Horse riding in the snow

Chapter 8

08

Luo Shengchao packed some daily necessities for Dai Xu's hospitalization, not too many, and Dai Xu had just returned to China, so there were not many things left in this residence.Guan Chi said that after two days, when Dai Shao's condition stabilized, he could be brought back to live. At that time, he would bring the people from the clinic to check him up on time and formulate a treatment plan.

It was the time when spring was warm and cold, and the phone automatically popped up a pop-up window to remind that there would be rain in the next few days. Luo Shengchao thought of Dai Xu's body that was still a little constricted under several layers of clothing, and his pale face, and couldn't help it. Stuffed a few more sets of clothes in the luggage bag.

When he was fastening the zipper, he realized that even the color of Dai Xu's clothes looked dull and old-fashioned, and he wondered in his mind that he must choose more beautiful clothes for him in the future.

A beauty has to wear beautiful clothes. Luo Shengchao made many of Dai Xu's clothes when he was dating in the past, almost all of them were blue or green.Dai Xu has fair skin and a handsome and tall appearance. Wearing this kind of cool-colored clothes, he looks calm and gentle with a bit of arrogance, which suits him very well.

It's a pity that those clothes in the past must be too big for Dai Xu to wear now, and they don't fit well.

After packing up his things, Guan Chi followed Luo Shengchao's wishes and sent him back to the hospital.A few hours later, the doctor in charge of Dai Xu said that the patient woke up for a while in the afternoon and ate soup and porridge. Although he still vomited a little later, he still absorbed more.

Dai Xu finally ate something after being in a coma for so long, which undoubtedly made Luo Shengchao heave a sigh of relief.Although vomiting was a little dangerous for that person's fragile stomach and heart, but things had to be prioritized, and now it seemed that at least parenteral nutrition, a means of lingering, didn't have to be used on him so quickly.

But soon Luo Shengchao realized that what Guan Chi and Xie Zihui said was true - Dai Xu couldn't eat anything, and it turned out that it was really because he was by his side.

This realization made him feel a little painful.

He can feel that they love each other, but if his existence can only make Dai Xu feel painful, is it really better to forget each other in the rivers and lakes like this?

But he was reluctant.It was really hard for them to walk this way. There is a saying that "the love is separated by mountains and seas, and the mountains and seas cannot be flattened." Now they have finally crossed the mountains and seas, and Dai Xu is already within his reach...

Xu Xu is just sick, and all illnesses will be cured.Luo Shengchao comforted himself like this.

Guan Chi sent him to the door and left. Luo Shengchao entered the ward lightly, and put the luggage in his hand in the corner.Luo Shengchao walked to the bed, seeing through the skylight through the curtain that Dai Xu's face seemed to be a little better than in the morning, and he didn't know if he was comforting himself.Dai Xu is too thin now, and he will suffer from hip pain when lying on his side, so he can only lie on the bed upright, but because of heart failure, he cannot lie flat. The head of the hospital bed is raised quite high, and the white The quilt barely hangs on his chest, and the quilt is so thin that you can hardly see the ups and downs.

The several tossings in the stomach and intestines during the previous two meals consumed him too much energy. When Luo Shengchao reached out and touched his cheek, he was still in a deep sleep, and he didn't know anything about it and didn't respond at all.So Luo Shengchao became bolder, reached into Dai Xu's quilt, and groped to find those skinny hands.

Those hands were wrapped in slightly rough gauze because they had tightly grasped the ceramic shards the day before.Fingers connected to heart, Luo Shengchao couldn't help contracting his fingers in pain just thinking of the bloody scene at that time, and even the expression on his face was a little distorted.

Dai Xu's hands are not small, and his fingers are slender and bony, full of strength. At this moment, he seems to be insecure, holding on to the bed sheet, rubbing the white so hard that it wrinkled.Afraid of his pain, Luo Shengchao replaced the sheet with his own hands, and gently surrounded the wet and cold with the dry and warm touch of his palm.

In the dimness, the knot between Dai Xu's eyebrows loosened, and the tight curve of the corners of his lips slowed down.

Seeing this, Luo Shengchao couldn't help showing his first smile in days.

After yesterday's rescue, the medical staff simply wiped off the blood on Dai Xu's body, but the long-term discomfort made the body sweat continuously. Luo Shengchao knew that this person likes to be clean. If he wakes up and finds that his body is sticky He would definitely feel uncomfortable, so he declined the help of the nurse Guan Chi had found, and took the initiative to drink warm water to help Dai Xu wipe his body.

He wrapped Dai Xu's lower body with a quilt to keep warm, and carefully unbuttoned the front of the hospital gown almost devoutly, digging out traces of intimacy from long-lasting memories.It's just that the chest under him is too weak, and it's almost difficult for him to find the shadow of the embrace that gave him a sense of security in the past.Dai Xu's long and withered hair hung messily around his collarbone and shoulders. Luo Shengchao gently brushed them away, and then without further delay, picked up a towel and wiped Dai Xu's hair.

In the spring day, even with the electric heater turned on, the temperature in the ward was still a little cold, and the wet towel in Luo Shengchao's hand was a little hot. The temperature difference caused a slight shudder to appear on Dai Xu's skin, and then his whole body trembled slightly.The trembling was obviously weak, but Luo Shengchao recalled for no reason the time Dai Xu went to the coffee shop in the company lobby to wait for him a few days ago. Shaking like a wounded deer.

How uncomfortable he is, how painful it is.Luo Shengchao repeatedly chewed on the memories like glass shards, and the knife he swallowed was enough to pierce his heart after just two encounters.

He was stunned for a while, and when he realized, hot tears were hanging from the tip of his nose, almost disturbing his sleeping beauty.

Luo Shengchao wiped his face quickly, and changed Dai Xu's clothes as quickly as possible after wiping his body, fearing that he would feel itchy, he brushed aside the hair that had fallen to his neck.Sunsets always come a little fast in spring, and after doing all this, Luo Shengchao could hardly see Dai Xu clearly. He was afraid that turning on the light would wake him up, so he had to take the soft light from the screen of his mobile phone to lighten the strands of hair in his palm with difficulty.

It can no longer be regarded as Qingsi.Dai Xu’s hair quality is very bad now, it’s so dry and yellow that it’s even a little uncomfortable to look at, the forks are very high, and it doesn’t feel soft at all. I don’t know if it’s because it’s too long and lacks nutrition, or because of depression disease.

Luo Shengchao sighed, and couldn't help but lean down and kiss Dai Xu's slightly cool brow.

Dai Xu was very resistant to other people touching his head, and Luo Shengchao could only kiss him when he was asleep.This kiss broke at the touch of a touch, Luo Shengchao lightly stroked his forehead and thought, if Dai Xu came to help with his hair, would Dai Xu be so scared?Or...would you be more panicked?

He didn't know if he could bear the answer.

According to the doctor's speculation, Dai Xu may wake up again at night, and if he is in good condition, Xie Zihui will come over to help him take another assessment.Xie Zi replied that Luo Shengchao's presence might affect the result of the assessment. Luo Shengchao obediently accepted the refusal, and went home to adjust his state after listening to the advice of the two doctors.

When he opened the door, Luo Shengchao even felt as if he had passed away.The smell of blood in the room was still very heavy, as if he wanted to present the nightmare of yesterday over and over again before his eyes. He fumbled for the switch on the wall to turn on the light, and what he saw was blood and debris all over the place.

His legs were weak for a while, and he didn't kneel directly while holding on to the shoe cabinet.

In the past two days, he only saw Dai Xu sober for a short while, and he was no longer able to communicate normally with him. Most of the words and sentences when he spoke were meaningless and messy apologies. Couldn't really hear it either.So thinking about it, Luo Shengchao's last real "contact" with Dai Xu was probably in this blood.

Luo Sheng glanced in front of his eyes, and suddenly saw Dai Xu who was holding the fragment and pressing it on his chest again, and his heart ached.There seemed to be a ball of cotton wool stuck in his throat, and it seemed that only by screaming could he breathe more smoothly. He staggered close to the place where Dai Xuzeng had fallen, and knelt on the edge of blood.

He wanted to make up, he wanted it too much, if he could turn back the time for 24 hours, he would be willing to sacrifice his life.

But not.

Luo Shengchao stretched out his hand, and picked up the scattered pieces of porcelain one by one into his palm.The originally light-colored ceramics are now dyed brightly by Dai Xu's blood, and they no longer look cheap as before, but it's a pity that the broken things are no longer precious and worthless. Not to mention beautiful.

Luo Shengchao took the pieces to the bathroom, rinsed them under running water, and wiped them with a wet towel one by one. Then, he spliced ​​the pieces together one by one according to the appearance of the little doll and the broken outline in his memory.He had long forgotten what this doll looked like, but the smiling face that gradually appeared in front of him still brought back some memories of him—the boy in his memory had a gentle smile and a spring light in his eyes.

Luo Shengchao smiled wryly.His eyes were red, and he held his breath to align the cracks, but he couldn't help shaking his body and shaking his hands when he found a gap that was so small that it was barely noticeable.The outline of the shattered porcelain piece was extremely sharp, and a cut was made on the soft fingertip in an instant. He stared at the place where blood gushed out quickly, and the pain was dull, not severe, but it seemed to be able to follow The tendons drilled into the heart.

He suddenly lost the courage to fight on.

He just pieced the little baby's head out, and just looked carefully at such a crack, and saw the incompleteness that can no longer be found. He didn't dare to think how many times he would have to face this kind of thing if he kept fighting like this. Irreparable shortcomings, how many times do I have to be reminded——

Dolls can’t be repaired, but people, isn’t it the same?

He will never be able to recall the exact appearance of this doll, just as he will not be able to restore the memory that has been somewhat blurred, and the person who has disappeared in the old time.Despair makes one's heart anxious, and it can also drain all one's energy. Luo Shengchao suddenly felt that the thorns in front of him made it difficult for him to move an inch, but he also felt that every piece of these ceramics was clamoring how he had hurt Dai Xu's heart. They were all clamoring that Dai Xu was as broken as he saw before his eyes.

He loves Dai Xu, he can't stand by and watch.But now Dai Xu fell asleep, Dai Xu protected himself in a thick shell, leaving him here alone in pain.

Luo Shengchao put the debris into the storage box in a daze, ignored the hole in his hand, cleaned the ground and his body, and then fell into the bed.He went home without supper, and it was early in the day, but he felt dizzy as if it were night.These three days were like a long and turbulent nightmare, dragging him heavily, making him unable to rest for a moment.

He felt so tired and wanted to cry. Although he wasn't as tired as Dai Xu and worth crying, he was so tired that he almost didn't even have the energy to breathe.

He didn't dare to think about anything anymore, he closed his eyes and let the tears flow from the end of his eyes, and then quickly fell asleep.

In the dream is the vague old year.Luo Shengchao recognized that this was when he and Dai Xu were still in college, they were still in love, and they were both standing downstairs in his house.

Dai Xu was wearing the gray-green round-neck shirt that Luo Shengchao had chosen for him. He had fair skin and stood upright. At dusk in midsummer, a rosy halo outlined his shoulders, gentle and romantic.Luo Shengchao saw that his eyes with tear moles were telling something vividly, and the two of them were silent while facing each other, so they understood each other's thousands of words.

Luo Shengchao remembered that although the two of them had moved out at that time, Dai Xu had to go home every month according to the family's request. Every time at this time, the originally quiet and independent boy would hold his hand and not let go. Silence is full of reluctance.

He is like a clingy and beautiful big cat, with his tail flicking gently, lying on the tip of Luo Shengchao's softest heart.He is not very good at acting like a baby, and he seldom even meows, but Luo Shengchao can see that he is seeking favor from him.

Now Dai Xu is no longer so coquettish.

Luo Shengchao stared at the untouchably beautiful person in his dream, his eyes were blurred by tears and refused to blink.

The lips of the young man from three years later trembled slightly, and a broken smile came out of his throat: "Xuxu, I miss you."

I really miss you.