Spring Breeze Crossing Guanshan

Chapter 19

In Hanwenzhai, just as the tall man in black came in, Guan Junchen stretched out his hand: "Sit. You came back quite quickly, you must have worked hard all the way."

Bai Suhan, the seldom-appearing second steward of the palace, obviously had a close relationship with Guan Junchen, so he was not polite, he just lifted up the hem of his gown and sat on the side seat, and only saluted Guan Junchen with his fists: "Everything is urgent, and we will travel day and night. "

"You tell me one by one."

"I have brought the snow-breaking tide that the prince wants. This poison came from outside the customs. It was brought into the Central Plains by the old man Hanmi a hundred years ago. It has disappeared for decades. If it weren't for the close relationship between my junior brother and the grandson of the old man Hanmi." , and determined not to be able to get it. Don't worry, my lord, the antidote for Duanxuechao is definitely not available in the palace. Dare I ask my lord, who is this poison going to be used on?"

The man in black flicked his hand, and shot a sapphire vial in front of Guan Junchen like lightning, but Guan Junchen stretched out his hand and took it lightly.

"Unless it's absolutely necessary, don't use it."

Guan Junchen didn't answer where it was used, but said directly: "Suhan, what's happening in Chang'an?"

"The sage ordered Birdy Lane to preside over the Pingnan King's rebellion case. There have been faint voices of discussion among the ruling and opposition parties. Our people in the third division are still available. If we are really no more than the third division by then, we can directly try it in Birdy Lane." The prince was involved in the case, and the court is bound to be in turmoil."

"Okay." Guan Junchen just said a good word, lowered his head and held the Langhao pen to write something quickly on the desk, then he narrowed his eyes slightly, looking at the four big characters "Gong Jing Su Ning" in the pen , Shen Sheng asked: "How about the last thing?"

"My lord, on the day the holy edict was issued, Prince Gong left Chang'an in cloth clothes and headed for Lushan Mountain in the south."

"What did you say?" Guan Junchen suddenly raised his head when he heard the words, his red phoenix eyes were instantly sharp as lightning.

"My lord...Prince Gong is over sixty years old. His Majesty has already allowed him to stay out of political affairs and live his life. Now he is riding a green donkey, accompanied only by Zhou Qixing, a six-fold palm master. The meaning is already clear. I dare not Rushed to contact Prince Gong again, but secretly investigated, and learned that Prince Gong left a note for the eldest son Guan Shanyue before leaving—"

"What did you write?"

"Under the east fence of picking chrysanthemum, you can see Nanshan leisurely."

With a flick of the Langhao brush in Guan Junchen's hand, a drop of thick ink soaked the word "Gong" on the rice paper, and a black patch appeared in an instant.

Uncle...

The figure of the old man suddenly flashed in his mind. As early as the year when he became the champion, the Seventh Emperor Uncle, who was the most foolish in the previous generation, once said a word to him with a smile.

"Cheng'er, to be a prince, Sijin is naturally necessary, but—"

When he said this, he paused meaningfully, and the next half of the sentence, Guan Junchen back then had only a half-knowledge.

But now, he finally understood deeply.

"But after ten years, you won't be able to advance. Remember, you have to retreat, don't advance. Thinking about retreat—this is the most important skill in a prince's life."

Think back, think back.

Prince Gong's life seems to be a romantic life, but in fact he is wise and foolish.

Ups and downs in the most center of power for more than 40 years, and finally no leaves are attached to the body, and the wind is heading south.

Thinking about retreating is a kung fu that he has practiced perfectly.

But when he retreated, he left the people behind him in the most dangerous situation.

At that time, Prince Gongjing of the four princes of Suning, the deepest and longest-occupied Prince Gong chose to leave Chang'an when the vortex of King Pingnan's rebellion was imminent.

And Prince Su is a die-hard imperialist, Prince Jing is timid and afraid of getting into trouble, and has been silent for many years.

In the three years of Chengde's life, Guan Junchen was the only one left to face the huge waves.

It's not that he hasn't worked hard on the word "retire". He holds the golden sword of avoiding death in his hand, and he should be the most resignable person in the world.

But he couldn't retreat because he couldn't put the people behind him in danger.

Guan Junchen looked coldly at the bleak autumn moon outside the window, but the smile on the corner of his mouth was slightly bitter.

He was struggling to advance and retreat, and it was difficult to sleep almost every night. He never said these helplessness.

Yan Chunxi thought that he was omnipotent and wanted him to protect him, protect Cheng Yixuan, and protect everyone in the palace.I want to make him become crazy about love in an instant and give up everything.

If he can't do it, he will be disappointed in him.

But what can he do.

In such a big Zhou world, the wind and rain are approaching in an instant.

Even just protecting that silly boy from the wind and rain has exhausted him.

But he doesn't regret it.

What he protects is not only the innocence and stubbornness of the boy who knelt in the rain for three days without water or rice, but also the innocence and stubbornness when he went west to the Guanshan prince's personal expedition 19 years ago.

Young people, without innocence, not romantic.

He likes that silly boy.

……

This year's autumn is coming faster than before, but only a few days into the autumn, everyone in the palace has already started to feel the autumn wind, and they put on thick clothes one after another.

Guan Junchen has been so busy since Bai Suhan came back that he hardly has time to talk to Yan Chunxi.

Only occasionally in Hanwenzhai, he asks the boy to tidy up the desk for him, study ink, and take care of some simple chores.

Yan Chunxi never had a temper tantrum with Guan Junchen as before, and spoke coldly with a straight face, and even seemed quite obedient, at first glance, it seemed that he had softened back to his previous appearance.

But the strange thing is that he has become more and more reckless in doing things on weekdays, often making some inexplicable mistakes, either he forgot what Guan Junchen ordered, or the tea was so hot that his mouth was scalding, it seemed that he had changed his way to quarrel with Guan Junchen.

Guan Junchen had no choice but to bear Yan Chunxi as young as he could.

But when he was studying ink for Guan Junchen that day, Yan Chunxi didn't know what happened. When he raised his hand, he knocked the whole inkstone to the ground with a "bang". The half-written instructions were completely ruined.

Guan Junchen squeezed the pen holder tightly, and couldn't help furrowing his eyebrows heavily.

He was already worried about the affairs of the court, but when he saw that Yan Chunxi had made a mistake again, he immediately felt that the young man was still making trouble for him at this time, which was really too hateful.

He felt angry, he couldn't help but put down his pen, and said angrily to Yan Chunxi: "Kneel down for me."

The boy in the white shirt lowered his head, his body couldn't help shaking, and then obediently knelt down on the ground.

"Say it yourself, did you ask for the servant's errand?" Guan Junchen asked sharply.

"……Yes."

Yan Chunxi was silent for a moment before responding.

"I agreed to the job you asked for yourself, but you kept messing with me here. Yan Chunxi, you don't know what's good or bad—because I dote on you, you can't stop throwing tantrums. I didn't So much patience is up to your temperament. You look up and look at me—you can tell me whether this job can be done. If you can’t, I have someone to take care of me. You go back to Heyuan to be yours Mr. Yan."

What Guan Junchen said later was not purely sullen.

He had always felt in his heart that if the young man said he wanted to be a servant, he would probably lose his temper with him, and it would not last long.

After these days, he more or less felt that it was about time, if he was asked not to hug Yan Chunxi for a little longer, he really couldn't bear it.

Therefore, after saying these words at this time, I actually hoped that Yan Chunxi would quit quickly, and could not help but wait for Yan Chunxi's answer with some anticipation.

The boy finally raised his head to look at Guan Junchen, his lips trembled slightly, and he didn't speak for a moment.

Guan Junchen couldn't help but suddenly froze for a moment.

He has been too busy the past few days, and has hardly looked at Yan Chunxi carefully. At this moment, he suddenly looked at each other under the light, but was shocked to find that although there was nothing heavy at all, after only a few days, the young man unexpectedly Sudden haggard down.

Yan Chunxi was at the prime of his life, and he was such a handsome young man. Even if he was injured earlier, he should have been brought back long ago.

But at this time, there was almost no blood on the fair face, the cheeks were pitifully thin, and the pair of round almond eyes no longer had the bright expression of looking forward to flying, and they even looked a little lost, and now they still glowed. A tired blue.

"I can do well..."

Yan Chunxi spoke softly. When he raised his eyes, although the expression on that face was still stubborn, there was a hint of grievance hidden in his eyes. He stammered a bit, and couldn't help explaining to himself in a low voice : "I, I didn't lose my temper, really..."

Guan Junchen was angry and helpless, and what was angry was that Yan Chunxi was still so stubborn that he insisted on being this servant. The two of them seemed to be stuck in this deadlock, neither moving forward nor retreating.

Helplessly, when he saw Yan Chunxi looking at him like that, and explaining something in such a low voice, he immediately lost all anger, and even secretly blamed himself for speaking too seriously.

He really wished he could rub the boy into his arms immediately, and quickly coax the little guy well.

But these words have already been thrown out, and Guan Junchen was a little bit embarrassed to get off the stage for a while, he "coughed" in embarrassment, and after a moment of silence, he opened his mouth and said: "Since you say no, I will naturally believe it, get up."

"Did you not eat well?"

Seeing Yan Chunxi standing up with the edge of the table, Guan Junchen picked up his pen and asked.

He was really concerned about this matter, but he didn't want to make a fuss by asking, so his tone was light: "A few days ago when I was lying on the bed with a knee injury, I saw that you still ate a lot, why did you suddenly lose weight these few days? That's it?"

"I..." Yan Chunxi lowered his head and cleaned up the mess on the table. After thinking for a long time, he said with some blank eyes: "I ate, but I ate less."

Guan Junchen sighed in his heart, he waved his hands, and said in a deep voice, "Go back first, eat more, and rest well."

"Thank you, my lord." Yan Chunxi didn't say much, he lowered his head and slowly exited Hanwenzhai.

Guan Junchen looked at the young man's particularly slender back, rubbed the center of his brows in distress, and then picked up the pen on the desk.

How could he fail to see that Yan Chunxi had obviously neither eaten nor slept well in the past few days, which made him haggard all of a sudden.

He didn't know what happened to the good Yan Chunxi, but the instruction at hand still had to be finished tonight, and he could only wait and think about Yan Chunxi's matter.

……

Guan Junchen didn't finish writing the instructions until late at night, and when he came out of the Han Wenzhai after having another private talk with Bai Suhan, it was already midnight.He was really tired, but when he was about to reach Liufang Pavilion, he suddenly stopped, hesitated for a moment and said to Si Yue who was behind him: "You go back first."

Due to his status, although Yan Chunxi's residence was arranged nearby by him, this was the first time Guan Junchen went there.

He went around to the back of Liufang Pavilion and walked a remote path. It was very quiet at night, only the rustling sound of the autumn wind blowing through the leaves.

When he opened the courtyard door, what caught his eyes was a small courtyard.

Under the clear light of the bright moon, the small courtyard was so deserted that no one could tell it was inhabited. The ground was piled up with withered and yellow fallen leaves in a mess, but there was no sign of cleaning it.

The door of the humble hut was wide open, and there was an old wooden basin on the porch, which was full of soaked clothes, as if it had just been half washed.

Guan Junchen naturally knew that his servant was not a spoiled young master, and he did many things by himself.

But he really couldn't imagine how that little guy was squatting there and struggling to wash his clothes. He was confused and wanted to walk into the house with big strides, but suddenly he heard a thin and weak voice calling he.

"My lord..."

When Guan Junchen lowered his head, he saw that Yan Chunxi was not sleeping soundly in the room at this time, but was sitting on the ground next to the ancient well in the middle of the courtyard.

Under the moonlight, the boy was wearing a thin unlined garment, hugging his knees and curling up into a small ball.

Guan Junchen's heart sank suddenly, and he almost rushed to the well in three steps at a time. At this time, he didn't even care about his usual grace and demeanor, and squatted down in a state of embarrassment.

"Xi'er, what's the matter?" Guan Junchen held Yan Chunxi's thin shoulders tightly. The deep ancient well in the courtyard made him feel terrible. He asked eagerly like a gun: "I don't feel well? Where is the discomfort? Tell me to take a look..."

Yan Chunxi shivered slightly in the night wind. The young man's face was small, and under the bleak moonlight, he was almost so thin that his cheeks had no flesh.

"My lord," he looked at Guan Junchen, and called out tremblingly, his eyes were full of fear, he stretched out his hand, and tightly grabbed Guan Junchen's sleeve like a life-saving straw: " I had a nightmare... I dreamed that the entire family of Yan's family was beheaded. My father, my mother...their blood was everywhere. I begged you, I begged you on my knees, I begged you all the time, but you just With a straight face, you told me to go away fiercely, you said that I was a lowly criminal slave, and you pushed me under the knife... I dreamed of a knife, and the bright light of the knife fell down, my lord, I was so scared Dare to sleep."

"Hee'er..."

Guan Junchen felt as if his heart was bleeding when he heard that, he hugged Yan Chunxi's violently trembling body into his arms, and gently patted the young man's back with his hand: "It's all fake, it's a dream, good boy!" ...Don't be afraid, don't be afraid..."

"It's not fake, you will..."

The young man huddled in Guan Junchen's arms. For the first time since he injured himself, he didn't refuse Guan Junchen's hug, but it was out of fear.

He shook his head violently, gasped for breath, and said stubbornly: "You will. I dream every day, every day I dream that you leave me under the knife, turn around and leave, just like the last time you left me Give it to someone else, you will, you will leave me..."

"I--"

Guan Junchen heard Yan Chunxi repeating "you will" sadly, he opened his mouth to defend, but his voice was stuck in his throat.

He should really be damned, he said that Yan Chunxi was ignorant, but he had lived to this age, but he had never thought about what the things he did to Yan Chunxi meant.

The boy in his arms had already lost all his relatives before he was an adult. He had never really thought about how he managed to survive at such a young age.

Like a lonely kitten, the little guy who snuggled into his arms thought he had been redeemed and sheltered. It took so much difficulty to regain a little interest and joyfully thought that he had found the light in the world.

But with that kind of trust, but he was cruel enough to give it to others to violate, ordered to be beaten by him with a blank face, and scolded by him like a dog, how desperate should a young man who has just grown up be, he didn't even dare to go think.

It was him, it was he who snuffed out the warm spring sun.

"Xi'er, trust me." Guan Junchen's voice became hoarse at that moment: "Trust me, I won't, never again, trust me, okay?"

"I dream about it every day... I dare not sleep, I can't eat, I spend the whole day next to each other, I really don't know when it will last..." The young man shook his head slowly, under the moonlight, his almond eyes were empty. With such a haggard face, he muttered to himself: "Before, I was angry with you and wanted to fight with you all day long, but it was actually better... There is always something else. Do."

"But in the past few days, the energy has gone down, and instead, it's scary. I know in my heart that I want to be a servant... But I feel boring, I can't get up the energy to eat, I can't get the energy to do things, I feel like I'm dead. I have no taste at all. I wake up every night and come out to look at this well... The well is so dark that I don’t know how deep it is. When I look at it, I always feel as if it is going to suck me in It seems that I am very scared, afraid that I will really not be able to live, I don't want... I don't want to be like that, but no one can say that I am in this world, and there is no one..."

As the young man talked, his body trembled more and more like sifting chaff. He seemed to be in so much pain that he couldn't control himself. He sucked in a big mouthful of air, and there was a "hissing" sound in his throat: "I hate myself... It's useless to be alive, I can't do anything, I look like a waste. You have already treated me like that, but I still want, want to tell you these things, there are so many things I want to say to you, want, want you to save me, I understand I know you don't want to, you don't care..."

"Good baby, good boy, I am willing... I am willing, willing to do whatever you want, I care..."

Guan Junchen's voice trembled with distress, he clumsily stroked the young man's shoulder, he was so horrified that he was completely at a loss, thinking that he was completely unaware of the turmoil in this little guy's heart, he just wanted to slap himself.

"feel oppressed……"

The boy's eyes were filled with the despair of a young animal, and his shoulders convulsed slightly due to the excessive trembling. He struggled to cover his mouth with his fingers, biting hard, and the blood came out from his fingers. Authentic: "I want to cry, but I have been enduring it since you punished me to kneel, I don't want, I don't want you to see me as useless, I don't want you to laugh at me. I have endured it for many days, and now, no matter what I can't cry, my lord, I can't breathe..."

Yan Chunxi was panting with difficulty, as if there were bursts of rapid breathing sounds from his chest.

He looked at Guan Junchen helplessly with big eyes, although he had already said that, but there was clearly no tears in his eyes.

The moonlight shone down, and the boy's shining pupils were as dry as a dry well.

"Brother Cheng, help me."

He buried his head in Guan Junchen's chest, mournfully: "Help me..."

The moment he hugged Yan Chunxi tightly, Guan Junchen knew clearly that it was over for him.

He completely surrendered to Yan Chunxi.

From then on, there was no Prince Ning, nor any slaves.

Between the two of them in love, there was no distinction between high and low status, and he willingly handed over all the power to the young man in his arms.

He is at the disposal of the one he loves.

……

Guan Junchen didn't say any more, he picked up Yan Chunxi and walked out of the courtyard.

Yan Chunxi didn't struggle, but hugged his neck as they did when their love was the hottest in the past, buried his face in his shoulder, trembling all the time.

"Uncomfortable, chest tightness..." The young man's voice was small, but it seemed that bitterness was overflowing from his chest as he took in breath.

"Little fool, you have suffocated yourself, cry out, don't hold back."

Guan Junchen lowered his head and whispered in Yan Chunxi's fair ear, and he returned to Liufang Pavilion under the bright moonlight.

Si Yue who was staying in the central hall saw Guan Junchen coming back with a boy in his arms, and couldn't help but feel a little bit astonished for a moment. You don't have to come here on errands."

He didn't dare to say much, although he felt that such an order was really strange, but he immediately bowed his head and retreated.

Guan Junchen put Yan Chunxi on his bed, and was about to get up to change his clothes, but the boy grabbed the corner of his clothes immediately.

Yan Chunxi raised his head and looked at him helplessly. Those almond eyes that were bright and bright in the past were now as dull as a lifeless puppet. Even though he was extremely sad, there were still no tears.

He was very stubborn, although he didn't speak, he just held on.

Guan Junchen bent down and gently held the boy's face.

Such a small face could even be held in his palm lightly and delicately.

"I was restrained by you."

Guan Junchen's voice was hoarse, he was helpless, but in that helplessness, there was a kind of heartache and pampering hidden.

"I was born as a prince and lived half my life. I have never bowed to anyone. Now that I am a prince, I was so annoyed when I heard you ask me to admit my mistakes to you. I thought you were really daring." , but now..."

Guan Junchen paused, he smiled wryly, and then pressed a kiss on Yan Chunxi's forehead.

His usual deep eyes softened little by little.

At that time, it was like a spring breeze kissing a budding peach blossom on a branch, a gentle and loving kiss.

"Now I'm listening to you—Xi'er, tonight I will admit my mistake to you."

"All the previous things were all my fault. It was my fault to send you to King Pingnan; it was also my fault to send someone to beat you and punish you to kneel down; There are thousands of miles of mistakes. Everything is my fault. The pain in your heart and the grievances you suffer are all because of my arrogance and arrogance. I make mistakes again and again. Now I regret it, really."

"In a few days, it will be my birthday. I was born 36 years ago in the late autumn night of the imperial palace. It was not a charming season. In the past many years, I have suffered a lot, even to this day. Never let up for a moment——

Xi'er, after walking for a long time in the cold night, even smelling the fragrance in spring would make me feel pain and fear. It took me a long time to understand.You have always been right, you are not a dog, you are not a thing, you are the spring breeze after the snow on a cold night, you are the tip of my heart, you are the person who is in love with me..."

The young man stared blankly at Guan Junchen. While listening, he tried hard to suppress the rapid breathing from his chest, but his chest heaved more and more violently.

Until Guan Junchen spit out the words "two love each other" in his deep voice.

The circles of his eyes turned red, and suddenly, "Wow", he burst into tears.

Guan Junchen had never seen Yan Chunxi cry like this before, his pale face turned red from too much force, the young man was choked up, tears flowed down with his nose, he was so embarrassed.

How hard it must be to cry like this.

Even Guan Junchen's eyes turned red at that moment.

Yan Chunxi covered his face vigorously to avoid Guan Junchen's sight, but tears still flowed from between his fingers.

It was too embarrassing for him to cry like this.

But he couldn't help it no matter what, as if the river had finally burst out of its embankment, and the torrential rain poured down like a carnival. He felt ashamed and relieved at the same time.

He has been holding back for a month, a full month.

The moment he never wanted to give in in front of that person, he held back all the tears in his heart, until he choked almost every day to the point of vomiting.Unable to eat and suffering from nightmares, he was on the verge of collapse.

He didn't even dare to think about whether he would be alive or dead at this moment if Guan Junchen hadn't come to look for him tonight.

Yan Chunxi didn't know whether he was strong or weak, and he still couldn't figure out many things at this moment.

But at the moment when he was cornered, relying on his strong desire to survive, relying on his blind intuition like a small animal looking for warmth in winter - he slammed into Guan Junchen's embrace again.

Like the embrace of fate.