bucket list

Chapter 31 If You Are Lucky

The two walked, leaving the villa area where the brick walls in the front yards of each house were illuminated by bright lights, and set foot on the dirt road in the countryside.After dark, the shrubs and branches beside the road were no more lazily stretched than in the afternoon, on the contrary, they were much ferocious and presumptuous, eagerly probing the ankles of the two of them.

The two walked together in silence for a long time, when Zong Chi suddenly said, "Look up."

"Huh?" Jian Changche subconsciously looked up and exclaimed, "Wow."

Unlike the light-polluted clouds that never darken in the city, the night sky in the suburbs is black and clear, without any impurities, like a quiet vacuum in the depths of the universe, and the entire Milky Way with twinkling stars hangs there.

"Can you see the Milky Way in winter?" Jian Changche said in surprise, "It's so beautiful."

"En." Zong Chi responded.

Jian Changche stopped and raised his neck - there were no tall buildings to cover him, no office buildings with lights on, hotel apartments without light curtain walls, no TV towers with flickering signals, only stars shining hundreds of millions of light years away.They burn, collide, intertwine, shatter, and become one.A supernova explodes with a loud noise and becomes a black hole, or scatter into the universe and turn into dust.Gravitational waves smooth out hundreds of millions of light years, the distant blue planet flashes with golden light, and the stars become the gold of the woman's earlobe.

The air is humid and cold, infiltrating the lungs and spleen, with the fragrance of earth.Jian Changche looked away reluctantly, looked to the side, but accidentally fell into another deep night sky.

Zong Chi didn't look at the stars, Zong Chi was looking at him.

His bony and cool fingers caressed his cheeks, and twirled along his neck into the hair behind his head. Zong Chi gently held his face in both hands, as if he was holding a handful of clear spring water, and approached it cautiously. lips.

The stars were so bright that they all fell down.Stars fall into mountain springs and streams, into rivers and seas, and flow away with sorrow and trouble.

Zong Chi backed away a little, put the tip of his nose against his cheek, and laughed: "It smells so strong."

"No more." Jian Changche said.

"Really?"

"Ah."

"You better be."

For no reason, Jian Changche thought of an incident that happened in the hospital last week.A 93-year-old man was sent to the hospital because of a high fever. After examination, he found that his heart and lung organs had failed. He passed away quietly all day and night.Previously, the family members said that the old man hadn’t eaten much for several months, so he drank heavily.It was later discovered that the old man actually had a stomachache that was so painful that he could not eat at all. When the pain was too severe, he used alcohol to relieve it.Just before leaving, he whispered to Jian Changche, "I still want to have a sip of Erguotou."

Jian Changche looked at him worriedly.

At that time, Zong Chi was also beside him, sitting with his legs crossed, and asked lazily, "Master, have you ever drunk Moutai?"

The uncle's eyes lit up: "I drank it once when I was young."

Zong Chi asked, "How do you feel?"

The uncle thought for a long time and said, "I still want to drink Erguotou."

Then he thought about the day before yesterday, an old couple was hospitalized one after the other.The uncle first had hip surgery because of an accidental slip and fracture.Before waiting for a few days, his wife had another heart attack and was sent in.When she was on duty in the middle of the night, Jian Changche heard the old man sitting on the hospital bed crying secretly, and thought it was because he was not feeling well.But the uncle said: "If I get sick, who will take care of her in the future. I have to leave first, she will definitely not be able to bear it."

Jian Changche spent half an hour putting the beds of the two together so that they could hold hands and sleep.In the early hours of the morning, his wife died immediately and could not be rescued.When the person was pushed away, the old man stayed on the bed and couldn't move, wiping his tears and saying, "That's fine, that's fine."

He thought, maybe he and Zongchi did come from completely different places, but whether the trajectories of people and their lives are really like two close stars-because the mass of life is too large, the gravitational force bends time. The collision of each other produces a chemical effect, which makes the impossible become less absurd.Under these common experiences, they get closer and closer, kissing, making love, unconsciously, experiencing the fleetingness of life in fulfilling other people's wishes.

Thinking of this, Jian Changche felt that the things he cared about before were indeed hypocritical. He cleared his throat embarrassingly, and realized later: "Isn't the quarrel a little too loud before? This place It’s so small, I don’t know if it will be used by people with malicious intentions to say something.”

Zong Chi waved his hands indifferently and said, "Don't worry about them."

Jian Changche nodded uncomfortably, and said, "But your father's relatives seem to be quite normal."

Zong Chi suddenly remembered: "Ah, what are you talking about with Zong Qian so happily at night?"

"It's your aunt's business to talk about her." Jian Changche said.

Zong Chi gave a "tsk" sound: "Damn girl, you know how to make an issue out of this!"

After walking a few steps, he suddenly said, "I was wrong."

Jian Changche said in astonishment, "Huh?"

"I shouldn't have told you to leave, I was wrong." Zong Chi walked backwards in front of him, with his hands in his pockets, looking foolish, "You coax me."

"Huh?" Jian Chang was beyond comprehension: "You are wrong and I want to coax you."

"Yes," Zong Chi said seriously, "but you shouldn't really get out, so you are also at fault."

"I'm convinced," Jian Changche said helplessly, "I made a mistake, miss, I'll coax you."

"There's no such thing," Zong Chi said happily, "There's no such thing as 'coaxing you' directly."

"I haven't coaxed it, no way." Jian Changche said dryly.

Zong Chi wasn't very satisfied at first, but when he heard him say "I haven't coaxed him", he became inexplicably happy again.

"You said before that without this chance, there would be no intersection between us at all. I disagree." Zong Chi said, "Even if we meet in other situations, such as in a bar or on the main road, that's fine." I'm sure I want to sleep with you the first time I see you."

Jian Changche knew that he was answering the previous question, but the content was still wrong as always. He sneered and said, "Put it down, you didn't recognize me the [-]th time you came to the hospital, you thought I was a woman, and you called me a vixen."

Zong Chi remembered the oolong they had when they first met, and scratched his face embarrassingly.

Jian Changche hesitated for a long time, but decided to confess: "But...we have met before. No, I can't say that, I have met you before."

"Ah? How long ago did you say?" Zong Chi asked curiously, "Where? When."

"About... six or seven years ago, it was here."

Zong Chi was stunned: "What do you mean?"

"It's your grandparents' house. I came here many years ago." Jian Changche said.

Many years ago, Jian Changche was an ordinary high school student at that time, and he was only a few months away from becoming an adult, but he was already eager to earn money to support himself.He can occasionally pick up some handymen related to physical strength, please be sure to take him if there is work, and one time he got a job delivering food to a banquet.At that time, it was only him and the driver brother who moved a whole Iveco's drinks, vegetables and fruits, and sent them all to the back kitchen.But that's just delivery, and you can't participate in the waiter's part, so the wages are relatively small.Jian Changche was very impressed at that time, because the first time he saw this house and the people inside, it was also the first time he had close contact with the life of rich people.

When Zong Chi was driving yesterday, he didn't realize it at all at first, until he got off the highway and slowly began to feel something was wrong.Until it stopped in front of the iron gate - although the small building in memory was much grander and more beautiful, Jian Changche was sure that he had been to this place.

"And then?" Zong Chi was stunned.

"Then no."

"What, did you see me? You said you saw me." Zong Chi asked anxiously.

"Yeah, I just saw you. It seems that you just came back from some far away place, with a big suitcase and a displeased look on your face." Jian Chang said vaguely.

Zong Chi thought hard for a long time, but he couldn't find a clue from his memory. He could only infer that it happened when he returned to China sometime during college, and he couldn't remember anything else.

"Look, I still utter wild words, I don't remember at all." Jian Changche said, and gestured for a height, "I was thin at the time, probably only this tall."

Zong Chi was stunned for a moment, his clothes suddenly enlightened: "No wonder, I said that the kitchen is so hard to find, how did you find it all at once?"

He stared and said very seriously: "You remember me after you met me once? I know, you must have taken a fancy to me then."

Jian Chang was stunned—why did the topic change there?

"No wonder, I said the first time we met, you saw something wrong with my eyes, and secretly hid my shirt. You must have recognized me when you saw me in the hospital before." Zong Chi pretended to be surprised Said: "I will not be your first love!"

Jian Changche's face turned red when he heard about the shirt - he had long forgotten the existence of that thing, he was not there when he was moving the sofa that day, but he was seen by the other party, don't be too ashamed.But when he heard Zong Chi's confusing reasoning afterwards, he couldn't help laughing - he had never seen such a brazen person!

The two chatted nonsense, and they had already come to a small mound where the leaves were swaying in the night wind. The jagged grass leaves were slightly yellowed, and a few small tough flowers bloomed here and there.From here, you can overlook the whole town, the most conspicuous of which is the hotel where they stayed.

Jian Changche suddenly said, "I'm actually a very pessimistic person."

Zong Chi turned his face to look at him, nodded and said, "I know."

Jian Changche shook his head lightly, still looking at the dimly lit town below his feet: "I am a very pessimistic person. I subconsciously feel that the meeting between people is for the purpose of separation. All of us meet and know each other just for the sake of separation. A process is to prepare us for the next period of life, and this process is not permanent, but will end sooner or later."

"Families, friends, and lovers will be separated when they are together, no matter in what way. Because life is short and fragile, and life is full of accidents and misfortunes." Jian Changche said with a sigh, "If you are lucky, you will be killed Separated, if unfortunately, by time."

Zong Chi had never heard anyone classify "farewell" as "lucky".

"So, if you pour too much emotion into a person, if you admit your feelings, it will be more troublesome and more difficult to say goodbye."

"It will be even more sad." Zong Chi said, pulling his wrist and telling him to sit on the grass with him.

"So each of us is alone. Only by recognizing and adapting to this truth as soon as possible can we better adjust our expectations and avoid disappointment."

Zong Chi felt his heart was about to break.

"That's right, when everyone I've ever known and loved died, I felt like a part of me died with them."

"But before that?" Zong Chi asked again, "How do people prove that they exist, that they once existed? Isn't it just relying on the connection between people, the connection between people and the world? Loneliness You met the lonely me, and other stimuli began to appear in the boring life. The reason why you feel that the disconnection of this connection, that is, the so-called parting of a person symbolizes the disappearance of part of "existence", is it not because you also think that Is 'connection' the essence of being and being alive?"

Jian Changche didn't answer - he hadn't thought about it this way, Zong Chi's words were a bit convoluted, he couldn't digest them all at once, and couldn't tell whether it was right or wrong.But Zong Chi, who is usually mischievous and coquettish, looks very calm and mature at the moment. His voice is calm and powerful, with a wonderful power to comfort people's hearts. For the first time, Jian Changche finally felt that the other party was indeed older and more mature than him. experienced adults.

"What's more, time will not only separate people, but also provide proof." Zong Chi said.

His words were a little cryptic, but Jian Changche understood.

Before we parted, we were all together, this is the present moment of existence.No matter how perfect the oath is, it can't defeat the teasing of fate. Fortunately, they don't believe it.

Jian Changche was still thinking deeply following Zong Chi's words. After a while, he heard Zong Chi whisper: "Before I go home, I want to visit my grandparents' graves."

The word "go home" sounds very ironic.It stands to reason that this is Zong Chi's "home". No matter how bad it is, he lived alone in that high-rise apartment for several years, but Jian Changche's "home" is the only place he wants to go back to.

Jian Changche raised the corner of his mouth: "Tomb-sweeping can be done anytime."

He stood on the hill and looked back at the light belt in the villa area, and blurted out: "You should buy this place."

Zong Chi looked up at him, settled down, and said, "It's not cheap."

Even Zongchi said "it's not cheap", Jian Changche felt that even if he asked about the price, he had no idea.

So he just asked: "Then can you afford it?"

"Affordable." Zong Chi laughed, "Actually, I thought the same way before, but after visiting with you, I became more determined."

Jian Changche usually compares the person who chooses the dishes for one yuan or one yuan and five dollars, but at this moment he has no hesitation: "I think this is your home. There are memories of you and your grandparents when you were young, so you shouldn't just pick them up casually." Dispose of it. It would be a pity to hand it over to those who don't cherish it. If I had the ability at that time, I would definitely not have sold my parents' house."

Zong Chi smiled and said, "Okay."

"Well, let's go."

Jian Changche patted his pants, and walked downhill lightly with his legs open.He hummed softly as he walked.

"I can't save myself, I can't do anything, my heart has no return date."