only care about this life

Chapter 13

The grandparents and grandchildren had lunch together, and Gu Jinsheng sat in the small yard with his grandmother to bask in the sun. The longan tree in the yard was blooming, followed by little white flowers that looked like stars, which were very fragrant.Grandma Gu asked Gu Jinsheng as if she remembered something, "Why didn't Xiao Zhou come? Maomao, it's your fault. Didn't you agree to bring Xiao Zhou over for dinner last time?"

Gu Jinsheng smiled wryly, "Grandma, when did I promise?"

"You child, how did grandma teach you? The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid by the spring. If Xiao Zhou hadn't sent you to the hospital in time last time, you child would have wanted"

Gu Jinsheng lowered his head and thought bitterly, this is not the last time, obviously it was six years ago.Six years ago, when Gu Jinsheng was a sophomore, the dormitory made an appointment with a female dormitory fellowship at the Normal University next door. Gu Jinsheng didn't really want to go, but just happened to feel a little pain in his stomach, so he didn't go to the dormitory alone.Unexpectedly, his stomach hurts violently, just when Zhou Ziqian called him and felt that his voice was not right, he insisted on running over half of the city and braved the heavy rain. Without saying a word, Qian went downstairs to the hospital with him on his back. After busy work, after being diagnosed with acute appendicitis and undergoing surgery, he even made time to stay with him.

Gu Jinsheng thought, it was probably at that time that he regarded Zhou Ziqian as a true bosom friend from a friend who met by chance. After he recovered from the illness and was discharged from the hospital, he and Zhou Ziqian got closer and closer until they were really together.

Grandma was still talking about Zhou Ziqian, "I think Xiao Zhou is a good boy, Maomao, get in touch with others more, Xiao Zhou seems to be prudent in doing things, you kid, you don't have many friends. Everything is hidden... With Xiao Zhou here, I can rest assured..."

Gu Jinsheng smiled and agreed to grandma, but thought in his heart that grandma still regards Zhou Ziqian as Zhou Ziqian from five or six years ago.

Grandma Gu looked at her grandson, although she was smiling, and although her memory was muddled, she saw that she had taken Gu Jinsheng for 20 years, but she felt that she hadn't degenerated at all. Although this grandson was smiling, there was no smile in his eyes. Looking at the lines of the bluestone slabs on the ground, he looked depressed.Because of Gu Jinsheng's family, Grandma Gu's most important thing is not Gu Jinsheng's studies, but Gu Jinsheng's character and attitude towards life.

Then he became serious, patted Gu Jinsheng on the head, waved his hand as if he had done it thousands of times before, and said to Gu Jinsheng, "Go, Maomao, take out the "Pushkin Poems" in the room."

Gu Jinsheng didn't understand what grandma meant, he obediently entered the room like he did when he was a child, and took down the book of poems with a yellowed cover.

There is a poem in it, Gu Jinsheng has been asked to recite it aloud countless times.

"Stand down from the tree, stand up straight, and read carefully." Grandma Gu said angrily.Gu Jinsheng looked at his grandma helplessly, but he could only hold the poetry collection in his hand, turn to the page that was fluffy, cleared his throat and began to read——

"if life has cheated you"

if life has cheated you,

Don't be sad, don't be impatient!

Calmness is needed on gloomy days:

Believe it, happy days will come.

My heart is always yearning for the future,

Now it is often melancholy:

everything is fleeting,

all will pass away;

And that is past,

will become affectionate nostalgia.

……

Gu Jinsheng stood under the longan tree and said over and over again, if life deceives you, don't be sad, don't be impatient... The mango tree and longan tree in the small yard are blooming, all kinds of rare potted plants The ground was filled with excitement and crowded.Gu Jinsheng just stood under the tree, chanting loudly.Grandma just sat there, quietly listening to Gu Jinsheng read aloud, listening, tilting her head, and fell asleep in the wicker chair.

In the past, when Gu Jinsheng was in a bad mood and was unhappy, Grandma Gu asked for this. She would not tell Gu Jinsheng the truth, but would let Gu Jinsheng stand under the tree and read this poem by the Russian poet over and over again. A famous poem.Until grandma asked him, "Are you feeling better?"

Only then did Gu Jinsheng nod his head, finally freed from the recitation task.

The fragrance is floating, the sun is just right, and it is infinitely bright.

Gu Jinsheng held the book and leaned against the tree trunk, looking at his grandma who was sleeping peacefully in the sun, he was too old to listen to him finish reading, and then patted his head and asked him if he was in a good mood.

He thought to himself, how can life deceive you, only people can deceive you.

I don't know if it was the effect of the dozens of times of poetry recitation, or because of returning to the home where I grew up and talking and laughing with my grandma affectionately, Gu Jinsheng felt a lot more relaxed.At least, when he bid farewell to grandma and Granny Lin and was about to take a car back to the city, when he saw Zhou Ziqian, his first thought was no longer to escape.

Zhou Ziqian obviously didn't even have the mood to go home and take care of himself. He was still wearing the crumpled clothes he had in the morning. When he saw Gu Jinsheng coming out, he hurriedly got out of the car window, "Ah Sheng, it's late, I'll take you back sooner."

Gu Jinsheng looked at the emaciated Zhou Ziqian and nodded, but he bypassed the passenger seat and chose to sit in the back row.The two of them were speechless all the way, Zhou Ziqian was holding back his words, he didn't know where to start, from time to time he looked at Gu Jinsheng's expression in the front-view mirror, the latter looked indifferent, as if he was just an unfamiliar taxi driver, No desire to communicate with him.

What Zhou Ziqian didn't know was that Gu Jinsheng actually had nothing to say.The seven-year relationship has come to this point because of the sudden derailment, he only has four words to sum it up—nothing to say.

One after the other, Zhou Ziqian went upstairs and entered the room. Finally, Zhou Ziqian couldn't help breaking the silence. He poured Gu Jinsheng a glass of water as usual, and asked casually, "How is grandma?"

Gu Jinsheng put the water aside and replied without raising his head, "It's pretty good."

The simple three did not bring any warmth, and the situation fell into silence and embarrassment.Gu Jinsheng ignored Zhou Ziqian, who had been standing beside him, and opened today's newspaper. He didn't know if he was reading it seriously, but he heard the sound of flipping through the newspaper in the room.

Zhou Ziqian walked up to him, and begged a little, "Ah Sheng, don't be like this. What do you have to say, can we talk it over?" The two rarely quarreled, and Zhou Ziqian remembered that Gu Jinsheng was a man who could not even get angry. Few people, most of the time, Gu Jinsheng is always lukewarm, like plain water.

However, the boiled water sometimes freezes, and Gu Jinsheng never quarrels with others. The only way for him to express his anger is to do his own thing, ignore you, and ignore you.Zhou Ziqian, who was treated coldly by Gu Jinsheng, couldn't stand it.

Gu Jinsheng put the newspaper aside, pursed his lips, and asked, "When did it start?"

Zhou Ziqian sat on the single sofa on the other side, crossed his fingers, and caressed, he had already made up his mind to tell Gu Jinsheng the whole thing, "It was more than three months ago, at that time, you were very busy. Once I went to a bar with some friends..."

Gu Jinsheng listened quietly on the sofa, as if Zhou Ziqian was just telling a story that had nothing to do with him.

"Sometimes you are very busy. When you are busy, we may not see each other for a few days. When we meet, it seems that we just eat and watch TV at home and then sleep... Sometimes I really want to find a place to relax. After all, it is a company matter. Most of the time...he, that's when we went out to play a few times and got to know each other..."

Every word, Gu Jinsheng felt that Zhou Ziqian's words pierced his heart with a sharp knife.

"Zhou Ziqian, loneliness is not the reason for your cheating." Gu Jinsheng suddenly interrupted Zhou Ziqian's words.

"Ah Sheng, we made an agreement from the beginning, and we will separate after the game is over. Last night I just wanted to break up with Cheng Jiazhou, but I didn't expect—" Zhou Ziqian hurriedly argued.

Gu Jinsheng recalled the ring he picked up that day, and asked, "Have you played to the point of buying couple rings?"

"That's Cheng Jiazhou's wishful thinking—" Zhou Ziqian didn't finish his sentence, but Gu Jinsheng punched him backwards on the sofa.However, what made Zhou Ziqian stunned and unbelievable was not that Gu Jinsheng hit him so hard that half of his face was numb, but that Gu Jinsheng, who has always been good-tempered and hard-spoken, would also hit someone.

Zhou Ziqian received a punch, but fell silent instead, clutching the place where Gu Jinsheng had hit him dejectedly.

Such a punch made Gu Jinsheng, who had been holding back all this time, heaved a sigh of relief, "Zhou Ziqian, I didn't hit you for myself, it was you and our seven-year relationship that hit you."

The voice was still as clean and clear as water, but with a deep sigh.

Zhou Ziqian looked up at Gu Jinsheng, his eyes were shining like broken stars, as if he was trying his best to endure all the emotions.

"It's not easy for us to go all the way. I thought that this is the way it is in this life. In this life, I just live a good life with you. What is life? Isn't it just two people with feelings who go around eating and drinking every day, and turn to the end. And live to the end, to the end. Everyone says, hold your hand and grow old together, isn't that what it is." Gu Jinsheng said word by word.

"Ah Sheng, forgive me this time, we still have to live this life, raise grandma with you, and walk the next road together." Zhou Ziqian said.

"What if I don't want to?" Gu Jinsheng asked back.

Zhou Ziqian was silent. He never thought that Gu Jinsheng would be unwilling. Even when he was cheating, he had expected this day. However, he felt that Gu Jinsheng had been with him for so many years. He had a good temper and a soft heart. Let go of his hand, unwilling, he never thought about it.

The two were speechless for a while.Gu Jinsheng took out his mobile phone and looked at it. It was not too early, he still had to wash the dirty clothes, tidy up the mess and go to bed.Zhou Ziqian originally wanted to help, but he went into the bathroom to help wash clothes, Gu Jinsheng put down his clothes and went to the kitchen; he followed into the kitchen to help, Gu Jinsheng came out of the kitchen again, and went into the bedroom without saying a word ...

In the past, when washing clothes, both of them could play around for a long time.

Finally, he finished cleaning up the house without saying a word. Gu Jinsheng saw Zhou Ziqian holding a change of clothes to go to the bathroom to take a shower, and he simply took his wallet and mobile phone to go out, but Zhou Ziqian stopped him, "It's so late, you are going where?"

Gu Jinsheng was pulled by Zhou Ziqian and refused to let go, so he said in a cold voice, "I'm going out for a walk."

"Do you hate staying in the same place with me so much?" Zhou Ziqian asked, Gu Jinsheng's face was already showing exhaustion. I've gone to sleep on the bed, so I don't have time to go out for a walk.

Gu Jinsheng kept silent, and now he really didn't know what to say to Zhou Ziqian.

Zhou Ziqian threw the clothes in his hand on the sofa, and pulled Gu Jinsheng back, "This house is our home, but your name is written on it, and if you want to leave, I will go, Asheng, where can you go? "

The word "jia" hit Gu Jinsheng's sore spot, his eyelids drooped, his eyelashes were spread out, and covered those beautiful brown eyes tightly, but the corners of his tightly pursed mouth made people feel stubborn and friendly all at once. persist in.Looking at him like this, Zhou Ziqian knew that this guy's stubborn temper was coming up.

"I'll go out, Asheng, take a good rest, don't think too much. Leave this matter to me, and we can still live as in the past." Zhou Ziqian said softly, for a stubborn person , the best way is to coax him with nice words, especially for a gentle person like Gu Jinsheng.

After all, Zhou Ziqian took his car keys, opened the door and went out.

Gu Jinsheng dragged his legs and moved back to the sofa, tightly closed his eyes, and put the back of his hand against his forehead, feeling cool, just like his current mood.He began to sit on the sofa with his eyes closed and chant, reciting dozens of times in the afternoon-if life deceives you, don't be sad, don't be impatient!Calm is needed on blue days...

One sound, one sentence, a voice as clear as water resounded in the room where he was alone, but what Zhou Ziqian said seemed to be still echoing in Gu Jinsheng's ears - we can still live as well as in the past.

In this world, there are many places we can't reach, too far away, too illusory, but the places that can never be reached are called the past.