lack of love

15 Confession

Habits are a terrible thing.

Zhong Qiran forgot that he and Yan Hao are still in an embarrassing period, so he subconsciously did such a behavior to stimulate Yan's mother.But it was too late for him to take it back, because Yan Hao gave him a real kiss.

"Woo..." The teeth were knocked open, and the tip of the tongue was numb from being sucked.Zhong Qiran's struggle gradually weakened, and he couldn't help but cooperate with Yan Hao's kiss.

It was their first kiss in more than two years apart.It seems like it's been a long time, and it seems like it should be.

Yan Hao finally understood what he lacked. Even if he didn't feel the emotion, his body would still instinctively yearn to get close to this person.He seemed to taste the sweetness from Zhong Qiran's mouth again, like rain after a long drought.

And Zhong Qiran seemed to have seen the flickering flame in Yan Hao's eyes.That's not an illusion.

After the kiss, the two fell into silence again.

Zhong Qiran pushed Yan Hao away, and asked what he had always wanted to know, "I don't understand. You are not...how could you still treat me..."

For normal people, losing feelings is an unimaginable thing.So Zhong Qiran didn't understand even more, where was the motivation for Yan Hao's obsession with himself.

Yan Hao said: "I just lose my sense of many things, not amnesia. I remember everything that happened before, but it just feels strange and unreal. If you really want an answer, I may not be able to give you. I can only Said, I may still love you, because I only have desires for you. Only when I see you, I will feel that I am still alive."

This is obviously not a confession, but it touches Zhong Qiran's heart more deeply.

He knew from a psychiatrist that most patients like this often feel that life is very boring, and in the end they either end up hurting others or self-mutilating.Only a few people can be freed from such a predicament.

Zhong Qiran couldn't imagine how much effort Yan Hao spent to come to such a conclusion.But he knows he's been working hard, where he can't see it.

Zhong Qiran was really touched, his heart was soft and aching, "What do you want me to do?"

Yan Hao asked: "Can we go back to the way we were before?"

"How?"

"Holding hands, kissing, hugging, making love. You only have me in your heart and you in my eyes."

Every time Yan Hao said a word, Zhong Qi suddenly felt his face became a little hotter.It seemed like he hadn't felt this way for a long time, and it was all for the same person.

When the two returned to the house, the atmosphere was different from before.

Yan's mother seemed to be a little angry, nagging in her heart, but she still pretended to be fine.She was facing the TV, but she couldn't help but peek at the two of them for any suspicious marks from the corner of the eye.

Zhong Qiran pretended not to see it, and when he thought of Yan's mother meeting the situation just now, he felt a little relieved.

He only has two weeks off this time, and he doesn't know how long he will have to wait when he comes back next time.He didn't know how to help Yan Hao, so he could only observe from the sidelines.

Yan Hao's current psychiatrist has been fired.The earlier doctor had another new client, but was still willing to provide additional consultations, just not for too long.

Yan's mother originally arranged to find a third one, but Yan Hao refused.

After Yan Hao's illness, it seems that he slowly began to have his own opinion.He didn't care about it before because it didn't matter, and he listened to his parents only because his ethics and filial piety from elementary school to adulthood have not disappeared in his heart.He knew that his parents would not harm him, but he didn't realize that what his parents gave might not be what he wanted.After going around like this, he seems to understand now that there is still something he can't let go of.

It's like adding some realism to an unfamiliar memory.He is slowly regaining the feeling from Zhong Qiran's body.

A week passed quickly, and Zhong Qiran had a general grasp of Yan Hao's situation.

He also heard about the cooperation between Yan Hao and the FT fitness company in country M, and he was very surprised.To him, this was hardly Yan Hao's usual style.

After all, he is a professional market analyst, and many reports and data can tell the problem at a glance.He asked cautiously, "Did you lose money?"

Yan Hao answered him honestly: "I lost it."

"is it a lot?"

"A lot." So much property that Yan Hao allocated to Zhong Qiran had to be multiplied by several times.But he didn't intend to let him know this.

"Is it because of me?"

If he was just confused and uncertain at the beginning, now Yan Hao can give the answer with certainty: "Yes."

Zhong Qiran was silent for a while, then asked again: "Can't we terminate the contract? Compensation for liquidated damages may be better than continuous losses."

Yan Hao shook his head, "I don't intend to do this. If it weren't for this opportunity, we might never meet again, and we wouldn't be able to return to what we are now."

Zhong Qiran suddenly felt that Yan Hao's sequelae were not all bad.For example, he didn't feel how sensational his words were, just like the confession in the courtyard that night.For Yan Hao, he may just express his thoughts intuitively, which is still the training program given by the previous psychiatrist.But for the listener, it is a completely different feeling.

Zhong Qiran blushed silently, then adjusted his state and continued to stare at the report to think.Even if it was to repay the other party's kindness, he didn't want to see Yan Hao continue to lose money.

Seeing that Zhong Qiran didn't persuade himself, Yan Hao asked again: "Do you want to help me?"

"Ah."

"why?"

"No reason. I trust you to judge for yourself."

Zhong Qiran spent the next few days looking at the market survey and questionnaire analysis that Yan Hao Company had done at the beginning, and found that the problems were all caused by consumers' usage habits and brand acceptance.Based on his experience in class and internship in country M, he quickly wrote a few plans and showed them to Yan Hao.One of them is to propose cooperation with gyms and adopt a trial method.

This proposal is relatively new.After all, fitness equipment usually has a high unit price, few companies are willing to do so, and it usually fails financially.Because in order to cooperate with gymnasiums in various places, it is necessary to purchase a large amount of equipment first, plus maintenance costs and personnel costs, it will be an expense.Regardless of the effectiveness, even if you want to gain benefits, it will be very slow.

Zhong Qi also knew this, but he thought it would be better to make the best use of everything instead of reimbursement.It's a pretty bold strategy, and one that's extremely risky.

Yan Hao also knew that the feasibility was not high, but he still took a second look.

The two-week vacation is coming to an end soon, and in two days, he will leave for country M.

That night, Yan Hao asked him to come to his room when he was free after dinner.Zhong Qiran thought that Yan Hao was finally going to talk about the proposal, so he didn't think much about it.

He took a shower, took the opportunity to sort out his thoughts, and knocked on Yan Hao's door.

Yan Hao also seemed to have just taken a shower, and came to open the door in his pajamas. Since it was his own home, there was nothing wrong with wearing like this.He turned sideways to let Zhong Qiran in, and when he closed the door, he locked it.

Yan Hao didn't deliberately hide it, so Zhong Qiran also heard the sound of the door being locked.He hadn't thought about other places at first, but now he felt something was wrong.When he turned around, he saw the man's sudden approach, and he was a little at a loss.

Yan Hao's statement confirmed his guess: "You are about to leave, don't you want to leave me a memory?"

"I thought... thought you were going to discuss..."

Yan Hao has been too quiet for more than a week, so quiet that Zhong Qi was completely defenseless.So he didn't expect at all...he didn't expect so soon...

"Didn't you promise me that night?"

Zhong Qiran was pushed back by him step by step, bumped into the table behind him, and knocked down a photo frame placed on the table.He straightened it hastily, only to notice that this photo frame looked familiar.

Above is a group photo of them.