saying: "Let me be honest, the friendship between the two boys is largely not so subtle. I think he likes you."

Yang Siyuan ignored everything before, and focused on the last few words - "He likes you".

He held his breath, hardly sure if it was his fantasy or not.His heartbeat had already been rampant, and the blood flow in his body was also accelerating. In the winter, he suddenly felt hot all over, and he wanted to go down for a run restlessly.

Does he like me?

Thinking about it carefully, it seems that many behaviors are a bit like liking, but why did he suddenly leave himself?

If you like it, why do you have the heart to leave without saying goodbye?

It is also possible that Yu Fei, Xu Linshuang and his own feelings are all wrong...Li Yu'an has been cared by no one for so many years. Maybe he still regards himself as a friend, but he can't express his feelings?

But...Yang Siyuan's mind just cleared up a bit, but now he's confused again.

He is determined to find the truth, but is there any way to go?It would be great if he could ask Li Yuan directly, but he didn't even know where Li Yuan was.

Slowly, as night came, Yang Siyuan gradually calmed down, recalling his reaction in the afternoon, as if it was really just an impulse to catch wind and shadow.

What are you so excited about?Whether he likes him or not, is he guessing right?

Anyway, there is no way to know the answer, why should he think about it?

After calming down, Yang Siyuan only felt that he was ridiculous like a clown, performing on his own, but in fact there was no audience.

"...brainless." He scolded himself secretly, and then fell asleep early, but he didn't know when he fell asleep.

……

Li Yu'an finally compromised, brought back the painting, and kept it carefully.

He figured it out, since he couldn't forget it and couldn't be together, then leave it all to time.Although this feeling cannot be seen in the light, it is indeed the brightest part of his life, and he should have known that he could neither ignore nor forget it.

After struggling for a long time, he made a decision like this. Unexpectedly, he really didn't seem as sad as before.

If it goes on like this, maybe one day he will really be relieved.

Years ago, he paid off all the money he had saved for a long time, thinking that he didn't care, but people always had a good year.After going back and forth, he became poor all of a sudden.

But it doesn't matter, he doesn't need to buy new year's goods.

Fireworks and firecrackers are not allowed in the urban area, and when the big midnight bell rang, he didn't wait for the fireworks.There was no TV in the house he rented, so he didn’t know what was being performed in the Spring Festival Gala. In fact, he didn’t watch it last year, but at least he knew that there was a song called "A Thousand Miles Away".

For him, this day seems to be no different from the other 300-plus days, except that he is a little poorer than usual.

"Well, I want to eat dumplings."

He wrote the manuscript for a whole day, but he didn't wait for the fireworks at night, which felt like he lacked some aesthetics.He thought for a while about what he needed to do during the Chinese New Year and what he could do, and finally came to the conclusion that he could have a meal of dumplings.

He looked back at the small kitchen in this room. The tools and vegetables seemed to be enough to make a meal of dumplings. It doesn't matter if the filling is plain.

So in the middle of the night, he went to the kitchen to make some dumplings, but the filling was a little short, and there were a lot of dumpling skins left, which were finally put in to make soup.

"Uh, it's so salty." The hot dumplings came out of the pan, and he ate one, only to bite into a congealed grain of salt, which made him frown.

He really can't live a good life at all.

After eating a bowl of dumplings and a slice of soup, he warmed up a lot, and it was getting late, so he packed up and climbed into bed.

It's just that he drank a lot of hot soup just now, and now his whole body feels warm, and he can't sleep.

This person can't be idle, otherwise he has to think of something messy.

He remembered that during Chinese New Year last year, Yang Siyuan took him home, and they played paper lanterns, guessed lantern riddles, sang songs, and watched fireworks together.

He still remembers the lantern riddle—the answer is "An" when Baoyu is not here and the girl is here.

Thinking of this, he laughed.

Perhaps it was because he had already compromised, so he didn't force himself not to think about it, and when he thought about it, he no longer felt sad, but instead felt very warm, and felt that it was good to have such a period of time.

That should be the happiest year of my life.

Sleepiness hit him, and he was immersed in the memory of the intertwined snowflakes and lights, and slowly fell into a dream, with a smile on his mouth, as if he had returned to the previous days in the dream.

……

After that, he lived a similar life every day, eating, going to work, sleeping, and occasionally thinking about Yang Siyuan.

As calm as water, without waves.

Until one day in March, he met Chen Limei in a bookstore.

The weather was fine that day, and he was in a good mood. There was no one in the bookstore, so he helped Cen Huan take care of the flowers and plants.

When he was carrying the flower pot, he suddenly noticed that there seemed to be someone staring at him from the opposite side of the bookshelf.He tilted his head slightly, and saw that there was indeed a middle-aged woman standing there, holding a book in her hand, looking straight at him, with some surprise and hesitation on her face.

If the flower pot was still in his hands, it would have to fall down and shatter into pieces.

What kind of magical power does this bookstore have, so that both Chen Miao and Chen Limei can come here?

He originally wanted to dodge and ignore it, but Chen Limei kept staring at him blankly, and he couldn't escape no matter what.

In the end, he broke the jar, walked over and called, "Auntie."

It wasn't until he walked in front of Chen Limei that Chen Limei finally confirmed that it was Li Yuan. She closed the book and put it back, and subconsciously took half a step back.

Li Yu'an saw this movement, he lowered his head slightly, and stepped back a little.

"You... work here?" Chen Limei came back to her senses and asked.

Li Yu'an nodded and said nothing.

Chen Limei said "Oh", nodded and said, "It's fine." Then she pointed to Cen Huan who was watering the flowers, and asked, "Is this little girl your girlfriend? I think you two are fine."

"Uh, no." Li Yuan said.

"Oh..." Chen Limei thought for a while, looked around to see if there was no one around, and asked softly, "Then you still..."

She didn't finish her sentence, but Li Yu'an knew what she wanted to say, so he didn't nod or shake his head.

Chen Limei looked at him like this, took him as acquiescing, and said: "Xiaoyuan has gone to college now, I think he has made some friends, and Auntie doesn't mean anything else, that's right, Xiaoyuan has never been in a relationship. I don't know much about love and love, Auntie just hopes that no one will mislead him..."

"I have changed all the contact methods, and I will not take the initiative to find him." Li Yu'an said.

Chen Limei froze for a moment, then smiled and said: "Hey, I'm just talking casually. Auntie is not so feudal. Auntie still understands what is going on with this homosexuality, and I don't think there is anything wrong with you... It is our Xiaoyuan, he She is indeed a normal child, so auntie will inevitably be a little worried, and she didn't mean anything against you, so don't worry about it."

Li Yu listened quietly and said "Yes".

I don't think homosexuality is abnormal, but Yang Siyuan is a normal heterosexual.Why does this sound so ridiculous?

He didn't respond any more, Chen Limei exchanged some greetings, and he responded casually, and then Chen Limei left.

Li Yu'an stood in place and watched her go out, there was neither sadness nor joy in his eyes, as if he didn't feel anything about what she said.

He knew what she was thinking in his heart, so no matter what she said, he didn't remember it.

Disgusting is disgusting, perverted is perverted, she really doesn't need to say some high-sounding words, he doesn't care if she just speaks out her true thoughts, after all, even if she disgusts Li Yu'an, it's not worth one-thousandth of Li Yu'an's self-loathing.

He chuckled lightly, not knowing who he was laughing at, then turned around and was about to leave.

As a result, when he turned around, he ran into the store manager behind the bookshelf.

The store manager seemed to be looking at him all the time with complicated eyes.

Li Yu'an's eyes were very familiar, because Chen Limei's eyes were like this when she saw him about to kiss Yang Siyuan - uncontrollable shock and nausea.

Human eyes cannot lie, and as soon as Li Yu'an caught this look, he knew that the store manager had heard their conversation.

When the store manager saw that Li Yu'an saw him, he smiled like a cover-up, and then bent over to pack the books.

Li Yu'an didn't say anything because he had nothing to say.

The next day, he got a text message from the store manager—he was fired.