dhibooks Chapter 6 The Meaning of Existence
Chapter 6 The Meaning of Existence
At 8:52, at the moment when the second hand coincided with 12 on the dial, Huang Shaotian opened his eyes more punctually than the alarm clock. He sat up and stretched as usual, and the back of his hand touched the broken ventilation pipe. cold.At the moment when he realized that this morning was not as normal as before, Huang Shaotian looked around in the messy room looking for the culprit of all this, only to find that the little guy was sitting at the table wearing clothes that he found out of nowhere that didn't fit him. Turn over something.He froze for a few seconds, jumped up from the bed and took two steps to the table.
Sure enough, it was his diary that Lu Hanwen was flipping through.
Keeping a diary should have been a fantasy for Huang Shaotian, but during the years he lived in Ye Xiu's house, except for Su Mucheng, Chen Guo, and Baozi who occasionally met, he hardly had a single person. Someone who can talk, this is simply a kind of torment for him who already talks a lot.In the end, among the two solutions Zhang Xinjie offered him, he chose to keep a diary and write down what he wanted to say.After all, he didn't want to talk to a straw man doll every day and be treated as a mentally deranged malfunctioning body.
It can be said that the diary recorded every detail of his relationship with Ye Xiu in the past three years.
At this time, a brat who broke into his room and messed up his room three hours ago and wore his clothes is now leisurely flipping through it!
Huang Shaotian reached out and grabbed the diary, with obvious displeasure on his face.
"Little guy, has no one told you that you can't touch other people's things without permission?"
"That Ye Xiu is a very important person?"
"Little guy, you're very rude." Huang Shaotian didn't answer Lu Hanwen's question, he flicked Lu Hanwen's forehead hard, put the diary back in the drawer, and picked up a T-shirt casually.
"Short-sleeved?" Looking at the T-shirt in Huang Shaotian's hand, Lu Hanwen asked with some doubts, his tone seemed a bit incomprehensible.
"Ah? Do I have to wear long sleeves in such a hot weather?" Facing Lu Hanwen's doubts, Huang Shaotian's words also revealed incomprehensible doubts.
"...That, don't you need to block it?" Lu Hanwen pointed to the code on Huang Shaotian's arm, and asked tentatively.
"This? No need?"
"Won't you be treated differently?"
"Anyway, even if it's blocked, it won't change anything. If I can become a human right now, I'd be very willing to give it a try. No matter how hot I am, I'll admit it!" Huang Shaotian said indifferently, not noticing a trace of complexity flashing in Lu Hanwen's eyes. look.
In fact, although Huang Shaotian has gotten used to not caring about other people's eyes on the surface, but in his heart he still longs for equal treatment, especially for those who are close to him.However, now he has already seen through the gap between reality and ideals, longing, after all, can only be a kind of longing.
He put on the short sleeves he picked out from the closet, tugged at the neckline twice and took Lu Hanwen's hand.
"Let's go!"
"Young Master Huang! Senior Tian..." The name that Lu Hanwen had just yelled was replaced by the word "Senior" in the second half of the sentence with a look from Huang Shaotian, "Where are we going?"
"Buying clothes, I don't want others to see me as a pervert who kidnaps children."
What Huang Shaotian said was not unreasonable. With a height difference of more than 20 centimeters, Huang Shaotian's 5-point sweatpants became 7 points on Lu Hanwen's body, and the short-sleeved T-shirt was also quite bulky dangling on Lu Hanwen's body.Compared to him, who was neatly dressed and was dragging Lu Hanwen forward, he was indeed somewhat suspected of being a human trafficker.
Apparently, the staff of Xingle Clothing Store also think so.It wasn't until Huang Shaotian took out the identity card of the G Research Institute that the vigilance and suspicion on the clerk's face eased, replaced by the sense of superiority that he was used to, which is what most human beings are used to towards artificial humans. emotion.Huang Shaotian didn't pay attention, just said with a smile, "This is my younger brother", and handed Lu Hanwen to the shop assistants, asking them to pick out clothes for him, while he found a soft stool and sat down.
Unexpectedly, in just 2 minutes, the clerk who took Lu Hanwen to the dressing room just now came back with a pile of clothes. Under Huang Shaotian's puzzled eyes, she smiled politely: "Sir, I'm really sorry, your brother He insisted on choosing clothes by himself without asking us to help."
"Huh? What's the matter with the little guy, can't he be shy when he's so big."
Huang Shaotian muttered and stood up, walked to the dressing room, and opened the curtain.Lu Hanwen inside was struggling to take off an inappropriate top. The moment the clothes were taken off, Huang Shaotian couldn't help being taken aback by the faintly visible code on the back of Lu Hanwen's neck in the broken hair.
"Huh? Little Lu, are you..."
Reflexively, Lu Hanwen clutched his neck and took two steps back towards the wall, staring at the floor silently.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"It's not something important..."
"Why doesn't it matter, if I knew you were the same, I could have made preparations, you say you, now this...ah, really..." Huang Shaotian scratched his head in some annoyance.
Only then did he understand the meaning of the last sentence Yu Wenzhou said to him before returning to his room in the morning.
The past few years of experience and social experience have made Huang Shaotian deeply aware of the insurmountable gap between human beings and artificial people and the scope of acceptance. He has personally experienced the unwillingness and injustice of being treated differently, and learned to try not to touch each other based on their identity. The realm of avoidance, come to be with others.And he has been defining Lu Hanwen as a "human child" since morning until just now, but if the other party is an artificial human like himself...or a new body who has initially contacted the world...then what he said before Some words... The more Huang Shaotian thought about it, the more annoyed he looked at Lu Hanwen, who was bowing his head in the corner of the locker room, sighed and turned to leave quickly.
Seeing this, Lu Hanwen became even more nervous and at a loss. He already had doubts about the meaning of his own existence. He kept it from Huang Shaotian because he was afraid that he would have the kind of negative emotions towards him. Then his own existence was really... But Huang Shaotian's series of reactions just confirmed his worries.Sure enough, man-made humans can't do it...
Just as Lu Hanwen was feeling extremely depressed, a piece of clothing was thrown over his head.He grabbed the clothes on his head, it was a fake two-piece high-necked hoodie with a blue inside and a white outside. The height of the inner fake collar just covered the code on the back of his neck.
"Don't thank me! I just think this one should be quite suitable for you. It's your freedom to try it or not. I...I'll wait for you outside."
Huang Shaotian's awkward kindness made Lu Hanwen couldn't help laughing out loud. Putting on the clothes, Lu Hanwen turned around and brushed up the hair on the back of his neck, looking back at the tightly blocked code in the mirror, the sadness in his heart Suddenly dissipated half.
Five minutes later, Lu Hanwen followed Huang Shaotian out of the clothing store. He was wearing the high-necked hoodie that Huang Shaotian had chosen for him, paired with a pair of beige cropped pants, and Huang Shaotian's white T-shirt and blue jeans. A harmonious tune is formed.The two of them walked side by side on the street. From outsiders' eyes, they looked like real brothers. Coupled with Huang Shaotian's sunny and friendly appearance and Lu Hanwen's childish and alert expression, passers-by couldn't help but look at him more. They have two eyes.
At dusk, Huang Shaotian brought Lu Hanwen to the park in the middle of the street. After buying two ice creams at the cold drink shop, the two of them sat down on a stone bench by the lake.
"Senior Shaotian, you are really amazing."
"Hahaha, little guy, you have finally noticed my strengths. Let me tell you, my eyesight in choosing clothes is..."
"I don't care what other people think."
"what?"
Huang Shaotian who was interrupted was stunned for a moment, and followed Lu Hanwen's gaze to a couple not far away. The other party immediately shifted his gaze away after noticing Huang Shaotian's gaze, and Huang Shaotian lowered his head and took a bite of the ice cream in his hand. .
"If they want to see it, let them see it. I'm so handsome, not just for other people to see, but they always dare not meet my eyes. Tsk tsk, if you think I'm handsome, just say it, why are you hiding it?" .”
"Don't Senior Shaotian even care about it? What is the meaning of my existence..."
significance?Is that kind of thing important?
In the past, Huang Shaotian also questioned his own existence, just like Lu Hanwen. The better everyone in Blue Rain treated him, the stronger the feeling of self-doubt. He was just a defective product, a researcher who was left as a sample for observation. Body, why do you have to be so good to yourself?Wouldn't it be good to ask for cooperation when needed?Finally one day, Huang Shaotian couldn't help but shouted his thoughts to Yu Wenzhou. He thought that he would never forget the shock and sadness on Yu Wenzhou's face at that time in his life. Inflicting harm on others is also the first time I realize that human beings will also give real emotional investment to artificial people.So when he was in contact with Ye Xiu, he was very careful. Because he had been hurt before, he didn't want to hurt anyone, and because he had hurt someone before, he didn't want to repeat the same mistakes, especially for those who had wounds that could not heal in the past.But even so, the day-to-day indifference and indifference to a person who gets along with him day and night... is something he cannot bear alone.Fortunately, Ye Xiu has a group of friends who think about him.Their understanding of him and his promise to Yu Wenzhou supported those three years.
As for him, Lu Hanwen, a boy who was only fifteen or sixteen years old and had just stepped out of the laboratory to come into contact with human society, his inner confusion filled him with uneasiness, and as the confusion was solved step by step, it was replaced by discrimination and injustice. Waves of shocks, the difference between myself and others is constantly emphasized, and the role and position that I should be given is constantly repeated, cruel and cold.No one to explain, and no one to accompany.For artificial humans, this is really a very bad state.
Huang Shaotian turned his head to look at the boy beside him, and reached out to stroke his hair.
"Little Lu, it is a meaning to be able to breathe the fresh air, eat delicious ice cream, enjoy the breeze and watch the sunset. Compared with the heavy and complicated confinement, don't you feel that a free and casual life is happier? More Besides, you're not alone."
Looking at Huang Shaotian beside him with a sunny smile on his face, Lu Hanwen smiled with relief.Under Huang Shaotian's suspicious gaze and questioning, he smiled like a fifteen or sixteen-year-old child.
Yes, to have a person as the meaning of one's own existence, this kind of fateful arrangement, may really be a kind of luck.As for who and what kind of person that person is, or...whether he is a person, is it really that important?
Maybe, just each other, really is enough.