bad derailment

Chapter 76

This sentence of refusal cut a sharp gap and pierced my unbearable heart every word.

After the numbness, there was a dull pain.

As Gu Mingsheng said, I always find excuses for my "badness" as a matter of course, and take it as the so-called human nature.

Those self-deprecating and self-deprecating, excuses and difficulties are actually just a curtain covering the real side.I covered my ears, closed my eyes and hoped that I could make the mistake right, but Gu Mingsheng let go of his warmth for the first time and told the truth straightforwardly and cruelly.

He saw through myself earlier than me, and those liking, heartbeat, and even guilt never came from the heart.Maybe I really don't know how to love someone, I just subconsciously enjoy the contributions of others, give stingily but still want to grasp everything around me.

This bit of greed is unknowingly magnified and spread.From the moment I met Jiang Qiushi, I was completely on the wrong track.After all, one wrong step and one wrong step, when looking back, there is already a mess everywhere.

The bad factors in the heart of the human heart may be big or small, or they will be suppressed forever, or they will explode at a certain moment.

The biggest mistake I made was to attribute all this to 'humanity' instead of 'mistake'.

"Lin Yao, Lin Yao?"

Ren Han's voice gradually lowered, and I suddenly came back to my senses, and it took a few seconds before I met the gaze cast on him in front of me.

The atmosphere was quiet for a moment, and I pressed my eyebrows and sighed softly: "Sorry, what did you say?"

He stared at me indifferently, "What were you thinking just now?"

I didn't answer, I looked at the office building of Keshan Group through the glass behind Ren Han.The tall buildings stand opposite the cafe, and the good view can clearly see the busy streets on both sides.

There is a constant stream of people coming and going.

In this familiar position, I lowered my head and took a sip of cold coffee, "Nothing."

It has been a whole week since the conversation with Gu Mingsheng, perhaps it should be called a quarrel.

Different from the torment after breaking up with Chen Feng last time, I have learned how to deal with my emotions, and how to cover up in front of outsiders as if nothing had happened.

Xiao Nan would send Gu Mingsheng's itinerary every other day, even though I had told her not to do so, she only returned to normal after being quiet for a few days.

The date of the chat with Gu Mingsheng on the mobile phone stayed a week ago, and his Weibo was still updated as usual, as if everything was hidden under tranquility, and the weather was calm.

Gu Mingsheng remained silent, and I didn't bother. This kind of subtle tension between us appeared and disappeared from time to time.Maybe not a cold war, not a stalemate, just a total calm down, good for both of us.

And since they met at the hotel that day, Ren Han often sent messages.

Most of the content is not painful or itchy, and there are often two sentences without the following.He used to have a grudge against me, and he is not familiar with me now, but he seems to have completely forgotten the attitude of disgust towards me, and even gradually displayed a strange kindness.

The invitation this time was equally abrupt, and he only scribbled that he wanted to talk to me face to face, but he refused to say what it was online.I originally wanted to decline, but thinking of his help during this period of time and news that was most likely related to Chen Feng, I deleted and deleted the content that had already been typed, and finally replaced it with "good".

"How did you come up with the idea to ask me out today?"

I put down the glass, shook off the distracting thoughts in my mind, tried to get the topic back on track, and made fun of the lively atmosphere.

"It's not just to buy me a cup of coffee, is it?"

"No." Ren Han answered quickly, without bothering with my perfunctory last sentence, and finally paused.

"Chen Feng has resigned."

With a flick of my wrist, the coffee in my cup almost spilled on the table.

Ren Han seemed to subconsciously want to help, but just raised his arm but put it down silently.After I covered up my embarrassment, I continued to speak: "It may be on vacation. He is still in the hospital and will not be back to work in a short time."

"...Is alcoholism that serious?"

I suppressed my trance and asked awkwardly: "Hasn't it been a week?"

Ren Han's expression was half-cast, and he shook his head, "There should be some other condition that prevents him from being discharged from the hospital for the time being, and I don't know exactly what's going on."

At noon, the store was filled with conversations between customers and waiters, as well as the sound of the coffee machine running.These movements from the outside world are automatically separated from me by an invisible wall. The coffee in my throat has been completely cold after scraping my teeth.

"I see, thanks."

Ren Han looked at me for a long while, and said in a low voice, 'no need'.When he spoke again, he suddenly changed the subject: "Why did you appear there with Gu Mingsheng last time?"

Before I could withdraw my thoughts, my voice froze for a while, "Why do you ask this?"

"It's nothing, I'm just a little surprised," Ren Han didn't seem to notice anything wrong, and said to himself, "You two are still in touch after graduation."

This exclamation suddenly attracted my mind, as if it contained some kind of hidden emotion, which was hidden behind and unknown.

I said, "What's so surprising about this, don't you keep in touch with He Jin and the others?"

"It's different," Ren Han took a sip of his coffee, as if hesitating whether to say it, "Lin Yao, don't you really know?"

"what do you know?"

"The evaluation of Gu Mingsheng by the people in the class at that time."

I don't know why he asked such a question, but I still subconsciously followed his words to think back.Chi asked, "Excellent?"

Unexpectedly, Ren Han shook his head after a smile, "No, it's fake."

This answer was really unexpected. I was slightly taken aback, but unexpectedly found it reasonable, and couldn't say anything to refute it for a while.

During this period of silence, Ren Han had already continued talking.

"In the beginning, he was really outstanding and very popular with everyone. Not only girls, but even many boys wanted to make friends with him. At that time, the aesthetics were not as absolute as they are now, but everyone has the ability to distinguish between beauty and ugliness. Instinct drives everyone to pursue beautiful things.”

He paused after speaking, as if to organize the language behind.

"However, after getting along for a period of time, this idea was gradually overturned by another impression. We all began to think that Gu Mingsheng was... very fake. He always seemed to hide his thoughts very deeply, He doesn't reject anyone's advances, but he doesn't get too close to anyone. His attitude is always ambiguous, like a smoke bomb deliberately released, so that people don't know what he is thinking in his heart. "

Ren Han's tone gradually became serious, and the content of his words was not unfamiliar to me.The former Gu Mingsheng was far from being as good at acting as he is now, and his disguises were insufficient and easily misunderstood.

"He does have many shortcomings, but they are not as exaggerated as you said."

"I'm not exaggerating, Lin Yao," Ren Han shook his head, "At that time we were all surprised that he would become friends with you, and his normal behavior was only towards you."

It's not that I don't know the past that Ren Han talked about, but those contents are slightly biased with my cognition, and it's unreasonable to fall into my ears.

"Shouldn't it be surprising that someone like me can be friends with him?" I asked self-deprecatingly, not wanting to stay on this topic.

"Why do you think so?" Ren Han seemed to be surprised for a moment, and pursed his lips unnaturally, "Actually, at that time... there were many people who wanted to know you."

This answer really stunned me for a moment, and my first reaction was why did Ren Han say that?This is obviously not the truth in my impression.

He may have seen what I was thinking in my heart, and he showed a helpless and relieved expression, "You devoted yourself to your studies in high school, and it's not surprising that you don't know these things. You make friends, but his familiar character also stumbles on you."

I struggled to remember for a few seconds, "Are you sure you remember correctly? He and I seem to have only chatted a few times when handing out papers."

"Actually, not only handing out papers, but also handing in homework, asking questions, inviting you to an Internet cafe on weekends...you refused many other things without exception," Ren Han couldn't help showing a smile, "He was frustrated for a long time at that time. .”

This sentence blocked me, and I touched my nose unnaturally, "According to you, I was still very popular at that time?"

I have long forgotten what Ren Han said, and the veracity is open to question, but I didn't expect him to nod seriously, and tightened his hands on his knees, "If that incident hadn't happened at that time, in fact, I... ..”

The voice stopped here in a hurry, and the rest seemed difficult to say.I subconsciously wanted to ask, but I suddenly realized what the 'thing' he was referring to, and I was filled with some unknown emotions.

"Feel sorry."

I break the frozen atmosphere.

"I should say this to you," Ren Han took a deep breath, his voice changed due to nervousness, "Lin Yao, actually, I always wanted to apologize to you in person. The words I said were really ugly. When I saw you again, because of some misunderstandings and hurdles in my heart... that made me entangled until now."

I heard his self-blame with mixed feelings in his heart, I lowered my eyes and fell silent for a while, before saying a word.

"It's okay, it's all over."

In fact, it doesn't matter whether this apology comes or not. In the past so many years, the embarrassment after hearing it at that time has long stayed at that time.This incident itself was caused by me, and Ren Han was the one who was innocently involved. If I want to say an apology, I will definitely be indispensable.

"But I've figured it out now, you didn't do anything wrong, on the contrary, you are very brave," Ren Han's gaze rested on me, and he shook deeply, "Lin Yao, actually..."

The phone in his pocket suddenly vibrated, interrupting what Ren Han was about to say.

The tense atmosphere then relaxed, and leisurely dropped to a flat point.

"Feel sorry."

With some evasion, I hastily left these words, lowered my head, took out my phone, and swiped open the screen.

When his eyes touched the unread messages above, blood poured out of his body in an instant, and he couldn't breathe.

A piece of news just came from Chen Feng.

Retracted in the last second.