dhibooks Chapter 003 I want to keep him
Chapter 003 I want to keep him
I stood in front of the counter of a convenience store, looking at the colorful cigarettes in the counter, and bit the soft meat in my mouth with my teeth.
"Sir, the total is 36 yuan. Do you want to pay in cash or by phone?" The teller turned the screen towards me and looked at me with a smile.
I rubbed the seam of my trousers with my fingers, took out my phone, opened it and scanned it, "Swipe the phone."
"Please brush here, thank you."
When I walked out with the bag, I couldn't help but look back at the counter.
Walking out of the convenience store, I turned into the vegetable market next to it.It is past ten o'clock in the morning, and few people usually come out to buy vegetables at this time, but I come here at this time every day, because I don't want to be mixed with fish, shrimp, crab, beef and mutton in a crowded vegetable market full of acquaintances. Surrounded by a pungent smell, I made a retching movement. I don’t want everyone who knows me to see that my first sentence is: "Xiao Qiao, are you in poor health? Why have you lost so much weight? ? Why are you so haggard? Do you want to go to the hospital? Do you want me to accompany you?..."
It would embarrass me, feel out of place, that I couldn't act like a woman and tell them, sorry, I'm just pregnant.
As much as I really want to tell them that, I can't.I can't imagine what kind of eyes they will look at me, I can't even believe that they still see me as a person, I think if I really tell them, they will find a way to send me to a scientific research center.
Walking around the vegetable market, I walked home with only enough green leafy vegetables and a little cold salad for two meals.
When I got home, I changed into loose home clothes, threw myself into the big soft bed, and stared at the ceiling in a daze.
It had been two weeks since my first visit to the hospital, during which time I went again and went to the doctor and asked him to do another test for me.The doctor, surnamed Sun, was in his 40s. He readily agreed to me, took me out of the hospital, and came to a private clinic to perform a B-ultrasound on me.
The instrument was wrapped in cold liquid and slid across my abdomen. Dr. Sun pointed to the small black spot on the computer screen that was only half the size of a little finger, and told me that this was the fetus in my womb. A strange feeling.
As a man, I never thought that I would have the opportunity to conceive a child in my life, but he actually came into my body.This child already exists in my body, fused with my flesh and blood, and connected with my veins. This feeling is so amazing, and it was only then that I really realized that I was really pregnant.
I stared fixedly at the screen, my eyes were moist, I thought, I should keep this child, he is my child, my blood, I should keep him, give birth to him, grow up with him, watch him Grow up until it grows into a towering tree.
Seeing that I was agitated, Dr. Sun comforted me and said, "Whether it is a woman or a man, it is a joyful thing to conceive a life, but you should control your emotions during pregnancy so as not to affect the fetus."
"I understand." I wiped my eyes with my hand and said, "Doctor, I want to keep this child."
There was no surprise on Dr. Sun's face, he nodded, "It can be seen that you are an emotional person. As a doctor, I choose to respect every life, but Mr. Qiao, there are some things that I have to agree with." Make it clear that you have to be mentally prepared."
"You say."
"The current technology is indeed very advanced, but nothing is omnipotent. It is dangerous for a woman to give birth to a child, let alone a man."
"Well, I know." I nodded.
"A woman conceives a fetus, and the fetus grows up in the uterus, but a man does not have a uterus in his body, you see," Dr. Sun raised his hand and drew a circle on the screen, "You also do not have a uterus in your body, and the growth of the fetus depends on a temporary layer. The thickness of the resulting pseudo-membrane is less than one-fifth of the normal uterus, so as the fetus grows, the life of the pregnant woman and the fetus will be threatened.”
I didn't speak, and Dr. Sun's words made me fall into a long silence.
To be honest, I was terrified of dying.Everyone thinks that special forces are not afraid of death, but in fact, we are also afraid of death, because we are the people closest to death, we have experienced life and death, and we understand the importance of living best. There are many people in this world who want to live but live under various artificial conditions Or loss of life in unexpected circumstances, this kind of grief only we can understand, so we don't joke about our own life unless it is necessary.
And now, I will face a crucial decision in my life, whether to keep him or give him up.
I was thinking, for this little life that I have never met, is it necessary for me to risk my life?
Dr. Sun didn't speak, just looked at me quietly.
I closed my eyes, and what emerged in front of my eyes was the scene when my mother left me and resolutely left when I was seven years old.In that year, I became an orphan without father and mother. My mother didn’t want me, and my father drowned in the river because of alcoholism. Overnight, I became a bastard that everyone avoided.
I will never forget the day I was sent to the orphanage.My aunt pushed me into the door, and I held my aunt's hand and cried, saying that I would be obedient and eat less, but my aunt seemed to have never heard of it, she pushed me hard, turned around and disappeared...
All kinds of past events flashed before my eyes, I raised my hand to touch my face, my cheeks were cold, Dr. Sun handed me a tissue, I took it and wiped it on my face, saying: "I want to Well, I'm going to keep him."
Dr. Sun looked at me kindly, "If you have already made up your mind, I will help you seek help from a doctor friend of mine abroad. He has been devoted to the research of male fertility these years and is an expert in this field. , I think he can give you the greatest help."
"Do I need to go abroad?" I asked.
"No need for now," Dr. Sun put away the instrument, and handed me some wet wipes, motioning for me to clean up the abdomen, "I'll send your information over in a few days and see what he says, I I will try my best to discuss with him to allow you to stay in China during pregnancy, after all, domestic food is better for you, but you may need to go abroad when you give birth.”
"I understand." I was grateful to Dr. Sun. Without him, even if I was a special soldier, I wouldn't know what to do now. "Thank you doctor, I will trouble you later."
After I came out of the hospital, I passed by the maternity and baby store at the door, looking at the exquisite children's bed in the window, and a set of beautiful and lovely baby clothes, I walked in by a ghost... Now, those baby clothes and that small bed are in In the guest room next to my bedroom.
In just a few days, I added a lot of baby products to my home, almost filling the cabinets in the guest room, but when I go to the street every day, I can't help but buy things I like and take them home.
After lying on the bed for a while, I got up and went to the kitchen to cook something for myself.I scoured a handful of rice, took a few leaves of side vegetables and chopped them up, and was about to pour them into the pot when the mobile phone on the living room table rang.
Since I found out that I was pregnant, I took a long-term sick leave by taking the opportunity of my suspension for inspection. The person who called me now cannot be from the criminal police team, so who could it be?
I went to the living room to pick up the phone, and the screen displayed an unfamiliar number from another place. I picked it up: "Hello, who is it?"
There was silence for a while, and a familiar voice rang in my ear: "Qiao Yu, it's me."
I froze for a moment, feeling a little dazed. The person on the other end of the phone was the father of the child in my womb——Shen Jialin.