first love is not too late

Chapter 52 "This time, let me approach you."

52

After Li Ming left, Ji Mingyu thought for a long time, and finally figured out one thing.

He, Ji Mingyu, lived for more than 25 years, and finally found out that he may indeed not be a straight man.

Before that, Ji Mingyu used his straight man's way of thinking about Fu Shi'an's liking for him. He took it for granted that he liked women, and thought that his feelings for Fu Shi'an were only between friends. It is love between lovers.That's why he hesitated, unable to accept or refuse.

And now he realizes that he might not be a straight man, is he bent?

Recalling that at that time, Ji Mingyu didn't have such negative emotions of disgust at all, he was just surprised, at a loss, and didn't even come to distinguish that when he knew that person was him, he was actually happy for a moment.

A brand new idea appeared in front of him, so trying with Fu Shi'an was not a way to ease the relationship, but he had already had such thoughts in his mind.

The reason why he doesn't like Li Ming approaching Fu Shi'an with various understandings is because he is unconsciously jealous...that's why he has inexplicable hostility towards Li Ming.He just likes Fu Shi'an, that's why his heart beats faster when he and Fu Shi'an are occasionally too close, and he feels sad because of Fu Shi'an, and feels distressed because of his sadness.

Perhaps there was an element of friendship in it, but after the reunion, he had already been moved before he realized it. It's a pity that he is a fool, and he only realized it clearly now.

His straight man is Schrödinger's straight man. For Sun Ran, who is also of the same sex, Ji Mingyu's subconscious resistance is because he doesn't like him.But Fu Shi'an is different, it's different everywhere.

His liking for Fu Shi'an is no different from Fu Shian's liking for him.

After thinking it over, Ji Mingyu felt a little ridiculous and pitiful.He couldn't wait to see Fu Shi'an, and told him that he didn't force himself, it wasn't pity or sympathy, but liking, sincere liking.

After finishing work, Ji Mingyu couldn't wait to rush back to the city, and then got stuck on the elevated road. Traffic jams are normal before holidays. Ji Mingyu moved slowly on the road like a tortoise. At this time, he called Fu Shi'an again.

This time Fu Shi'an picked it up, Ji Mingyu wanted to have dinner together at night, but Fu Shi'an and his department had dinner at night, so Ji Mingyu had to give up.

It was past eight o'clock when he entered the urban area, and Ji Mingyu stopped by the cake shop he had chosen in advance to order a birthday cake. He chose a starry sky light cream cake, and told him to put less sugar, and made an appointment to pick it up tomorrow. time to go home.

Fu Shi'an didn't know when the dry roses in the porch had been disposed of. In the lead gray vase was the Blossoming Fugui plastic flower he bought last time. It was close to ten o'clock when Ji Mingyu took a shower and changed into clean clothes.

Fu Shi'an never came home late, even if it was a dinner party, he would come back before ten o'clock.But today, Ji Mingyu didn't come back until 10:30. Ji Mingyu called several times but no one answered. Ji Mingyu was a little worried. Although Fu Shi'an was in a unilateral cold war with him, he would definitely answer the second time Ji Mingyu called. .

Just when Ji Mingyu was about to go out to find someone, the phone finally connected, but it was a woman's voice.

"Who are you?" Ji Mingyu's heart tightened, "Why are you holding Fu Shi'an's phone?"

"Hello, little sun, I'm Xu Lin, a colleague of Mr. An's."

the little sun?When did Fu Shi'an give him the remark?

Ji Mingyu: "Hello, Fu Shi'an..."

"He's drunk and can't answer the phone now." Sister Xu on the other side of the phone explained the original, glanced at Fu Shi'an who was lying sideways on the sofa, and said, "You are his friend, can you come over to answer the phone conveniently... .”

Before she finished speaking, Ji Mingyu said, "I'll go over right away."

After hanging up the phone and taking the car keys to go out, Ji Mingyu suddenly realized that he forgot to ask for the address, but fortunately, sister Xu sent the address after a while, it was a bar.

This is the moment when the bar is on fire. The lights in the bar are blurred, and Ji Mingyu's eardrums are trembling with the electronic music. Stupid, I forgot to call.

He stood there for a while, and then a woman dressed intellectually came over and led him to the bar, "This bar is opened by my husband and friend. I was afraid that Boss An would not sleep well, so I asked someone to bring him here." Head's lounge."

Ji Mingyu: "Thank you."

"It's fine if you come. Boss An doesn't know what's going on. He didn't tell him his address and just muttered that he wouldn't go home. Hey, I don't know if he had a fight with his wife."

Ji Mingyu was slightly taken aback, "Daughter-in-law?"

The music outside was at its climax, but Xu Lin didn't hear Ji Mingyu's doubts, so she raised her voice a little more: "It seems that he is not in a good mood these days, and we didn't stop him from drinking tonight. I didn't expect to let him drink." Drank too much."

The two stopped at the door of a lounge, and after entering, Ji Mingyu saw Fu Shi'an, who was sleeping lightly on the sofa, frowning even with his eyes closed. He was indeed in a bad mood, and Ji Mingyu felt a little bitter in his heart.

Xu Lin gave Fu Shi'an's cell phone to Ji Mingyu, "I'll trouble you to take him back, I'm going to find my husband."

"Okay," Ji Mingyu thanked Xu Lin, "Thank you."

The soundproofing effect of this lounge is good. After Xu Lin left, it was very quiet. Fu Shian leaned on the sofa, his whole face was under the light orange light, his cheeks were flushed because of drunkenness, and two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned. The collarbone was exposed and the shoulder sockets were pink, Ji Mingyu walked over and called Fu Shi'an twice, before he woke up, he called again: "Yuanyuan."

After shouting twice, he finally opened his eyes slowly, and a light-colored light fell into his confused pupils, like a piece of moonlight sprinkled on the sea.

"You're here." Fu Shi'an's voice was a little hoarse, these three words were ordinary, but they seemed like someone who had gone through all hardships and waited until he wanted to wait. Ji Mingyu felt that there was something heavy in his heart.

"Why do you drink so much wine, is it uncomfortable?" Ji Mingyu stretched out his hand to help him, Fu Shi'an blinked his eyes and then sat up straight, saying, "It's okay."

"En." Ji Mingyu didn't seem to notice his dodge, and directly took his hand and put it on his shoulder. He noticed that Fu Shi'an seemed to want to pull his hand away, so Ji Mingyu exerted some force to keep him from moving, "Don't Move, let's go home."

"I can go by myself." Fu Shi'an said.

They were very close, Fu Shi'an's hair rubbed against the side of Ji Mingyu's neck, Ji Mingyu could smell the smell of alcohol on his body, and a faint woody fragrance, the two smells mixed together and Ji Mingyu didn't think it was too unpleasant.

Ji Mingyu stretched out his other hand and directly grabbed his waist: "You can't even stand still, how can you walk?"

Ji Mingyu probably convinced him, he felt that Fu Shi'an relaxed his body, his whole body was resting on Ji Mingyu's shoulders, and his head rubbed down against his shoulders like a puppy.

After stuffing him into the passenger seat, Ji Mingyu bent down to fasten his seat belt again, and Fu Shi'an suddenly touched his hair with his hand.

"What's wrong?" Ji Mingyu raised his head, meeting Fu Shi'an's staring gaze.The distance was too close, and Fu Shi'an's alcohol-smelling breath sprayed on his lips.

He parked far away, only a street light was on not far away, Ji Mingyu was a little night blind and couldn't see Fu Shi'an's face clearly, but he miraculously saw Fu Shi'an's eyes, probably because those eyes were too bright and his vision was too wide scorching hot.

"It's okay, I'll do it myself." Two or three seconds later, Fu Shi'an lowered his eyes, reached out to buckle his seat belt, but held Ji Mingyu's hand, and he let go as if he was electrocuted.

Ji Mingyu laughed, fastened his seat belt, and said when he got up, "Why are you touching my hand? You're drunk and playing hooligans."

Fu Shi'an didn't speak, but he kept staring at Ji Mingyu's hand holding the steering wheel when he was driving. Ji Mingyu noticed it when he looked sideways at the rearview mirror. This was the first time he saw Fu Shi'an who was drunk.

The reaction is slower than usual, and I usually slap people with three sentences, but now it seems that I suddenly don't know how to speak.Although the two of them were mostly silent during this time, but this time, Ji Mingyu didn't feel embarrassed at all, but felt relieved like never before.

The car parked safely in the parking space, and Ji Mingyu didn't move. Noticing that Fu Shi'an was still staring at his hands, he took his hands off the steering wheel and stretched them out in front of Fu Shi'an: "Do you want to touch them? Let me touch them."

Just when he thought that Fu Shi'an would slap him, Fu Shi'an slowly raised his hand and grabbed his hand. His movements were very light, and he didn't use much force in his grasping movements, as if he was catching a dream. Try too hard and the dream will be shattered.

Ji Mingyu didn't move, just let him hold it, feeling the warmth of his palm gradually covering the back of his hand, before Fu Shi'an retracted his hand, he pulled that hand back and clasped his fingers tightly.

Fu Shi'an stared at him with ignorant eyes, Ji Mingyu smiled: "You touched it, it's my turn."

The two of them sat in the car holding hands like idiots in the middle of the night, Ji Mingyu opened the car window, and the night wind blew in, with the coolness of early autumn, Ji Mingyu seemed to smell the fragrance of sweet-scented osmanthus.

Autumn is here.

He didn't let go, and neither did Fu Shi'an. He stared at the intersecting hands of the two with lowered eyes, not knowing what he was thinking.Ji Mingyu simply lay on the steering wheel, staring at him as if admiring some rare treasure.

"Yuanyuan." Ji Mingyu called him suddenly, and Fu Shi'an slowly raised his eyes to look at him.

I heard him say, "You like me."

After Fu Shi'an finished speaking, he turned his face sideways and pulled his hands back. Ji Mingyu didn't let him move, and then said, "You said you don't want my answer, but I want to give you an answer."

Fu Shi'an pumped harder, and even twisted the car door with the other hand as if he wanted to get out of the car, and then Ji Mingyu pressed the car lock.

"You don't want to hear it?"

Seeing that there was no hope of getting out of the car, Fu Shi'an simply didn't move, and was silent for a while before saying, "Stop talking."

Ji Mingyu took his hand and changed the subject after hearing his words: "Since when did you like me?"

Fu Shi'an didn't answer, so Ji Mingyu guessed by himself, observing Fu Shi'an's reaction while guessing, guessing that Fu Shi'an's eye tail moved when he was in college, Ji Mingyu's heart was full of honey, but the fine taste was full of bitterness.

For so many years, in what mood did Fu Shi'an look at him ignorantly, watching him fall in love with others?

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Fu Shi'an still didn't answer, but his lips were tightly pressed.Ji Mingyu regretted that he asked such a question, so he directly expressed his heart: "I like you too, do you want to fall in love with me?"

The eyelashes of Fu Shi'an who was suddenly confessed trembled slightly, and he turned his head to look at Ji Mingyu after a while of reaction. Ji Mingyu held his hand, rubbed his fingers, and waited for his answer with a smile.

Fu Shi'an didn't speak, and Ji Mingyu didn't urge him, as if he was giving him time to think. He actually didn't think so soon, but when he looked at Fu Shi'an, he felt that he couldn't wait for a moment.

After a while, Fu Shi'an finally spoke. He looked at Ji Mingyu and spoke nonsense very seriously.

"I'm not a woman."

Ji Mingyu: "Me neither."

After two seconds of silence, Ji Mingyu said again: "But love is gender-neutral, isn't it?"

Fu Shi'an's breathing began to slow down, as if his brain was overloaded for a long time, he couldn't give him a proper reaction, but his eyes were foggy again.He seemed to be trying his best to restrain something, and the hand with intertwined fingers unconsciously exerted force, which made Ji Mingyu feel a little painful.

Ji Mingyu stared into his eyes. Ji Mingyu, who recognized his own feelings, could finally look directly into such expectant eyes. Staring blankly and leaning forward, he hesitated for a moment before reaching out to touch the end of Fu Shi'an's eyes, then moved to the side of his face, and lightly touched his lips.He said:

"This time, let me approach you."