lack of love

Chapter 11 Rejection

Zhong Qiran heard the doorbell, went to open the door, saw Li Qi coming, and let him in sideways.

He came to discuss with Li Qi when he encountered a problem in his studies.Although their research topics are different, Li Qi has more work experience than him, so there are many places for reference.

Now Zhong Qiran sincerely regards him as a friend, so he doesn't shy away from it.

After Li Qi entered the house, he looked around the place where Zhong Qiran lived, and joked, "If I didn't know that I had no chance, I would have thought that your invitation had other hints."

Li Qi really saw it, so he could say this kind of joke.

Zhong Qi didn't want to pay attention to him, but stared at the beer he brought and asked: "Your fracture is just right, can you drink so soon?"

"Don't talk about it, my winter vacation is wasted, I can only stay in the hospital, it's almost suffocating. I just have the opportunity to come here, so I want to buy it to celebrate."

"Celebrate discharge?"

"Celebrate being single."

Zhong Qiran smiled and stopped talking, thinking that he could go as he pleases.

The two seriously discussed their homework for a while, and during a break, Li Qi suddenly asked, "Why can't I?"

After three months, he only asked this question now. On the one hand, he felt that the mentality of the two had eased, and on the other hand, he really wanted to know the reason.

Zhong Qi really admired Li Qi, but that's all.He couldn't let go of Yan Hao is certainly one reason, but more importantly, "We are not suitable."

"You haven't tried it, how do you know we are not suitable?"

"I knew it from the beginning." Zhong Qiran analyzed: "Do you remember what I told you? I got married when I was in college, because of this I even gave up going to graduate school; and you are just the opposite of me, You can give up love for your career. So even if we are together now, we may separate for some reason in the future."

Li Qi paused and said, "You think too far, who can be sure about the future."

"This is the difference in our values ​​of love, so I said we are not suitable. Do you understand? What I want is not just a momentary happiness."

Hearing this sentence, Li Qi became curious, "Could it be that your previous one...has the same opinion as you?"

Zhong Qi suddenly thought of the past, so he was inevitably a little silent.But he still admitted: "Yes, for me, he had a quarrel with his family. Although he didn't reach the point of breaking up, he gave me a sense of security. Looking back now, I was too weak at the time, and I just wanted to avoid trouble, but His style is too direct and tough, and we all have our shortcomings. There is nothing wrong with being separated now."

"Do you still love him now?"

Zhong Qi didn't answer this question.

"Are you still in touch now?"

Three months have passed, and there has been no news of that person.Zhong Qiran didn't even think about it, so he replied: "No."

"That's a pity."

It's a pity that he doesn't know, but he thinks their fate should end here.Probably because of the past relationship, he didn't want to be alone tonight. He opened a can of beer and asked casually, "Do you want to stay overnight?"

Li Qi was a little surprised, he knew that Zhong Qiran's character was relatively withdrawn, and he probably didn't like to be disturbed, "Is that okay?"

"Well, it will take two hours for you to come here. Anyway, I have an internship tomorrow, so we can go to the company together."

"Well, I'll be staying here tonight." Li Qi deliberately asked ambiguously, "Shall we sleep together?"

"You think beautiful."

Zhong Qi didn't know that such an unintentional move would bring about different changes in his future life.

After the internship ended the next day, he and Li Qi parted ways.When he came home, he saw a person downstairs in his apartment who should not appear here, Yan Hao.

Zhong Qiran was stunned for several seconds, but he still hadn't reacted.

Yan Hao had already walked in front of him, speaking faster than usual, "I have something to tell you."

Zhong Qiran only felt that he looked haggard and impetuous, but didn't think much, "How do you know that I live here?"

Yan Hao didn't answer this question, but asked directly: "Don't you want to know the real reason why I divorced you?"

Zhong Qiran wanted to know the answer, but after waiting for a year, he didn't get the desired result.Now that he didn't want to be entangled, this person took the initiative to speak instead.

He looked at Yan Hao silently for a while, then shook his head, "I don't want to think about it now."

The lack of sleep and the eagerness to confirm the relationship between the two made Yan Hao a little anxious. He lost his usual calmness and didn't know it. "Zhong Qiran, I know you are blaming me."

Zhong Qiran said helplessly: "I don't blame you, this is the result of both parties' agreement after our discussion."

"Would you believe me if I told you I lost my relationship after the car accident?"

Zhong Qiran looked at him in shock and did not speak for a long time.

Yan Hao continued: "I don't feel the emotional reactions of other people at all. Even myself, I feel that I don't care about anything."

"Why didn't you say it earlier?" Zhong Qiran suddenly felt a little ridiculous, as if he was being played by someone, "Then why are you telling me now?"

Yan Hao didn't care about it at the time because he couldn't experience the preciousness of feelings at all, so it didn't matter whether he said it or not.But when Zhong Qiran asked such a question, he didn't know how to answer it.Said he regretted it?Or did he actually regard Zhong Qiran as a good medicine?Hope he heals himself.No matter what reason he said, Zhong Qiran would probably believe him.But when it comes to love, he knows he doesn't believe it.

Zhong Qiran didn't ask him for an answer, he seemed to have given up a long time ago, "I don't love you anymore."

When Yan Hao heard this sentence, he felt an inexplicable pain in his heart, "But are you still willing to have sex with me?"

"It's just to vent your desire."

Yan Hao suddenly felt his mind went blank, unable to think of anything.

"Yan Hao, we are over. I can no longer just revolve around you like before. I want to finish my studies, and there are still many things to do..." Zhong Qiran was explaining freedom, which he had not been able to complete before. sorry.But now it is impossible for him to sacrifice anything for Yan Hao, because the price he paid was too great.

Yan Hao couldn't listen to what Zhong Qiran said, he just wanted to know, "So you don't want to go back with me?"

Zhong Qiran shook his head and said, "Have you ever liked something so much that anyone would get angry if they touched it, but one day, you didn't care anymore, so you threw it away without hesitation. Feelings are not Things cannot be discarded at will. And this is how you feel to me now, throwing away because you don’t need it, and getting it back because you need it.”

"So, how do you ask me to promise you?"

The result of the last discussion between the two ended with Zhong Qiran's words.Yan Hao failed to convince Zhong Qiran, because he couldn't even convince himself.

He can kill the Quartet at the negotiating table, but loses completely in love.

Yan Hao can only return home alone.

What happened to Yan Hao later, Zhong Qi didn't know, after this separation, they had no contact for nearly half a year.

Until one day, Yan's mother came to country M to find Zhong Qiran.

Zhong Qiran was very surprised, because in his impression, Yan's mother was very stubborn, a proud woman who could not bow down to beg him even if she was beaten to death.And it turns out that a great mother can indeed endure humiliation for her son.Although what she did at the beginning was wrong, it can even be said that it was the result of her own hands.

If possible, Zhong Qi doesn't want to see her, but it must be a big deal for her to condescend to come over in person.

Zhong Qiran made an appointment with her in the coffee shop, and spoke first: "What happened?"

Yan's mother said: "If I remember correctly, you saved Xiao Hao once, but he actually saved you twice, right?"

Counting the car accident and the avalanche, it was indeed two times.Zhong Qi didn't know why she suddenly mentioned this, but he still replied: "Yes."

Yan's mother's expression remained unchanged, but her eyes were a little red, "Then he needs help this time, can you help?"

When Zhong Qiran heard this, his mind went blank for a moment, "What's wrong with him?"

Yan's mother had too many things to say and didn't know how to start, so she had to use the most concise words: "He needs you."