Dressing Biography

Chapter 100 Ruthless

It wasn't long before spring began, and the annoying north wind was still blowing in the border town. I was lying on the bed waiting to give birth. Li Le was sent to patrol and would return tomorrow. My aunt watched over me night and night, so tired that I fell asleep when I touched the table.I rubbed my aching belly and watched my aunt sleeping soundly at the table. White light began to glow outside the window. I thought it was almost dawn.I want to bear it a little longer, and it will not be too late to wake up my aunt when the sky is brighter.But my disobedient stomach hurt for a while, I grabbed the quilt, dripping with sweat, my breathing was not smooth, and my brows were squeezed again and again, so I endured the pain, and found that I couldn't make a sound when I opened my mouth: "Little, aunt... "Obviously this sound did not wake up my sleeping aunt, suddenly my stomach twitched, and I couldn't help but yelled, which woke up my aunt.

Seeing that the hair on my forehead was wet with sweat, my aunt ran over nervously and immediately lifted the quilt. I only heard my aunt shout: "The amniotic fluid is broken, the amniotic fluid is broken!"

Aunt Zhang who was woken up heard her aunt's shout, and responded: "What!" But in a moment, I saw her rushing in, her clothes and hair were still messed up. As soon as I had time to dress, I rushed over in a hurry.Aunt Zhang took a closer look and said, "It's about to give birth!" After finishing speaking, Aunt Zhang yelled out the door again, "Second boy, hurry up and invite Grandma Liu!" Only the sound of the door opening and closing was heard. Gone in a flash.

My stomach twitched and twitched, the pain was so painful that I didn't know how to speak, I just felt a figure shaking back and forth in front of my eyes, my ears were full of noisy voices, my clothes were already wet, and my throat felt like I couldn't make a sound .When it doesn't hurt, it feels like I'm about to drown in the wet sea.But the pain felt like crushing me on the tip of a knife, and my spirits were instantly elevated.That is, at this time, I could hear the voice of the midwife, Grandma Liu, who kept calling me "hard, hard", and back and forth just these few words, but I didn't even have the strength to refute. It's as if it's cut off in the middle, I wish I had to have it, and it won't be born.I don't know if the tears that fell down due to pain soaked the pillow, but I felt that my hands were about to grab the quilt out of the hole, but this little villain just couldn't come out, no matter how hard I tried, he couldn't bear to come out.I fell powerlessly on the bed again and again, sighing and limp, wishing to stop here, but he would move from time to time, making me walk on the edge of a knife, in a dilemma.Whenever I want to give up, those people who have nothing to do with me are constantly reminding me to "work hard, work hard".The pain in my heart, the pain in my body, who can save me.I don't know if I'm hissing or not, I don't know if I've scratched the quilt, I don't know if I'm trying hard, I know my mind is full of Liang Shiqin, I hope to see her, I hope to fall into her arms , I hope to find a sliver of comfort, I hope that every moment of pain here can let her know how much I hurt, how much I miss her, and how unwilling I am.Just when I didn't know if I was going to give up, I remembered that letter from home, written by her herself, and wrote down the name of the child: if it's a boy, it's called Li Muqin; if it's a girl, it's called Li Musi. I don't know how many times I have recited the two names "Muqin and Musi" in my heart.I can use my children to repay the debt to Li Le, because Li Le cannot have no children.And my debt to Liang Shiqin can only be pinned on the child's name, this heavy name blatantly expresses my concern and admiration for Liang Shiqin.I don't know whether Liang Shiqin is making up for her, or taking the opportunity to mock Li Le.But anyway, that's all I'll call it.Thinking of this point, I pumped up my energy and continued to work hard, my eyes were about to burst into tears, and I could only clenched my lips with my teeth and tried my best to live up to Liang Shiqin's affectionate sustenance.

I don’t know how long it’s been, how long it’s been in pain, I only know that when the child came out, I fell heavily on the bed, I didn’t even have the strength to look at the child, and I was relieved after exhausting all my energy. Breathing out and relieved, he fell into the warm and soft sea at once, and sank quietly.As for who is calling me, pulling me, I don't care, I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep.

In the dream, there is no more pain, no more entanglements, only the transparent comfort.I slowly stepped on the cotton candy-like sea to the beach step by step, listening to the waves beating against the rocks, stirring up a gentle melody.I looked around for a week, only to see a lush forest, and a woman in a red shirt was walking towards me with a tiger-headed kid by the hand.I couldn't see her face clearly, I only saw her stretch out her slender hands to me, as if carved from white jade, without any impurities.As soon as I touched her fingertips, I saw her face slowly emerge like a flower.The corners of the slightly raised mouth, the familiar eyebrows, the affection in the eyes, and the me in the eyes that have never changed.I chuckled, and she laughed too, and then, I held her hand, and she took the little boy, walking towards the dense forest, towards the peaceful world, towards a happy life. . .

When I opened my eyes again, I felt a lot lighter in body, maybe it was related to the dream, and I felt much happier.Seeing that there was no one in the room, I laughed at myself again, leaving all the good things in my dream and Liang Shiqin.After a while, I saw my aunt walking in with a baby in her arms.

"Look, look so much like Li Le." My aunt couldn't wait to put the little guy in front of me.Looking at his pink smiling face, I thought of Liang Shiqin's pink cheeks, and couldn't help but smile.The aunt continued: "This kid is not small, no wonder you have been born for so long. Your blood can't be stopped. Fortunately, there is Grandma Liu, otherwise you almost collapsed." Although the aunt said it was scary, she hugged her in her arms. Looking at the little guy, his face was filled with uncontrollable joy: "Xiaoyong, Xiaoyong, your mother gave birth to you but walked through the gate of hell, and you have to respect her well in the future."

"His name is Mu Qin, he should be called Xiao Qin or Xiao Mu." As soon as I heard it, I felt that my aunt had made a mistake, so I corrected it immediately.

The aunt replied indifferently: "Li Le said, the name is too difficult to remember, so I call it Li Yong. Boy, simple and generous."

A nameless fire immediately spread from my heart, and the words were no longer gentle: "His name is Li Muqin."

Seeing that I was a little angry, my aunt softened her body again and said, "Okay, okay, it's just a name. You can call me anything after you rest. Xiaoyong, let's go out and let your mother have a good rest." As she spoke, Auntie carried Mu Qin and left.But I was so full of anger that I couldn't get rid of it, I punched the quilt weakly with both fists, looked at the bed in a daze, and muttered in my heart that this name was given by Liang Shiqin, and I would definitely not change it.

After a while, Li Le came in and saw me glaring at him, so he opened his mouth first: "The doctor said, you have lost a lot of blood and you have to rest. We will talk about other things after you have recuperated."

But I resolutely said: "Li Muqin, you and I agreed."

Seeing that I refused to back down, Li Le frowned a little, and then slowly said, "Because she took the name?" Seeing that I didn't speak, Li Le stepped back and sat on the chair, "Why do you listen to what she says. If she said to bring the child back to Yanjing to raise it, and never send it back, would you be willing?"

Seeing Li Le cast doubtful eyes on me, I didn't flinch, and told him the excuse I had thought up a long time ago: "Gaotang is alive, and I will not travel far. But you also have the burden of protecting your family and the country, so you can't just care about it." Xiaojia. If Mu Qin can fulfill your filial piety in Yanjing for you, it would be a good thing. Besides, how can the border town compare with Yanjing, and how can our knowledge teach Mu Qin better. You also said that you I don't have much knowledge, and I have been despised in the army. Naturally, I don't want Mu Qin to be treated like this again. If I can be sent back to Yanjing, and Miss Seven is willing to raise him, that would be great. Although Mu Qin is far away from me , but it’s a good thing for him and you.”

My words made Li Le less happy the more he listened, his frown became tighter and tighter. When I finished speaking, he seemed to explode, but after a moment of silence, Li Le just clenched his fists and looked at me with sharp eyes: "You really just think so?"

"I'm going to write a letter and tell my father-in-law and mother-in-law about this, and see what they can do. If they can persuade Miss Qi, I will bear the pain and let Mu Qin return to Yanjing." I guess the reason why Li Le asked this question should be It was a letter from his family, Liang Shiqin would not say that, it should be Li's father and mother's intention that Li Wen write.Apart from selfishness, this is indeed a very good arrangement for Mu Qin.The border city is windy and sandy, and it's not stable. Instead of staying here and making me feel anxious, it's better for me to be at Liang Shiqin's side.

Li Le was silent for a while, then suppressed his anger and got up: "He is just a newborn child, are you really willing?"

It can be seen that Li Le is very unwilling, so why am I willing.But Liang Shiqin has already made such a plan, so I can't ruin her plan, even if I am also a part of her plan.I don't know if she can predict things like a god and estimate that I can give birth safely.If she made a wrong estimate, would she regret it?I looked up at the aloof Li Le, and said to him calmly: "For his good, I am willing to part with it." For her, there is nothing I am reluctant to part with.Li Le frowned again, a sigh was dissipated in the silent air, and then he left with a flick of his sleeves.My hanging heart also let go.

After a while, I saw my aunt running in nervously and yelling at me: "How can you have such a cruel mother? You want to send him away after only a short time since the child was born. After such a long journey, he is a baby. I can bear it." The aunt sobbed, leaning on the chair and crying, "Changing clothes, why are you so cruel, you risked your life to give birth to him. Why did you give it to her so easily and let her pick it up for nothing? You gave birth to this son. He was born to you." . .

My aunt rambled on and said a lot, nothing more than blaming me and blaming me.But it can't change my mind.Gritting my teeth like this, enduring the pain of parting, when Mu Qin was seven months old, I handed him to the nanny myself, watching the carriage splash yellow sand, and watching him disappear from my sight .I squeezed the handkerchief tightly and closed my eyes, and a stream of tears overflowed. At this moment, I realized that I was really ruthless, so ruthless. . .

The author has something to say:

I also feel a little harsh. .