Rich and negative

Chapter 119 Dream and Reality

Gently stroke the cover with your fingers, the blue-green color makes the eyes and hearts of those who see it feel comfortable.His fingertips paused for a moment and he opened the diary. He was very familiar with his own words, but they were very strange.

A lot of the pages in the middle were ripped out, and the tearing was ragged, not quite like what I would do.

But I knew that no one would touch this diary except myself, so I focused on the date on the last page, six days ago.

six days ago?It was the day I had a car accident.

I glance at my left wrist, maybe... maybe it wasn't a car accident.

With some trembling, I read the last few diary entries that remained.

Yin Xuan came to knock on the door today, but I didn't open it.Later Liu Zhihong also came, no matter what they called me, I still didn't move a muscle.

I don't want to hear anything they say.

I can clearly feel your breath, but they don't believe it, and I don't bother to explain.

"It's raining.

The fish tank accidentally broke and scratched the bottom of my feet, but you didn't care about me.

"It's raining.

My mother called the doctor again, I hate him, always say some inexplicable things. .

"

"It's overcast.

Don't you just don't want to see me?I am really an extremely bad person, selfishly leaving you alone.

Don't worry, wait for me. "

The diary ended here, and I was trembling so badly, I tried hard to pretend that I didn’t hear the words, and now it rang in my ears again and again, the last complete sentence of the gold-rimmed glasses.

"Finally dare to mention that he is not by your side..."

The pictures in my mind kept rolling, and my tears fell silently.I know, I can't lie to myself anymore.

That day, if I could, I would never want to recall in my life.

So create all illusions for escape, for redemption.

It was Yang Yuanming who was involved in the accident. When his car was turning around, it was hit by an oncoming truck straight to the side of the road.The entire front of the car was dented and the doors were badly deformed.I can't imagine the pain and how much blood he must have lost.Because on the other end of the phone, I was already stunned when I heard the huge collision, my mouth was shouting something hoarsely, and my head was full of fragmented images.

What have I done?

Why did I make that call?

"I'll go find you now, wait for me." He said while holding the phone, preparing to turn around.

On this side, I am full of joy, and I can't predict what will happen next moment.

If I knew, I would tell him not to look back and keep going down.

The farther away from me the better.

After the accident, I never saw him again.Because when his parents found out that the last call came from me, Yuanming's mother, who had always been very kind to me, became hysterical in front of me.

"Since you broke up with him, why didn't you let him go? Why! Ah, why did you tell auntie why? Auntie is only a son like him, why are you so cruel?!"

I couldn't understand what Yuanming's mother said, but when I faced his parents' eyes, it was as if all the ice skates had passed through my body, and all the blood stopped flowing.I shivered with cold.

"Auntie...I..." My mouth was trembling and I couldn't speak.

A hard object hit me, and I saw his mother's eyes of hatred and pain, and my heart was pulled and hurt.

That is Yang Yuanming's voice recorder, the one exactly like mine.

"We watched you grow up too. Uncle doesn't want to say anything serious. You also saw that Auntie is in a bad mood. You... please don't come here again."

I forgot how I left, and by the time I passed by, I was already standing on the street with blurred lights in my eyes, and I was holding the recording pen tightly in my right hand.

Thinking of this, I looked down at the gun in my hand...

Could it be that this is not mine, but Yang Yuanming's?

I hit play.

The first few verses are all the melody of the song, and the lyrical and melodious style is his favorite style in the later period.

Suddenly his voice sounded, and the moment I heard it, tears came down.

"I'm going back to China soon. I'm inexplicably scared. Maybe it's because I'm close to my hometown. I don't know how the weather is like in Chongqing... I don't know if you have a girlfriend or are you married? I didn't realize that I have been separated for so long... "

"I saw you today, Lin Yuan'er. Why are you losing weight again? I really want to ask you to eat more, but I can't open my mouth. I regret that I didn't hug you when we first met. I was a little nervous, and now it's too late to regret it .”

"I'm leaving here again. Last night I...I thought a lot, Lin Yuan'er, and I realized that I really did a lot of mistakes. I always thought I knew you well enough, but I don't. I just know myself. To be honest, I'm still selfish. At that time, I only thought about being together. I didn’t think about anything in the future. You must feel uneasy, so you left. Before I left, I confessed everything to my parents. I don’t regret it, and I don’t want you to come back. I I just don't want to be a deserter anymore...

So, Lin Yuaner, don't hate me. "

I'm sobbing.

In fact, I regret it more than anyone else, I hate it more than anyone else, how could I... how could I, the last sentence I said to him turned out to be...

"Yang Yuanming, you are leaving. I hate you forever."

You fool, how could you believe that I would hate you...

I gently unwrapped the bandage on my left wrist, and it looked like a year after year. The unhealed wound looked shocking.

I took off the drip in my right hand and inserted it in the wound.I looked at the little liquid left in the bottle and lay down quietly.

Is there any difference between illusion and reality?

If being with you is an illusion,

Then let me dream for another ten years, 20 years, 30 years.

"Far, far! Don't scare mom, okay?"

"Please let the family members make room, please wait patiently outside!"

"Far..."

My ears are filled with my mother's voice, I really want to say sorry, I really want to say that my son is unfilial...

The huge operating light was switched on, leaving only a blinding white light in my vision, and I fell into a coma the next moment.

I thought I would never wake up again.

I was tired and slack, my feet were weak, and I didn't have the slightest desire to survive.

But things in the world never seem to go according to people's wishes. I stared at the high ceiling in a daze, at a loss, and only the explanation was in my mind.

The mountains do not see the sea.

I laughed lightly, my voice hoarse.

Maybe living is my punishment, I resigned to my fate.