Spring Summer Autumn Winter

Chapter 42

The results of the April test came down very quickly. Unlike the past, this time because it was a multi-school joint exam, the ranking was also based on the results of all the key high schools in the city.In the usual exams, the scores of the two campuses are calculated and ranked, and the level of liberal arts in the East Campus is not as good as here, so in this comparison, Yang Siyuan's ranking is still very good.But this time there are more competitors all of a sudden.

This time only Yu Fei entered the top ten in the city, and Yang Siyuan ranked No.19.

In fact, it was considered very good, but the school leaders were not satisfied after all. A few days after the results came out, the director held a meeting with the students and teachers of the Peiyou class.

There were only a dozen or so people sitting in the huge conference room, which seemed empty, and any movement could be magnified countless times. Yang Siyuan hated such occasions the most.

The grade director came in frowning, holding a stack of papers in his hand.

"This is the university goal you wrote before." The director raised his eyes and said after reading carefully one by one.

The five students stared at the table without saying a word.

After the air froze for a while, the silence was broken by Dong Bubu: "How about this, Director, send this to them."

The director nodded and gave him the stack of papers.

Yang Siyuan took the note he wrote from Dong Bubu's hand and glanced at it.It's a bit ridiculous, he actually forgot which ones he wrote.

National People's Congress, Nankai University, Sichuan University.

Why did you choose these three schools?Hey, I don't remember.

Yang Siyuan took another look and saw that each of the three universities had a score written in red pen at the back, which was somewhat different from what he had scored in this test.

The director knocked on the table again, and said in a deep voice: "Well, about the goals you set, after we collected them, we checked the admission scores of these universities last year, and they were all written on paper. You should check it out for yourself first. , compare and compare."

Yu Fei was sitting opposite Yang Siyuan, Yang Siyuan raised his head inadvertently, and saw Yu Fei looking bored, secretly playing with the note.

What kind of university did Yu Fei write about?No matter what he writes, the scores should be about the same.

"You are all outstanding students carefully selected by the teachers. You are different from other students. There are special resources for you to make up lessons in the excellent training room, and the teachers have also given you a lot of privileges, so our grades are not good now. Where is the reason for going?"

The table is a bit old, and a small piece of paint has come off. Yang Siyuan picked it, and the result was that his nails got stuck.

"Yu Fei, you go first." The director called the roll call.

Even though he had been distracted all the time, Yu Fei was not in the slightest mess at this time, stood up against the table, and threw down the messy folded note.

"I don't think there are external factors. The teacher and the students who suffered from food poisoning did not do well in the exam." Yu Fei said decently.

The director waved his hand and said, "Food poisoning is something that will happen after the exam, so I can't think about it. Hmm... Yang Siyuan, what do you think?"

Yang Siyuan obviously wasn't as experienced as Yu Fei, so he hurriedly pulled his hand and cut the flesh under his fingernails.

"I...I might..." He rubbed his fingers, and the sharp pain came in bursts, disrupting his train of thought.

"It may be that the goal is not clear enough and there is no motivation." He imitated the tone of his classmates who spoke in the class meeting, and nonsense.

The director said "Oh", frowned and thought for a while, probably felt that the answer seemed to make sense, so he asked, "Is this your personal problem or do you all have this problem?"

Yang Siyuan was taken aback for a moment, recalling what he just said.

Oh yes, it's about goals and motivation.

Is it my own problem or the problem of all students?

Isn't the answer obvious?

"Personally." Yang Siyuan replied.

He doesn't even have a goal, how can he be clear?His eyes were completely dark, and he didn't know anything.

The director and several other teachers said a lot of things, nothing more than asking the five of them to reflect on themselves, and then not to give up.Back and forth, Yang Siyuan suspected that they wrote the same manuscript every year.

Back in the classroom, Yang Siyuan looked up at the countdown, feeling a little out of breath.

He didn't go to the training room for English class, but he didn't attend the class either, so he just sat in a daze in his seat.

What are you doing?It was less than two months before the college entrance examination, and it turned out that I didn't even have a goal.

Where does the motivation to study come from?

Yang Siyuan opened a corner of the curtain and looked at the new leaves shaking in the wind outside, feeling that the leaves looked like himself.

Tossed by the wind, watched by people, frantically absorbing nutrients to grow, but don't know what other choices I have besides becoming a leaf.

It seems that when he gave up studying art, he suddenly lost his direction.

A beam of light came through the glass, blinding his eyes.

A week later, another student entered the training room to fill Qi Ming's vacant seat. He was from Yu Fei's class, but Yu Fei didn't seem to welcome him.

"It's not many days before the college entrance examination, why come in at this time?" Yu Fei stood in front of Qi Ming's empty desk and said with a look of disdain at the student.

The man obviously understood Yu Fei, and didn't want to argue with him, just walked around him with the book in his arms.

Yu Fei stretched out his hand to block it, and said coldly, "Is this your desk?"

"Qi Ming has been out of school for a few months, can't I use his desk?"

"I can't." As soon as Yu Fei raised his leg, he sat on the table, and then raised his finger to point to Yang Siyuan's side: "You sit on mine, I'll sit here."

Yang Siyuan looked at the two of them silently, and finally waved to the student: "Sit here, the light is good here."

Yu Fei stared at him putting the book on his desk before coming down to pack his things.

After studying at night, the two of them washed up in the bathroom together.

"It's almost a holiday, don't you want to visit Qi Ming?" Yang Siyuan asked.

Yu Fei was washing his face, so he paused for a while, and let the faucet run smoothly without turning it off.He put his hands on the side of the sink, looked up at Yang Siyuan in the mirror, and said impatiently, "What am I looking at him for?"

"You like him, shouldn't you look at him?"

Yu Fei stopped suddenly, then slapped on the faucet, turned around and approached Yang Siyuan, and said viciously, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You think I'm sick like you?"

He is taller than Yang Siyuan, condescending, and the water drops from his hair will drip onto Yang Siyuan's forehead.

And Yang Siyuan raised his head slightly, and looked at him frankly, not afraid of him.

Yang Siyuan sneered, stepped forward again, and said in a low voice, "It's different, you dare not even admit that you are sick."

Yu Fei stared at him, remained silent for a while, then pushed Yang Siyuan away for the last time, took the toiletries and left the bathroom.

Yang Siyuan leaned against the wall, just in time to see himself in the mirror.

It's just that the mirror is a bit dirty, and there are still many drops of water, so he can't see his expression clearly.

……

After a few more days, it was finally the holiday.Although it was still only a day and a half, it could at least relax his tense nerves.

Unexpectedly, as soon as he got home, he heard Chen Limei say that she was going to grandma's house.

Grandma has a heart attack and was hospitalized a few days ago, so she has to go and take care of her.

"Are you alone? What about uncle and aunt?" Yang Siyuan asked while helping her pack her luggage.

"I'm busy. I don't know what I'm busy with every day. I don't know what to call me when I have something good. Now that I have it, I think of me when I'm in the hospital? Your grandma is the same. For this matter, I don't want your uncle to pay for it. Let the two My daughter is busy! I really don't know if this is my own!" Chen Limei scolded angrily.

"Then... how long will you be going? It won't take too long to ask for leave, right?"

"What's the point? Is it true that this family is going to be windy?" Chen Limei threw a piece of clothing to the ground.

It was as if she was not from this family.

Yang Siyuan touched his nose and remained silent.

Chen Limei set off early the next morning, and Yang Siyuan was still awake, but she didn't leave any note to instruct her.

It seems that this kind of situation is already commonplace, and Yang Siyuan doesn't care if she says goodbye or not.

I didn't sleep well last night. I didn't fall asleep until early in the morning. When I woke up, it was already noon, and my mind was groggy.

As soon as he opened the curtains, the dazzling sunlight burst in, adding a little life to the room.

what to eat……

Just one person can't eat much, so it's really troublesome to cook.

After thinking about it for a long time, I was not hungry anyway, so I just stopped eating and went for a walk on an empty stomach.

Taking a walk at noon is quite leisurely.

He has no destination, the county is only this big, and there are only a few places where he can go to relax.

Walking and walking, I found that I was walking the way to the park.

The park is not close, so why did you go this way?

Before he knew it, he was sweating all over, and his stomach was growling uncontrollably.

He looked up, and it was terrible.In front is the fried noodle shop.

It was lunch time, there were a lot of people in the store, and the waiters came and went to say hello, just like the scene of that summer.

Yang Siyuan squinted his eyes and looked into the store, and found that the waiter's uniform was still that of the little rabbit, but the ones worn by others were not good-looking.

He hesitated at the door for a while, and finally walked in, ordered a shrimp fried noodles and a can of Coke, finished eating without a word and left.

Before leaving, he lay down on the rocky beach in the park for a while and had a light dream.

In the dream, he was still in the fried noodle shop, he, Chen Miao, Fan Li, and Qin Ziliang were sitting together, and Li Yuan was serving them food.Everyone was talking and laughing, even Li Yu'an smiled slightly, looking at Yang Siyuan tenderly.

He didn't sleep for long, but after waking up, he still felt pain all over his body. This kind of dull pain was more real than in the dream.

He followed the old road again, made a big circle, and came to the alley of Li Yu'an's house.

The sun rubbed against the horizon and sank little by little, and the golden light paved a road again. Yang Siyuan stepped on his own shadow and walked into the alley until he reached a place where there was no sunlight.

He sat in front of the iron gate, leaning against the corner, motionless until dark.

……

Hearing that the rhododendrons in Changxiu Park bloomed very well, Cen Huan insisted on taking a few colleagues from the bookstore to enjoy the flowers one weekend.In everyone's eyes, she was just a child, bouncing around, lively and cute, so they liked her very much, so they readily agreed.Under such circumstances, it would be unreasonable for Li Yuan not to agree, so he had no choice but to go with him.

After all, Changxiu Park is different from the parks in the county. The area alone is much larger, and all kinds of flowers bloom around the artificial lake, competing for beauty and bustling.

Indeed, there was a piece of rhododendron, which looked like a flame at a glance, blooming vigorously, igniting a corner of the lake.

"I brought bread, let's sit here and eat some for a while?" Cen Huan ran to get some bread from the cart basket and said.

Everyone knew that she wanted everyone to have a taste of her boyfriend's craftsmanship, so they readily agreed.

There is also a rocky beach around the lake, and they sat on the rocky beach, chatting with the wind blowing across the lake.

"Well, the bread your boyfriend baked is really delicious." A person bit the bread and said inarticulately.

Cen Huan responded with a grin, her face flushed.

A circle of people also nodded in agreement, and kept praising the delicious bread.

Li Yu'an took a small piece, took a bite, and nodded slightly.

It's just polite, because he really thinks the bread is so-so, far worse than the alien baby baked by Yang Siyuan.

It's just that he doesn't know if it's his own subjective preference at work.

He didn't like to chat with them. After eating, he just sat and listened, and then stared at the lake.

Someone threw a pebble into the lake on the other side, causing ripples, which reflected the sunlight bit by bit, like countless diamonds sprinkled on it.

People's voices gradually weakened, and Li Yu'an fell into his own world, with only the breeze in his ears.

It would be great if there was another small pavilion in the center of the lake.

Rocky beach, lake surface, sunshine, gazebo...

It was a painting with hazy light and shadows and distinct colors.Li Yuan lowered his head and stared at his hands.

He left the painting by Yang Siyuan in that little room.

"Brother Li! We said we're going to watch a movie tomorrow, will you go?" Cen Huan suddenly ran over and asked.

Li Yuan came back to his senses, paused and said, "Uh, I won't go. I have something to do tomorrow."

"Oh... well, let's make an appointment when I'm free!"

"Are you still dating? Does your boyfriend agree hahaha..."

They laughed and made noise again, but Li Yu'an just smiled politely and didn't get involved.

The next afternoon, he took the bus back to the county seat, intending to bring the painting back.

After twisting and turning for two or three times, and walking a long way, he finally arrived at the alley in the evening.

Some small grasses emerged from the crevices of the roadside stones, and they were stepped on countless times, but they still grew stubbornly.

He walked into the depths of the alley step by step, as if walking into a memory that he had kept for a long time.

It was time to turn the corner, but as soon as he turned to walk into the alley, he suddenly stepped aside and hid behind the wall.

He saw a person sitting in front of the door in the depths of the alley, with his knees folded and his arms folded, like an abandoned toy.

His heart was beating wildly, his breathing was out of rhythm, his hands were almost trembling, he grabbed the bare wall, and almost rubbed his fingers to bleed.

After a while, he slowly turned around and leaned against the wall to secretly look at Yang Siyuan.

Yang Siyuan seemed to have his eyes closed, leaning his head on one side, as if he had fallen asleep.

He doesn't seem to notice it.

After realizing this, Li Yu'an calmed down a lot and took a few deep breaths to stabilize his mind.

After so long, why did he come over suddenly?

He must have found out about his departure, so how did he feel then?

Abandoned, betrayed, deceived?

Anyway, it shouldn't be a good feeling.

Could he have been looking for him like crazy?Can't sleep because you can't find it?

Did he worry about him, think about him?If not, why come here to wait for him?

Does he... know what kind of feelings he has for him?

Li Yu'an's eyes dimmed.

He doesn't know, he must not know.Otherwise, he would not come to him again.

This is the best, anyway, in his memory, he is still decent.

Li Yu looked at him quietly, and when he woke up in the dark, he hid in a small alley ahead, and only went out after he was gone, watching his back through the night.