Dingjiangshan

Chapter 191 "I will never live a life like the late emperor."

"Smooth than I imagined." Ning Yan said: "I originally thought that the third brother would be more stubborn, and I didn't hope that he would really write this letter."

While talking, Ning Huaijin had already read the letter in his hand. He folded the letter paper and stuffed it back into the envelope, carefully folded the seal, and handed it to Qin Liu.

Ning Zheng's carriage had gone away, Ning Yan walked back to the tea table, picked up the tea bowl and took a sip of tea.

The setting sun was slanting to the west, the dim yellow light was gradually dimming, and the mountain road and forest sea in the distance gradually sank into the dark shadows, but neither Ning Yan nor Ning Huaijin said that they wanted to go back.

"Before today, I didn't expect that Your Majesty would still think of Ning Zheng so much." Ning Huaijin sighed, and said, "Otherwise, I have a lot to say, and I won't say much."

"The affection is real, but it's not that much." Ning Yan said.

In front of Ning Huaijin, Ning Yan no longer had to force himself to put on that unfathomable airs. The smile on his face was slightly restrained, and he looked neither as sincere as when he talked with Ning Zheng just now, nor like As indifferent as when he threatened him at the end.

He looked a little tired, with an imperceptible look of confusion on his face.

"Third Brother and I are not immortal. I was in Anqing Mansion before, and he actually had many opportunities to kill me, but he didn't." Ning Yan said: "Because of this, I am willing to give him a chance."

"But I decided to let him live, not entirely because of this." Ning Yan said.

Ning Huaijin walked up to him, hummed cooperatively, and signaled herself to listen again.

"Does the emperor still remember what his father looked like when he was dying?" Ning Yan asked suddenly.

"Remember." Ning Huaijin said: "At that time, the emperor was in a hurry, and the late emperor was too sick, and there was no time to arrange many things, so he could only meet people like the flow of water—the royal family, the important ministers who assisted the government, and other odds and ends. Broken. Ning Yu's body was parked in front of him. The first emperor was lying in the hall and he was dying. The rebellious imperial army had to be sorted out, the clan relatives had to be appeased, and the concubines in the harem had to be guarded, not to mention the courtiers who were waiting for news. .”

It has been more than ten years, but Ning Huaijin obviously still has lingering fears when talking about the scene of that day.He sighed as he spoke, and said in fear: "Fortunately, Ning Zheng was no longer in Beijing at that time, otherwise, fishing in troubled waters would be even more dangerous than the situation at that time."

"At that time, Uncle Huang was not as old as I am now." Ning Yan joked: "Are you afraid?"

"I didn't make it in time." Ning Huaijin said honestly: "At that time, there was a string in my heart. When the string was loosened later, everything had settled down, and there was nothing to be afraid of."

"But I was afraid at the time." Ning Yan said as he turned his head and looked out of the pavilion. He has always been like this. Every time he wants to say something, he habitually looks away, whether it is looking at the sky, the earth or the odds and ends at hand. Objects, in short, they will not look at Ning Huaijin.

"At that time, the emperor's uncle was dealing with the overall situation outside, and I wanted to be filial by my father's side, so I couldn't leave even a single step." Ning Yan said: "At that time, I still remembered the scene where the fourth brother was pierced by an arrow. When I had time to react, I realized that even my father couldn't do it."

"He was holding my hand at that time, and I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him, watching helplessly as the last light in his eyes went out." Ning Yan said: "At first he couldn't speak very much, but later he couldn't even speak. I can’t see clearly, but he just held my hand tightly until the end, like a pair of iron clamps, I don’t know where he got so much strength.”

Ning Huaijin had never heard Ning Yan mention these things.

More than ten years ago, when the first emperor passed away, he was only 16 years old. He was not as confident in his life as he is now. And beat the drums non-stop.However, because of the still young Ning Yan standing behind him, he gritted his teeth and forced himself to take care of things.

It's just that he was young at that time, and he couldn't scruple about many things. At that time, he only cared about maintaining the situation. Now that he thinks about it, he really forgot about Ning Yan.

——At that time, Ning Yan was so young, and he lost his brother and father all of a sudden, so he must have felt nothing in his heart.

"I didn't have any scruples at the time." Ning Huaijin said distressedly: "I should have settled you down first, and didn't ask you to read more about this."

"I'm not afraid of this." Ning Yan stretched out his hand, took Ning Huaijin's wrist and squeezed gently: "At that time, Father was seriously ill, and I knew that Father would have such a day. I just..."

Ning Yan gave a very light wry smile, and hid the last half of the sentence, not knowing if he didn't want to say it, or he hadn't figured out how to say it.

"It's just that when the father died, I kept vigil for the father every day." Ning Yan said: "In those few days, I was by the side of the father's coffin almost all the time, watching his withered and emaciated body After going down, he turned into an empty shell within a few days—his face was pale, and his body was covered by thick and delicate imperial mourning clothes, like a dead leaf, and I could even smell the gradual decay on his body."

"At that time, the spirit of the father came and went, and there was no idle time. There were clansmen, courtiers, concubines in the harem, and all the servants of the palace were kneeling outside, wearing mourning clothes, and crying loudly." Ning Yan said: "But when I turned my head to look at them at that time, I found that the expressions of fear and worry on their faces were far greater than sorrow, and they were crying with tears streaming down their faces, but they didn't know what they were crying for. What."

"Since then, I have been thinking..." Ning Yan smiled self-deprecatingly: "I was thinking... I will never live a life like the late emperor - when I am alone, walking alone on the road to Huangquan, looking at my hometown When I turned around on the stage, I couldn’t hear a single sincere cry.”

The more Ning Huaijin heard it, the more distressed she became. She wished she could go back more than ten years and take Ning Yan away from Ning Zongyuan's grave.

It's not that Ning Huaijin didn't worry about Ning Yan at that time, it's just that Ning Yan covered it up too well. Although he would cry and shed tears before the death, most of the time he was very quiet.Thanking the clan relatives, receiving courtiers, and doing everything in a well-mannered and courteous manner.

For a child as young as six years old, this is already hard to come by.So much so that Ning Huaijin never thought that when he knelt on the soft cushion in front of the coffin, he thought about so many things.

Ning Huaijin is not surprised at all now why Ning Yan insists on letting Ning Zheng go - he has seen the tragedy of father and son fighting each other, and brothers fighting each other, so he doesn't want to do as badly as Ning Zongyuan did, making himself There is no way out.

What's more, Ning Zheng has come to this point, even if they are let go, Yin Ningyan's temperament will definitely place surveillance personnel next to them, whether it is a shadow guard or someone else, in short, if Ning Zheng dares to make small moves with his heart , will definitely be killed on the spot.

Since it doesn't matter to Ning Yan whether he lets him go or not, it's understandable that Ning Yan doesn't want to bear the crime of murdering his brother.

Ning Huaijin sighed secretly, he originally thought about whether it was worthless, but now after a few words, there is only distress in his heart.

"But other than that, I didn't completely lie to third brother." Ning Yan suddenly smiled lightly: "After all, I have raised Ah Jing now, so I always have to plan more for the future. Although the chance of revealing the truth later is not high. One ten-thousandth, but not afraid of ten thousand, just in case, if he really knows the truth at that time, thinking that I killed his biological parents, although it will not be as ugly as the fourth brother, but it is always easy to create suspicion Come on, it's not worth it."

"Third brother is just like a turtle in a urn to me now, he can be rounded and flattened at any time, so if the risk of killing him is greater than the risk of letting him go, I will never kill him." Ning Yan said: "A momentary dispute between emotions Not advisable, in order to ensure the stability of the country, I always have to think about the overall situation."

Ning Huaijin couldn't help looking sideways at Ning Yan.

Ning Yan looked ahead with firm eyes. Whenever this happened, Ning Huaijin always felt emotional, always felt that time was like running water in a hurry, and it would never return.What I thought was a day when the sun was rising and the moon was setting, now it is just a short moment in the blink of an eye.

It was hard for Ning Huaijin to imagine that under Ning Yan's seemingly reckless actions, she still concealed such a calm and tight mind.

Maybe it's not without clues - Ning Huaijin thinks back now, and only feels that the links are closely connected, but in fact, Ning Yan has already calculated it.It's just that he walked so dangerously that it looked like he was being pressed by Ruan Yin every step of the way and could only struggle.

He seems to be motivated by emotion, every time he thinks about it, every step of the way is like a "temporary idea", but in fact he has already clearly analyzed the pros and cons of it, and he has an impartial scale in his heart, and he has never neglected .

In this personal expedition, Ning Huaijin had seen too many faces of Ning Yan that he had never seen before.And after finding out his mind, Ning Yan also seemed to intend to show his ability to him, and told Ning Huaijin step by step that he was indeed a qualified emperor.

——He did, Ning Huaijin thought.

Ning Yan didn't know how Ning Huaijin felt all kinds of emotions in his heart. After he finished speaking, he didn't feel very happy, instead his heart felt empty.

Ning Yan was silent for a moment, and said: "Actually, when I was young, I thought about it, I don't have to use calculations to control the country like my father, and I don't use calculations to suppress my relatives—but now I look at the third brother, but I find that I am still in charge of the country. Calculate."

Ning Huaijin came back from her own thoughts, just in time to hear such a sentence.

He subconsciously imagined that he would persuade Ning Yan like before, but he felt that everything he said at this time was very pale.

Calculating or not is just a method in itself, there is no distinction between good and evil, let alone right and wrong, it all depends on how it is used.But this matter requires Ning Yan to explain himself. If he digs into the corner by himself, it will be useless for others to say anything.

What's more...Ning Yan was not wrong in the first place.

Although it was said that Ruan Yin and Ning Zheng made the first move, Ning Yan could be said to be planning every step of the way and calculating everything.He even played a big game of chess and got everyone involved.

This kind of mental method would have made people feel frightened, but for some reason, Ning Huaijin was extremely calm in her heart, without any fear, and even felt very relieved.

——Maybe it's because Prince Gong is frank, or maybe it's because he instinctively trusts Ning Yan's feelings more.

For Ning Huaijin, Ning Yan was able to protect himself in this situation surrounded by wolves, and he could still have the strength to fight back, which made him agree more than "kindness" and "benevolence".

Perhaps as other clan members said, Ning Yan was cold in nature, indifferent to his family, and had too many rational calculations in his feelings, but Ning Huaijin always felt that it was not that Ning Yan didn't have pure feelings, but just gave them all to him.

Thinking of this, Ning Huaijin asked lightly: "Does Your Majesty think this is not good?"

"No." Ning Yan unexpectedly denied it. He put his hands behind his back and said with a slight smile in his voice: "I just suddenly understood Father-there are many mediocre people in this world. Peace and stability in the world are the greatest good for them."

"As for affection..." Ning Yan intentionally paused, his eyes turned on Ning Huaijin intentionally, and he said pointedly: "Just keep it in the important place and be self-willed."