Autobiography of a paranoid patient

Chapter 9

(45)

My current situation is still not very good.

There is still some residual heat on the body after the fever, the hands and feet are weak, and the mind is dizzy.

I can hardly remember the past few days, as if I am still dreaming, and I can't even tell that this is my home.

But one thing is very accurate, I need to find Mr. Feng.

Without knowing how many doors he had closed, I slowly sat up from the bed, trying to touch the ground with my toes.

After getting used to it for a while, I supported the table top of the bedside table and stood up, moving step by step.

I was almost able to walk normally before I let go.

I pushed open the door lightly, the living room was not lit, but the kitchen was lit.

I stepped out and there was a whiff of tobacco in the air.

(46)

I sat on the sofa and looked at this ashtray next to the coffee table.

I used to be a smoker, but was banned by the doctor, and the amount gradually decreased, and the cigarette butts were thrown directly into the trash can, so I haven’t used this ashtray for a long time.

And now it's so full it's popping out of the hill.

The crushed cigarette butts were piled up chaotically, covered with a layer of ash, and a half-burned cigarette was placed on the edge.

I thought of his smoking modality.

Thinking of his upright body leaning on the sofa, his spine slightly pressed against the cotton cloth, thinking of his bony fingers holding the cigarette, and taking a sip of his upper and lower lips when smoking.

The carpet under my knees is not too hard. I knelt by the coffee table and picked up the half of the cigarette by accident.

Sandwiched between my index and middle fingers, I held up the cigarette butt, suddenly thinking of the nurse's needle.

Accompanied by almost half of my life, sharp and sharp needles.

It seems to be the spark in the darkness.

I shook my hands, recalling countless times when nurses gave me needles.

Once I resisted, hated, and wanted to escape, and then I fell in love with the pain and cold feeling.

They said I would be fine after this shot.

I will become a normal person, no longer need to stay in this boxy room, I can go out to breathe, play a kite in the garden for a while like I did in the beginning, or go for a walk.

This time, I also imagined that as long as the needle goes in, I can get some rewards.

I hope Mr. Feng will not be angry again, although he blames my fault, but don't be angry again.

I watched as the sparks sunk into the skin.

(47)

Is the bowl of porridge in his hand okay?

All I could hear was the sound of the porcelain bowl breaking.

Feng Yue grabbed the cigarette butt from my hand and threw it into the ashtray, I watched the cigarette slip out again.

He held my arm and pulled me up from the ground involuntarily, but I was limp, unable to walk, and fell back again.

I don't know why his expression is so ugly. This time, the sister nurses lied to me again, and I didn't get such a simple reward that I wanted.

Feng Yue grabbed my waist and carried me up.

There were some bloodshot symptoms in my head, but after a few seconds, I fell to the ground and was held tightly in his arms.

There was a sink in front of me, Feng Yue turned on the water, and very cold drops of water splashed on my body.

He held my needled arm and put it under the water column, and I was so strong that I couldn't move it.

So cold.

so cold...

I remembered the rainstorm that night, Feng Yue came out of the corridor, I saw his cold eyes.

Began to be afraid that he said he was going to leave.

I really wanted to turn around and look at him, but my thin back was like a bow that was no longer elastic, and I gave up struggling in the evening.

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The author has something to say:

感谢在2021-11-2619:45:04~2021-11-2710:39:50期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: hem1 bottle;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!