flawed

Chapter 114 I Love You

They hadn't spoken for almost a month.

Every day when Qi Nuliang came home at night, Jiang Yu was already asleep, and when Jiang Yu went out to make up lessons in the morning, Qi Nuliang hadn't woken up yet.Breakfast and dinner are not eaten at the same place, and the noon meal is eaten at home, and the time will be staggered.The two were at home at the same time, in their respective rooms, the living room became the Chu River and the Han border, and they just passed by when they came in and out, and never stopped.

But they will secretly observe each other.Jiang Yu ran along the river for a month, and the willow leaves that sheltered him became thinner and thinner.Qi Nuliang tried to guess from Jiang Yu's daily actions whether his hatred for him had subsided a little.

It's just that Jiang Yu has a cold face every day, hiding his emotions well, Qi Nuliang can't guess it at all.

It should be hatred, after all, revenge for killing his father.He didn't expect Jiang Yu to forgive him either.

The date of the start of school is gradually approaching. If they had promised to go to Beijing together, I am afraid it will not come true, and it has become an unattainable luxury to be together as a family in the future.

Qi Nuliang's heart was empty, as he did when he stepped out of the prison gate for the first time, once again he didn't know what to do in the face of this vast world.

Maybe someone like him doesn't deserve happiness.

But there are some things that he still has to explain to Jiang Yu.At least, before the permanent parting, he should apologize to Jiang Yu for what happened before.No matter how many grievances and grievances he has with Yao Huilan and Jiang Minggui, only Jiang Yu is innocent.

On his last day at the grill, he didn't work late into the night.Boss Zhou closed the door early at nine o'clock and invited the staff in the store to have dinner.When it was over, he gave Qi Nuliang the last salary and a red envelope for him to bring to Jiang Yu.

After ten o'clock, Qi Nuliang went home with the red envelope, saw that the light in Jiang Yu's room was still on, he hesitated for a while, and knocked on the door bravely.

As soon as the knocking stopped, the door was jerked open.

He found that Jiang Yu, who was standing in front of him, was a little flustered.When Qi Nuliang looked away, he found that Jiang Yu was barefoot, and he didn't have time to put on his shoes.

"elder brother……"

Qi Nuliang handed over the red envelope that was warm all the way: "Well, Boss Zhou entrusted me to give it to you."

Jiang Yu just stared at him and didn't reach out to take it.

"I said you were helping in his shop before, and that you were going to college soon, so I sealed a package for you." After finishing speaking, Qi Nuliang stuffed the red package into his hand, turned around and wanted to leave.

There is no way, just saying these two sentences, his courage is exhausted.He couldn't apologize for that incident, let alone bear Jiang Yu's blame and hatred for him.

Jiang Yu grabbed his hand and called out "Brother" again.

Only then did he notice that Jiang Yu still called him brother.Qi Nuliang felt a sore heart, followed by mixed feelings.Presumably that child is also having a hard time, after all, he once trusted and relied on him wholeheartedly.

"...Let's talk."

Qi Nuliang swallowed: "Okay... okay, let's talk."

He entered Jiang Yu's room.The child's room is like a girl's room, everything is neatly arranged, the not-so-new desk, bed cabinet is wiped clean, and there is still a faint smell of toilet water and mosquito coils in this season.It smells good, and it makes people feel a little sad.

Jiang Yu asked Qi Nuliang to sit on the bed.

He said that he was dirty and just sat in the corner next to the dressing table.He smelled of charcoal smoke and sweat, which was very incompatible with this place.Just like his messy life, he is also out of tune with Jiang Yu.He used to shyly feel that they could be each other's only family.

Obviously it was Jiang Yu who wanted to talk, entered the room, but didn't speak, just looked at him.Not knowing if it was his illusion, Qi Nuliang felt that Jiang Yu's eyes were a little pitiful.

He was a little nervous and embarrassed, and he couldn't help but think of that night a month ago.He glanced at Yao Huilan's portrait on the dressing table, feeling even more ashamed, and even his face began to heat up.Even if you want to punish him and take revenge on him, you can hit or kill him casually.He didn't understand why Jiang Yu chose that way, and now he couldn't lift his head up in front of Yao Huilan.

It was really hard to stay in this room any longer, since Jiang Yu didn't speak, he bit the bullet and opened his mouth.

"Jiang Yu, your father... was killed by me by accident." Qi Nuliang took a deep breath, and then confided everything in one breath, "That bastard beat you, your mother was almost beaten to death by him in order to protect you, In desperation, I struck the back of his head with a shovel...

"To be honest, I don't regret it, whether it was the shovel or the eight years in prison. But after I saw you, I realized that I made a mistake. I made you an orphan and made you live so hard.

"I've had a bad life, but I'm not ashamed of myself, but I'm only ashamed of you. I'm sorry for you.

"I didn't say this to make excuses. You should hate me. If you want to vent your anger, you have to beat or scold me..."

Before Qi Nuliang finished speaking, Jiang Yu interrupted, "I don't hate you."

The half of the sentence that was cut off was swallowed by Qi Nuliang with a gulu.He opened his mouth slightly, a little unbelievable.

"I really don't hate you. I went to look up your verdict, just to know about your past. When I saw the name 'Jiang Minggui' on the verdict, it took me a while to remember who he is. I have absolutely nothing for him I don’t even have the memory of him beating me. It’s hard to feel any affection for a character that never appears in my memory, even though he’s my biological father.”

"You... really don't hate me?"

"I don't hate you." Jiang Yu lowered his eyelids, "But I still feel very uncomfortable. I know that the kindness you treat me is because you are ashamed of me and my mother, not because you like me. Do you understand? ?”

If Jiang Yu said that he didn't hate him because he had no feelings for his father, Qi Nuliang could still understand a little bit.But he really couldn't understand a word of the latter.What made him even more puzzled and embarrassed was, since Jiang Yu didn't hate him, why did he do that again that night.

"I don't understand." Qi Nuliang frowned, a little irritable, subconsciously took out a cigarette.He lowered his head to open the cigarette case, took out a cigarette and held it in his mouth, and fumbled around for the lighter, "I don't understand at all, sometimes I really don't understand you. Since you don't hate me, why do you... "At this point, he couldn't say anymore.

"Because I love you." Jiang Yu looked up at him and said calmly and sadly.

The lighter in Qi Nuliang's hand fell to the ground.He was stunned for a second, bent down to pick up the lighter, got up suddenly and left.

"Then what, it's late today, you should go to bed early. Call Brother Zhou tomorrow and thank him for the red envelope."

"Brother..." Jiang Yu rushed forward, locked the door, stood behind the door and took Qi Nuliang's hand holding the doorknob, eagerly pouring out his emotions, "I really love you, I love you!" I've loved you for so many years and I can't take it anymore... um..."

Qi Nuliang covered Jiang Yu's mouth, and said sharply, "It's the middle of the night, why are you suddenly going crazy?"

Jiang Yu broke away from Qi Nuliang's hand, he was like a balloon filled with water, already stretched to the extreme, it only needed a small hole, and it exploded completely regardless.

"I'm not crazy, I just love you like you love my mother."

"I don't love your mother." Qi Nuliang subconsciously retorted loudly.

Jiang Yu also raised his voice: "But I love you."

Qi Nuliang pinched his forehead for a long time before suppressing the fear in his heart, then wiped his face, and tried to reason with him as nicely as possible: "Xiao Yu, listen to me, did you say that brother has been refusing to let me go before?" When you fall in love, you only let him study hard, which puts too much pressure on you? You have finished your exams and are about to go to college. In college, you can talk about whatever you want. Girls in your school, study and Well, the person is beautiful, and then you will definitely meet someone you really like..."

"No, no more, I won't like anyone more than you, I just want to be with you."

The anger he suppressed with all his strength was ignited by Jiang Yu's words: "Are you crazy? You see clearly, I'm a fucking man, why are men and men together?"

"Men and men can be together too. I made you uncomfortable that night, but I can do more in the future..."

"Snapped!"

For the first time in his life, Qi Nuliang slapped Jiang Yu.

But this slap felt like a slap on Qi Nuliang's own heart, and it hurt sharply.He was extremely tired and still puzzled: "Jiang Yu, stop talking, don't ruin yourself."

"I didn't..." He suddenly couldn't continue because he saw Qi Nuliang shed tears.Jiang Yu blinked, and also shed two lines of tears: "Brother, I'm sorry..."

"Xiao Yu, don't ruin your life. You should finish college well, get married and have children. Your mother also hopes that you can live a normal life."

"elder brother……"

"Stop talking, I'm a little tired, go to rest early." Qi Nuliang pushed Jiang Yu away, opened the door, and returned to his room.

He didn't turn on the light, and sat in the darkness, with a faint orange light from the cigarette butt between his fingers.

He was as tired and awake as the light.

Even if the young man's words were ignorant, he knew that Jiang Yu was not joking.

Thinking of all the past, those closeness and coquettishness, those holding hands and kisses, that child has grown into an adult when he was careless, and when he was unconscious, the eyes that looked at him were already the eyes of a lover.

Qi Nuliang held his head in pain, how could this happen?How could Jiang Yu love him, how could he love him?

It's because he is too stupid, he doesn't know how to educate children at all, so that he has brought up a good child like this.It was also because he was too dull, without any vigilance, let Jiang Yu get close, and was complacent about getting the child's closeness.

It was all his fault, he was always making mistakes, from his own life, to Yao Huilan's life, to Jiang Yu's life, he ruined everything.

He was damned, even if he died, he would have no face to see Yao Huilan again.He was sorry to Yao Huilan, and also to Jiang Yu.

With the hand that slapped Jiang Yu just now, Qi Nuliang slapped himself hard.

He would rather Jiang Yu hate him.