Horse riding in the snow

Chapter 3

03

Luo Shengchao originally thought that after hearing such a resolute rejection, with Dai Xu's character of not wanting to bother others, this sudden and inexplicable courtship would come to an end. Only two days later, they went directly to his house.

In the past two days, Luo Shengchao was emotionally affected by Dai Xu, and it was difficult to fall asleep at night. He finally caught up with a weekend and wanted to sleep until noon, but was interrupted by the doorbell.He washed up briefly and opened the door. When he got up, his anger reached its peak when he saw the pale, thin but unconcealably handsome face outside the door. He raised his hand and slammed the door back hard.

There was a loud sound of "哐", Luo Shengchao felt his heart tremble when he heard it, and when he woke up, he realized that he had so rudely closed the door to Mr. Dai, and he regretted it for a while.There was no sound outside the door for a long time, until Luo Shengchao could not bear to lie on the door to look at the cat's eye, and then there were two hesitant knocks on the door again from the entrance.

Then came Dai Xu's probing voice: "Sheng Chao...sorry for disturbing you, can...open the door?"

Luo Shengchao frowned, and raised his voice: "Didn't I ask you not to come to me again?"

Dai Xu was silent for a moment, and then he seemed not to understand the meaning of the insider, and then said: "Can you open the door? I think, I just want to... just take a look at you."

He spoke intermittently, as if vaguely confused, Luo Shengchao felt a little weird to his ears, but when he thought that three years in a foreign country was probably enough to make the former top ten in Chinese grade become difficult to use his mother tongue, he felt relieved. Come.In the following years, whenever Luo Shengchao recalled the various reasons he had given Dai Xu in the past few days, he realized that he just didn't dare to admit that he still cared about him, and he just found an excuse to cover up in order to escape.

Considering Dai Xu's identity, Luo Shengchao finally opened the door.

In mid-spring, the days are getting hotter every day, but the clothes on the man standing at the door have increased compared to the previous few days.Dai Xu didn't seem to expect that he would open the door again, he was taken aback for a while, and then laughed like he did when he saw Luo Shengchao before.He smiled stiffly, as if he had carefully split the movements and put them together step by step. There was a little timidity in his eyes, which meant a lot of flattery.

Luo Shengchao didn't like his appearance very much, the fire in his heart burned a little bit more intensely, and an uncontrollable look of boredom appeared on his face, Dai Xu swept his expression into his eyes, and immediately felt as if he was being stung The general quickly lowered his eyelids.Luo Shengchao laughed angrily at his retreating appearance. He was the one who knocked on the door early in the morning to disturb people's quiet, and now he was the one who pretended to be a doormat. What is it?

"Did I bully you?" Luo Shengchao grabbed his arm forcefully.

Dai Xu shook his arms, looked up at the young man who was a little shorter than himself, and shook his head as if denying with all his strength.His hair was messed up, and a few strands of long hair that had been hidden had fallen out, showing the original dry and yellow texture in the sun.

Luo Shengchao frowned again, moved his hand down to grab the man's wrist, and led him into the room: "Come in and say, I don't want to be in the headlines yet."

Dai Xu pursed his pale lips and didn't speak, and didn't bring any strength to his cold wrists. He just lowered his head and was pulled into the door of day and night thoughts by his ex-boyfriend.

The last time Dai Xu entered this house was more than three years ago. At that time, the two were in a passionate relationship. In the living room where he is standing now, they spent their first anniversary together.

All the heat from kissing and hugging that year has now turned into the coldness of his palms. Fortunately, Luo Shengchao did not change the room too much in the past three years. From the layout in front of him, Dai Xu vaguely felt the warmth of the past.

The poor little temperature was almost enough to comfort him for the few springs he spent alone.

He was a little greedy for the smell of home in the air, and he didn't think to speak for a while, but Luo Shengchao, who was standing aside, didn't want him to stay for a moment, and said impatiently: "What do you want from me so that you don't bother me? I think what I said two days ago is very clear."

Dai Xu came back to his senses, turned his gaze back to Luo Shengchao, and silently made out his name with his lips.He smiled again, trying to keep his tone light: "I'm sorry... I know, many things are... sorry."

"You should reject me, but I don't want to give up." He blinked, his eyes seemed to be slightly red, "You said you would love me forever... so can you try again? I made a mistake first, so I don't need to love, Just accept it and try it, can you give it a try?"

Luo Shengchao found that now Dai Xu not only couldn't understand other people's words, but what he said was also difficult for others to understand, but fortunately the other party's meaning was clear enough, and the phrase "love him forever" was like a bell in his memory, which lasted for a long time. ringing.

That was the promise they made to each other on the first anniversary. In the depths of their love, the sweetness of the honey was mixed, and the sweetness of the two of them matched the sweetness of the other. In the sofa chair beside them, Luo Shengchao once half-sat in Dai Xu's On his lap, he swears like this while bowing his head and kissing him.

Luo Shengchao, 20, said, Dai Xu, I will always love you.

The betrayer takes the lead in asking for forgiveness from past love stories. This plot may not even be able to be staged in the three vulgar dramas.Luo Shengchao was so angry at his shamelessness that his ears hummed a little when tears came out.

"Dai Xu...you still have the face, you still have the face to mention..." His voice trembled until it was broken, and he pointed at the tip of Dai Xu's nose, "You also know that I love you so much, what have you done? You fucking love Who went?!"

"You fell in love with Zheng Wangxing." Zheng Wangxing was Dai Xu's cheating partner three years ago. They were two common juniors in college. When Luo Shengchao caught them, Dai Xu was wearing a nightgown and hugging Zheng Wangxing's shoulders from the big bed room in the hotel. out.

"Okay, let's not chatter about feelings or love." Luo Shengchao said coldly, "Do you know what this is? Young Master Dai, this is you stepping on my face and riding on my head. You tell me now... let me love you? Why should I?"

His voice and words were too sharp, Dai Xu resisted the urge to rub his chest, opened and closed his lips, and only uttered a very soft sentence "I will always love you too", which was soon replaced by a weak breath.His heart is already very fragile now, and the congenital sporadic acute heart failure has turned into permanent second-level heart failure. The attending doctor seems to have told him that the situation is already very dangerous, and there is a tendency to transition to third-level, but Dai Xu is confused. The brain has long been unable to remember these messy little things...

At this moment, he only hoped that Luo Shengchao would not despise him.

He tried his best to hold back the desire to gasp for breath, pinching the flesh in his palm feebly with his fingertips, trying to exchange the pain for more clarity.His eyes were still so beautiful, his eyelashes fluttered slowly up and down, one by one covering the pupils that were already a little distracted.

I love you forever and always.

This sentence circled in his mind over and over again, but his stiff lips and tongue couldn't piece together such a simple line of words. He was so anxious that he was sweating coldly, completely unable to maintain the elegant clothes of a rich boy on the surface, and trembling hands untied the heavy Buttoning the windbreaker, a small thing the size of a palm was taken out of the inner pocket.

It was a porcelain doll with a very simple style, a round head and a fat body, with a blue bow tied around its neck.The doll has a naive smile, but the production is really crude, and even the colors are rough.

But Dai Xu seemed to be holding some rare treasure, carefully holding it out inch by inch.

When Luo Shengchao saw this porcelain doll, he couldn't help being stunned for a moment, and then the tears that had been barely contained burst down again——

Not only did Dai Xu always say something heart-wrenching, but he even took out a souvenir between the two of them to remind him...

Remind him that Dai Xu once loved him so purely.

It was a small gift that Dai Xu won for him from a shooting game three years ago when the two went to the playground. At that time, Luo Shengchao was unwilling to hurt Dai Xu's self-esteem. porcelain dolls.

Dai Xu, who had short hair that year, looked at him for a while, smiled, and picked up the toy rifle with a "hmm".His hand holding the gun was steady, white and thin with veins, holding the dark handle of the gun, revealing a trace of solemn desire silently, which formed a contrast with his pretty face.

Luo Shengchao was stunned, watching Dai Xu hit the target steadily while breathing.Most of his bullets were still useless, and the owner of the game store might also be worried that he would lose money, so he stood aside and refused to speak. Dai Xu didn't make things difficult for him, and put the gun and the remaining bullets back on the table with a smile.

"Excuse me, I want that porcelain doll, can I?"

Seeing that he withdrew his hand, the boss naturally said yes, and hurriedly took out the porcelain doll from the showcase for him, and handed it to him.

So Dai Xu took the doll and came to Luo Shengchao like a Maine Coon cat showing off its prey to its owner.Those soft, upturned eyes looked at Luo Shengchao silently, but they were full of love.

Luo Shengchao took the doll, stared and asked him why he could play with guns.

Dai Xu sneered, and asked him if he had forgotten what his family did?

Luo Shengchao slapped his forehead, yes, a military family.

Dai Xu blocked the eyes of others, and secretly rubbed Luo Shengchao's ears: "I went to join the army when I was 16 years old... Although my father asked me to go, I unexpectedly found that I also like it, but because of my physical condition The reason... left soon."

"So if you want other prizes, I can win them for you too. For you... I will try my best to do anything."

The frank and gentle love words in memory are now covered with spikes, and the slightest touch will make people drip with blood.Luo Shengchao snatched the porcelain doll from his hand, closed his fingers, and was dazzled by the surging hatred.

Why?Why is this wounder still so brazenly mentioning these rotten flesh and scars that he couldn't remove?

Why is it that I am the only one who dare not touch that unbearable part?

For Dai Xu, everything is not painful or itchy? !

His teeth chattered with hatred, his eyes turned black, and he raised his hand holding the doll high up.

Dai Xu, who was as slow as Dai Xu, was instantly aroused to be vigilant, and his face was immediately filled with panic.

"Don't, don't, Sheng Chao..." A hoarse voice came out of his throat, Dai Xu immediately ignored the embarrassing identities of the two and their past, and reached out to grab Luo Shengchao's wrist to snatch the doll back. But he was clearly still flustered, he didn't have much strength at all at the moment, he could only let his clammy fingers hang limply on Luo Shengchao's wrist.The oppression and pain that suddenly exploded in his chest made him groan, his hands and feet lost strength in a few breaths, and he knelt straight down when he bent his knees.

Luo Shengchao broke free from his shackles, and retained the last sliver of reason with years of cultivation, and did not throw the doll directly in Dai Xu's face.He felt as if he was in a double sky of ice and fire, his face, eyes, and even his breath were as cold as ice, but his chest, heart and lungs were indeed burning with anger.

He raised his hand and slammed the porcelain doll to the ground.

The crisp sound of "pa" seemed to have pierced Dai Xu's heart with a sharp knife. His pupils shrank and he couldn't help retching. At that moment, he even thought that he would spit out a mouthful of blood the next moment.

The white porcelain fragments were scattered all over the ground, Dai Xu dragged his body forward with hands and feet, holding the fragments in his palm with difficulty.The sharp edge of the broken porcelain quickly drew blood on his hand, but he didn't know it, just knelt on the ground, and shed tears all over his face amidst the sudden serious shortness of breath and heart palpitations.Luo Shengchao didn't know that this porcelain doll was not just a souvenir, but the only spiritual sustenance left by Dai Xu in the past three years.

It's like Dai Xu walking on the iron wire of a high cliff, but if he turns his body, he will be doomed...but it is also boundless freedom.

Dai Xu's acute heart failure was triggered, and angina pectoris followed. He knelt on the ground, unable to move, and could only press the fragments on his painful heart.He couldn't tell where the pain was, the pain in his heart had already become the background color, the wound in his palm was painful, and the physical pain that permeated his limbs swept over again, leaving him with only a little hopeless starlight. His eyes became more cloudy and scattered.

"No, don't..." He sobbed violently, his voice hoarse as if he was wailing weakly, a little body fluid flowed from the corner of his mouth due to excessive panting, and his bloody hand was clutching his chest, "Please, me and him...don't Destroy my memories with him again... Please. You don't know how much I can keep, please, don't..."

He seemed to have fallen into a mental disorder, had lost the ability to distinguish the scene in front of him, and began to think that he was in the heart-piercing despair of the past.He seemed to be begging for something, his cyanotic thin lips twitched nervously, but he still couldn't beat the pain of the heart attack, and the pain made his eyes turn white for a while.

The extreme pain finally allowed him to regain consciousness the second before he lost consciousness. At that moment, he thought slowly in the blank, Sheng Chao, I have tried my best to love you, I have really tried my best.

But it seems... that's the only way to go.