inexhaustible

Chapter 39 You have to make a decision

Afraid of being discovered by Shang Muxiao and the others, which would make the situation even more embarrassing, I originally wanted to return to the previous guest room, but in a panic, I walked further and further away, and completely lost my way in the house.

After wandering around for a long time, I found a half-open door in front of me, and the sound of the grand pipe organ playing came out from the door.

If there is music, there may be someone, someone... No matter who it is, at least it can show me the way.

I gently pushed the door open, didn't go in, just looked inside.

"anyone there?"

There is plenty of light in the room, with a whole wall of white rhombic windows. The clean and bright window glass reveals the snow-covered world outside. Oil paintings are piled up messily in the room. Audio equipment.

Behind the tall oil painting board, the long-haired "beauty" in overalls and overalls poked her head out when she heard the movement. When she saw me, she picked up the remote control and pressed the pause button.

"Why did you come here?" After one night, Shang Lu came back, and Fang Qinian changed into women's clothes again, becoming "Si Ying".

"Sorry, I seem to have lost my way."

"Come in, talk to me." He didn't show me the way, and retracted the drawing board after speaking, "If you leave today, we don't know when we will see each other again."

I hesitated for a moment, and finally entered the studio.

There are two large oil paintings hanging on the wall, one depicts autumn and the other depicts winter. The style is quite similar to that of Mei Zixun, but the use of color is slightly inferior, and it looks a bit dark.

"Actually, I don't know how to draw, and I'm not good at drawing, but Mr. Shang likes to watch me draw, so when he is at home, I will dress up like this and come down to draw." Fang Qinian laughed, "Draw The painting has become what it is now. Facts have proved that even if you are not good at something, it will be too real after more than ten years."

I came to him and glanced at his drawing board.In the rectangular canvas, on the white wool carpet lies a naive yellow puppy, which is the egg yolk.

"You draw very well..." Vivid and vivid, no one can't help laughing after seeing it.

"Mr. Shang doesn't like me painting these. He likes me painting flowers and plants, painting wind, painting snow, and painting all the elegant things that Mrs. Shang can paint." Having said that, Fang Qinian still paints the egg yolk with one stroke. The outline of the image is fuller.

He called Shang Lu "Mr. Shang" and Mei Zixun "Mrs. Shang". I don't know if he found out, but he didn't seem to regard himself as the master of the family.He always looked up at them with a low profile.

"You must be very curious about my identity." Maybe my eyes showed too much emotion, and he could see through my thoughts at a glance, "I am an orphan. I lived in an orphanage until I was 14 years old, and then I couldn't stand the depressive conditions there. life, escaped."

"But after escaping, the outside world is not very good. I wandered around, worked illegally, lived on flyovers, and picked up garbage. Can you imagine the days when you have to pick up other people's leftovers when you pick up garbage?"

At this time, it seems that nothing is appropriate.I didn't say anything, just shook my head.

Although he has a smile on his face and seems to have forgotten the pain of the past, I can still feel it from his few descriptions—he has not forgotten, and he still broods over those experiences, and his memory is still fresh.

I was born in an ordinary family with both parents and harmonious relatives. I am not rich, but I am not poor either. Before the age of 20, I was just the most ordinary group of people in this world.What he said is something I would never think about, involve, or encounter.

"One day, I was so hungry that I couldn't take it anymore, so I thought, arrest me, even if I go to jail, at least I have a place to sleep and have enough to eat, it's better than being outside." He mixed the two colors together , looked at the canvas for a moment, and made a deliberate stroke, "Then I smashed the glass of a car. That car looked very expensive at first glance. After smashing it, it kept screaming, and soon attracted the driver. "

"I didn't want to escape, so I stood there waiting to be caught. The driver saw that I was young and didn't know what to do with me, so he turned around and asked the boss. You should be able to guess who the boss is, right?"

"... Mr. Shang?" I guessed.

Fang Qinian nodded: "I was 17 years old at that time, I was a little shorter than now, very thin, and I hadn't cut my hair for a long time, so I looked like a girl."

"He didn't call the police. Instead, he took me home, gave me food and a room to live in, and corrupted my heart with all the things that seemed unreachable to me in the past. Three days later, he asked me if I should stay. Come down? He can continue to let me live this life, or even a better life, at only a small price to pay."

When he said this, I already had a vague premonition, which may be the reason why he is now disguised as a woman.

"He gave me a set of women's clothing, so that I will appear as a woman in front of him from now on. I thought he was very perverted and wanted to sleep with me. But he said he would not want me to do anything else, to men I'm not interested either, it's only because I look like his deceased wife that I made such a request. If I'm not interested, I can leave."

He tilted his head, looked back at his painting, seemed quite satisfied, threw the palette and oil brush aside, and stood up lazily.

"But look, how can I still leave?" He pressed the remote control again, and the paused "Fugue in G Minor" played again.He opened his arms and danced like a light bird in Bach's music.

"I've been pursuing this kind of life all my life. I'm willing to pretend to be a dog or a pig, let alone a woman." The smile on his face grew stronger, but it came from the bottom of his heart without any force, "So, just Became what you see now. You are the first 'outsider' to know this and I'm happy to tell you this, I've held it in for too long."

"Then your wedding is..." It's just a stand-in, why take the risk of holding a wedding?And what about that movie he made when he was 19?

Looking at it now, Si Ying's stage name should also have a deeper meaning.Si Ying, Si Ying, whose shadow is he missing?Is he really... willing?

Fang Qinian stopped dancing, a little surprised that I hit the point so directly, but still answered for me: "He and I 'married' just because he owed his wife a wedding back then, and he wanted to make up for it. You know, there are more than ten of them We have been together since the age of [-], and the day Mr. Shang was revealed to be married was also the day he quit the entertainment circle."

Of course I know, that was the big news back then, even if I am not familiar with the entertainment industry, I must have heard of it.

"He loves her like crazy. That's his moonlight, his goddess, the most beautiful red roses in his heart. He and I get what we need. Everyone in this family is different. It's normal, just get used to it." The last sentence is like a warning, but also like a relief.

This family is indeed abnormal, and it is so depressing that people can't breathe. Shang Yunrou may be the most normal existence in it.

But is the "normal" born out of "abnormal" really normal?

I rubbed the bridge of my nose, almost driven crazy by this family.

"Hokube, are you in there?"

Just when I was having a headache because of all this, Shang Muxiao's voice sounded outside the door.

I froze slightly and looked towards the studio door.

The wooden door was not completely closed, only a small crack remained, but Shang Muxiao didn't open the door to come in.

"He doesn't like it here, and he will never come in." Fang Qinian pointed to a French-style chaise longue in the corner covered with a blanket and placed with various paint pots, "That's where Mrs. Shang committed suicide."

The room was obviously as warm and bright as before, but I felt very cold all of a sudden, and tiny goosebumps appeared on my skin.

"I... I'll go first, we'll talk next time." I nodded slightly at Fang Qinian, and quickly left the studio.

Seeing that I really came out, Shang Muxiao frowned, looking extremely unhappy.

"I've been looking for you for a long time, why don't you answer the phone?"

I glanced at my phone, and after a night passed, it finally ran out of battery after receiving a large number of blessing text messages, and turned off automatically.

"The battery is out." I held up the phone to show him, "I got lost and walked here by accident."

His expression is loose, but still not very comfortable: "You stay away from him, I feel sick when I see him."

I lowered my eyes: "Can we go?"

"You haven't eaten yet, why don't you leave after eating..."

"No, send me back now." I interrupted him with a firm tone. "Or you call a car for me, and I'll go by myself."

He shut his mouth, said no more, turned around and walked straight forward.

I followed him, walking and walking, to the kitchen.

I stopped, anxious, thinking he was going to force me to stay for dinner again against my will.

Now the situation is worse than yesterday, it is snowing outside, I have no umbrella, no money, and my mobile phone is dead, I can't walk alone.

But I don't want to just let him push me around, I'm fed up with his being arrogant, I'm fed up with their family.

I turned around and found a direction that looked like a gate, and I was about to go there.

"What are you walking around? That's not a garage." Behind him, Shang Muxiao noticed my intention, and hurriedly grabbed my wheelchair, and stuffed the things from the refrigerator into my arms.

I looked down and saw a pack of milk and a sandwich wrapped in paper.

"Don't you like it?" He looked at me in a daze, thinking it didn't suit my taste.

"No." I shook my head and inserted the straw into the milk carton to fill my empty stomach.

On the return journey, due to the heavy snow, Shang Muxiao drove very slowly. After eating the sandwich, I was blown by the warm wind inside the car.

When I woke up again, the car had already entered the parking garage.As the vehicle stopped, I gradually became conscious.

"Hokuta, we're here."

There was a familiar temperature on my face, and I resisted the urge to rub against him, avoiding his touch.

Shang Muxiao slowly withdrew his hand, his eyes hurt a little: "Teacher, are you still angry with me?"

angry?Of course angry.But the main thing is not to be angry, and he will probably never understand that.

"You think I shouldn't be angry?"

"But I've already apologized."

He also couldn't understand that not all apologies were accepted.

I nodded and asked, "If Shang Yunrou asks you to break up with me, will you do it?"

He was startled and stopped by my question.

"Why do you ask?"

He didn't give an answer immediately, but asked my motives.Subconsciously, he was avoiding making choices.Because he himself knew very well that he couldn't give me a satisfactory answer.

I sighed lightly and said, "It's nothing, just take me out of the car."

I'm a little annoyed at why I'm asking such an obvious question.

This question makes no sense and only makes me feel more reconciled.

Shang Muxiao may also have a guilty conscience, but after that he seemed very obedient, sent me to the elevator, and wanted to send me upstairs again, but I stopped him.

"Let's go back."

I went into the elevator, and he stood outside, confirming to me again and again: "Are we reconciled?"

I opened my mouth, unable to speak, just smiled at him.

He seemed to have received an affirmative answer, and a bright smile appeared on his face, so bright that people couldn't take their eyes off it.

My rationality was not killed by instinct, but my rationality was killed by Shang Muxiao.I can't let this kind of thing happen anymore, if it goes on like this, sooner or later... sooner or later, I will be devoured by him.

Beijiao, you have to make a decision, move on, or stop here?

To move on, you have to have great patience, a heart that has been tempered, and endless love.But you may not get good results, just like rehabilitation, there will be gains without hard work.

At this point, your life will return to its original state, peaceful, lonely, and the same every day.There will be nothing to brighten your life, and you will live in darkness forever.

The elevator closed slowly, and I fell into confusion, not knowing how to choose.It's really hard.

Suddenly, without warning, Shang Muxiao strode into the elevator, leaned over and held my face, and gave me a short and hasty kiss.

After the kiss, he quickly backed out of the elevator and waved me goodbye.

I stared at him blankly, and the balance in my heart was completely tilted to one side again.

Instinctively hold the banner high, eager to try the difficulties and obstacles ahead.It is like a two-deficient brave man who wears simple grass armor and has no self-knowledge. He has no brains and no skills, and he dares to fight the dragon with all his blood.

Reason should be above all else.

Because when reason doesn't work, human beings become ignorant and delusional, and make themselves suffer.

I know it, I know it.But I also knew that no matter how hard I struggled, I was hopeless.

Maybe he is not mature enough, doesn't cherish this relationship enough, is arrogant and domineering, and has a lot of bad habits...

But no matter what the ending is, as long as there is a glimmer of hope, as long as his love for me is true, I still... want to give it a try, try to fight for a future for the two of us.

When I got home, the phone was recharged, and many text messages and emails popped up again.

Some students don't have my mobile phone number, so they send blessings via email every year and festival.

I clicked and opened them one by one, some will come with a card, and some will simply upload a New Year’s greeting video.

When I clicked on an email from an unfamiliar mailbox, I didn't think much about it. After all, there are not a few students who change their mailboxes every year.

There was a rather large video file in the email. I downloaded it and opened it, but the content of the video was quite different from what I expected.