dhibooks Chapter 8 The So-Called "Emotions"
Chapter 8 The So-Called "Emotions"
The author has something to say:
(This chapter contains metaphors)
Lu Hanwen was about to say something, but suddenly felt a force pressing his shoulder.
"Ye Xiu, you go back first, let me... think about it."
Ye Xiu turned his head and looked straight at Huang Shaotian. After about 2-3 seconds, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "Okay, I'll wait for you at home." Then he turned and left.
In the afternoon of that day, the Blue Rain Institute no longer had the hustle and bustle of the past.Every department is operating as usual, everyone is working as usual, they all know that he has come to look for Huang Shaotian; he left without taking Huang Shaotian.However, this did not reduce their worries at all, just because that person was called Ye Xiu.
At night, Lu Hanwen knocked on the door of Huang Shaotian's room. Without waiting for the other party's response, he walked into the room and sat down beside Huang Shaotian's bed.Huang Shaotian pulled the quilt and sat up.
"Hey, little guy, didn't I tell you to knock before entering other people's rooms?"
"Senior Shaotian, they all said that you will leave, is that true?"
Huang Shaotian was stunned for a moment, then leaned over to Lu Hanwen's side, and rubbed his hair with a smile.
"Who did you hear that from? These guys are real. Is it because they are so busy after the workload is completed? They always tell you something. It seems that it is necessary for the captain to adjust Lan Yu's schedule. You too, don't always listen to them..."
"Will you leave?" Lu Hanwen interrupted Huang Shaotian, staring straight at him.
Facing Lu Hanwen's question, Huang Shaotian smacked his lips.
"His place...isn't far from here. Besides, I... just go and have a look, have a look, and come back after a look."
"Senior Shaotian, I am no longer a child."
Seeing Lu Hanwen's serious eyes, Huang Shaotian coughed lightly, but did not respond.In fact, from the moment Ye Xiu asked him if he wanted to go home, no, maybe the moment he heard that Ye Xiu came to the research institute to find him, he already had the answer in his heart.But he knew how many people would not accept the decision made with this answer, and how many people did not want to accept it, especially... Lu Hanwen.He didn't even know how to explain and explain to him, so he asked Yu Wenzhou for advice, in fact, he just wanted to give his decision a strong side approval.Can let himself say 'Look, the captain has approved it, feel at ease', although he knows that the possibility of the captain's approval is basically zero, but he still wants to give it a try, maybe... also to convince A little uneasy in my heart.But, sure enough, the captain is the captain, how can I hide my thoughts from him...
The hope of seeking strong evidence was in vain. Faced with Lu Hanwen's questioning at this time, Huang Shaotian scratched his head in embarrassment.Facing Huang Shaotian's silence, Lu Hanwen lowered his head slightly.
"I don't understand..."
"Hanwen..." Huang Shaotian stretched out his hand to comfort Lu Hanwen, but his movement stopped in mid-air. He made a decision based on his own thoughts, and he had no confidence or reason to persuade others. It will only become paler and weaker.
"I don't understand, I don't understand, I don't understand...why, why! He doesn't accept our man-made humans at all, Senior Shaotian, you used to only..."
"Hanwen, I... never expected that he would accept it."
"Then why do you still..."
"Maybe...just like you want me by your side. Deep down in my heart...maybe, I want to be around someone too. Put it this way...do you understand?"
The corner of Huang Shaotian's mouth curved slightly, and he raised his hand to straighten Lu Hanwen's bangs, which were messed up due to emotional agitation.
No...I can't understand!I was born to exist as your younger brother, you are my older brother, I have reasons for wanting you to stay by my side!But he has nothing to do with you, you don't have such a necessary reason!I...
"I just want to protect you..."
Lu Hanwen was roaring deep in his heart, but when he clenched his lower lip and raised his head to look at Huang Shaotian, his eyes expecting to be understood and his lonely and helpless expression finally digested the fierce words that were almost ready to come out into few words. eight characters.Protection... Yes, all the excessive emotions and behaviors are only because he perceives the instability that that person will bring, and he perceives the harm that this instability may bring.
He didn't want to take this risk, let alone let his most important person take this risk.
"Well, I know, I've always known." Huang Shaotian grabbed Lu Hanwen's shoulder and patted him lightly to comfort him. From the very beginning, he knew that this small shoulder had always been his responsibility.
Really, obviously... just a child.
"Okay, it's not a parting of life and death. In fact, Ye Xiu is not as bad as you imagined. Besides, as a younger brother, shouldn't you support my brother's choice and bless me! Why do you look depressed!" Huang Shaotian let out She pushed Lu Hanwen's shoulders, pinched his cheeks with both hands, and tugged with a smile.
"Wow (uh)... Hala Hala (Okay, okay)... Shake it away (let it go)" Lu Hanwen patted Huang Shaotian's hand off, kept rubbing his face, and said reluctantly : "Then... you have to take care of yourself, and then promise me that if he treats you a little bit badly, you will come back right away!"
"Well, I promise you."
Huang Shaotian stretched out his hand to hook Lu Hanwen's little finger, and made a hook with him. The moment his thumb overlapped and stamped, Huang Shaotian showed a big smile at Lu Hanwen.
"We have a date."
At this time, the door of Huang Shaotian's room was knocked suddenly, Huang Shaotian and Lu Hanwen were both stunned for a moment.
"Huh? It's so late, who else is there?" Huang Shaotian looked up at the watch on the wall, before getting up to open the door.
"I, I'll go. I've finished what I need to say...I'm going back to my room too. If the captain finds out that I ran out at this time, it will be a disaster..." After Lu Hanwen finished speaking, he got up and walked towards the door.
Seeing Lu Hanwen walking towards the door in a panic, Huang Shaotian couldn't help laughing.
Sure enough, he was still a child...
"Uh, Senior Zhou..."
Looking at the person in front of him, Lu Hanwen was dumbfounded. If Zhou Zekai knew that he was here, it would mean...
"That...you talk! I'm going back to sleep!"
Before Zhou Zekai could respond, Lu Hanwen trotted away in two steps.
"Pfft ha ha ha ha! Xiao Zhou, look at the fact that you were scared by Han Wen! Hey, you just think it's because Han Wen is worried about me. Can you stop complaining to the captain when you go back?"
"Really...it's decided?" Zhou Zekai ignored Huang Shaotian's words, closed the door and went straight to the point.
"Well... You came to look for me after hearing what the captain said."
"Ah."
"Huh? Uh, what ah, even if you don't talk much, this time you came to see me, and it's over with a single word? Ahhh? Hurry up and tell me, what exactly do you want to say to me?"
"take care of yourself."
"what?"
"He's worried."
Huang Shaotian was stunned for a moment, and rubbed his nose.
"What... I thought you were going to say something, but in the end it was because the captain came to look for me."
"Well... I'm worried too."
"Captain...does he know you're coming?"
"Ah."
"Did he say he would come with you?"
"No."
"Oh... so, I thought he wanted to tell me something before he left." Huang Shaotian scratched his hair in some disappointment.
"...disturbed?"
"Huh? Well... a little bit, after all, I can't even give enough reasons to convince myself! But... there is a feeling that I want to go back with him. Xiao Zhou, have you ever experienced that? A feeling? It’s the kind of feeling that you don’t know why, but you want to do something or make a decision very, very strongly.”
"Well... yes. Maybe it's inner guidance."
"Inner guidance...Pfft, really, we obviously don't even have a heart..." Huang Shaotian smiled self-deprecatingly, stood up and walked to the window, looking at the starry night sky in a daze, "I really don't know ...What does it feel like to have a heart? They always say that our artificial man has no heart, but it is still just an organ, isn't it, since we can be manufactured, then it is just a small organ , why not?" As he spoke, Huang Shaotian subconsciously raised his hand and clenched it twice, and continued: "Difference in heart, where is the difference..."
"Emotion... huh?"
"Emotions... I don't know what it feels like to have feelings for a person? Want to stay by his side? Want to do something for him? Or..."
"You can give him your most important thing."
"The most important thing... Hey, what did you give the captain?" Huang Shaotian suddenly approached Zhou Zekai with a gossip on his face.
"Um...no. Because there isn't."
Hearing the second half of Zhou Zekai's words, Huang Shaotian's eyes darkened, the original teasing look disappeared from his face, and he twitched the corner of his mouth bitterly.
"Ah. Yeah, maybe...that's the gap..."
In the early morning, at dawn, the sparrow that announced the morning landed on the big tree at the street and twittered.
Three months ago, Huang Shaotian walked this street alone, leaving the place where he lived for three years.
Three months later, Huang Shaotian walked this street alone again, returning to the place where he had lived for three years.
The street is still the familiar street, but the poplar trees at the street seem to be more lush.The house is still a familiar house.It's just that the flower wall planted on the top of the neighbor's wall seems to be blooming more vigorously.
Standing in front of that door, Huang Shaotian took a deep breath.
He didn't know what kind of life he was going to face next.
However, when he saw the door was opened, and the man stood at the door with half a cigarette in his mouth to give him half a seat and said "Welcome home" to him, he felt that everything seemed not so important.
Perhaps, this is the so-called "emotion".