dhibooks Chapter 30 Physical Exam
Chapter 30 Physical Exam
It was another annual routine physical examination. Back then, Attorney Mi insisted on choosing a doctor from the same clinic as me, saying that he wanted to supervise my annual physical examination on time. I secretly canceled and escaped halfway.The physical examination was very troublesome. He only wore a rag-like gown with a tie at the back, sat naked and naked on a chair, and waited for the doctor to come. He was silent from left to right, and finally came to a sentence: "It's nothing serious. son" conclusion.What a waste of time and money.
Uncle is in front of me, he will come out first after the inspection, and wait for me to draw blood together.Seeing that we were all done, the nurse took out ten finger-thick needles, divided them into two and eight, and prepared to draw blood.Seeing the finger-thick needle, I panicked instantly, swallowed, and asked tremblingly, "This, this is all I want to smoke? All alone?"
The black nurse nodded expressionlessly, clutching her little heart and planning to struggle, "Why do I have to smoke so much! It's not fair! He only needs to smoke two tubes, why do I have eight tubes here?"
The aunt continued to have facial paralysis: "I don't know, the doctor asked for it.", and stretched out her hand towards me again.With the cruel help of Lawyer Mi, eight thick needle tubes were filled and labeled one by one. I spread out on the chair and pretended to be dead, complaining to him: "You used to coax me anyway, but now you just hold it down without saying a word. My arm, which side are you in the end? Who are you helping?"
Lawyer Mi ignored me, took out my inspection sheet and looked at it, frowned and said, "Why did I lose weight again? I only weighed 137 pounds, and I was still 142 pounds last year." Eating on time, low blood pressure and low blood sugar... and iron deficiency, zinc deficiency and calcium deficiency. You lack everything except your mind. How can cholesterol be so low? The numbers in this piece are all red. The waist circumference is only 63 cm. What is this? The rhythm must be interrupted..."
I shrugged: "What can I do, we both eat the same thing every day, I eat more than you, blame me for not absorbing it"
Lawyer Mi patted his thigh after reading it and decided: "I will start drinking protein powder tomorrow. This time, I will drink whatever I want, and I have to drink it if I don't like it. The doctor said that you should eat more meat and protein every day, so you will always eat sweets. I don’t eat well, and I lost another 5 pounds this year. I can’t keep going like this.”
I have a special physique, I don’t gain weight by just eating, and I have suffered from early gastric cancer before. For a while, I was as thin as 52 kg, which scared my uncle enough.Since then, Attorney Mi has developed the habit of weighing me every day, and he is worried for a long time if I lose half a catty.Uncle pinched his watch and babbled on for a long time. I was tired of listening to it, so I snatched his look: "You still have the nerve to talk about me, look at yourself, this weight, huh? 206 pounds? Last year it was less than 200 pounds, and I gained weight in a year So much older."
Attorney Mi was afraid that others would say that he was fat, so he immediately rushed to me: "I am a muscle-builder, and muscle is of higher quality than fat!"
He stretched out his hand and pinched the flesh on his belly: "Tsk tsk, what is this? Muscles look like this? The muscles are soft? Who ate two bowls of rice with sauerkraut and beef last night? Did you say you weren't fat?"
He immediately lowered his head to check his abdomen, felt around the hem of his trousers, and quibbled softly while touching: "I have edema, your cooking is too salty...I am swollen..."
Attorney Mi, who was "swollen", lost the mood to care about me for a moment. He stood up and started to look at me in the mirror.
In the morning, I couldn’t eat breakfast for the physical examination. I was so hungry that I was dizzy. After the blood was drawn, my uncle rummaged out of his pocket and sneaked in some chocolate. He quickly peeled one and stuffed it in my mouth.
I bit the chocolate and asked: What else should we do?With such a large and long list of watches, it is really troublesome to get married.
Uncle Xiaogong raised: We are not officially married yet, you just proposed to me, and I have the right to go back on my word at any time, so you have to be nice to me, or I will abandon you!
I quickly cooperated: yes, yes, my dear, you must never abandon the little one.How can I live without you.
Mi Gongju is satisfied.
Gay men in New York State do not need a pre-marital physical examination to get married, but Lawyer Mi insisted that we both do it once, saying that we have to experience everything before and after marriage. This is a complete experience...However, the pre-marital physical examination for gay men... Need to check prostate...
This frightened Attorney Mi. The painful experience of hemorrhoids left him with indelible sequelae. At that time, he was afraid of going to the tuba, let alone having sex.After recovering from the disease, I still dare not eat solid food for several months, which made me suffer along with it. Every day, clear soup and porridge are not allowed to be eaten with pickles!
Diet is fading out, there is no love bird on the bed, the uncle is unwilling to have sex, and blames the cause of hemorrhoids on gay men XO, and justifiably says, "I love you so much, I don't want you to suffer, so we all Don't do it" forcibly terminated the sex life completely.During this period of time, we used our hands, our backs, our thighs, and all kinds of magical and unbelievable ways to vent, but we didn't really feel good about it.
After eating radish and cabbage for several months, I couldn't take it anymore, so I got angry at home and threatened him: If you get mad again, I will move out!Lawyer Mi was so frightened that he immediately panicked. With a mournful face, he struggled for a long time, choked up and said, "Hemorrhoids really hurt, QAQ"
"..."
I took him to persuade him again, and finally got him to overcome his psychological barrier and was willing to do it. Lawyer Mi refused to be there, insisting that sex is the best thing, so I agreed.Halfway through, I couldn't help but let out a small cry. Uncle stopped instantly, too frightened to move, and asked nervously, "Asher, is it hurting? Is there something uncomfortable? I'd better come out, don't do it. "
"Don't..." just said a word, the mother has already come out...
The past is unbearable, and the hurdle of Lawyer Mi has not passed to this day.
Immediately check the prostate, the big man was trembling with fear, I patted his shoulder and smoothed his hair, "Don't be afraid, just pretend it's foreplay, besides, isn't it just two fingers?"
Mi Gongju looked terrified and yelled at me: "You haven't seen that doctor, his fingers are so thick, like German sausages, and not like you, his two fingers are four on your head."
"...Oh, I've played at all ages before, and you weren't like this back then."
"Standing and talking doesn't hurt your back, and you haven't suffered from hemorrhoids, so it's easy to talk"
I muttered in a low voice, "Who told you to go to the toilet and play with your phone all the time...whose hemorrhoids are to blame?"
Mi Gongju's eyes widened, and his face was [I can't believe you said such a thing, how dare you say such a thing, you dare to say such a thing, you can try it again? ] with an angry expression, his cheeks puffed up and he seemed about to get angry again.
I'll accept it when it's better, I dare not say it anymore, and continue to comfort me: "Don't worry, your hemorrhoids are healed, and you won't be hurting anymore. It just so happens that this test can be used to see if there is any recurrence"
Uncle wanted to say something, but before he opened his mouth, the doctor came out and called his name.Mi Jin Mao followed the doctor into the room trembling all over. I waited outside for a minute, and as expected, I heard his wailing. Ten minutes later, Lawyer Mi limped out awkwardly with his legs on one side.
The doctor who followed was still very puzzled: "Aren't you a couple? I thought gay would be more relaxed and less resistant. Why is your partner more reactive than straight men?" It's me next time, I I don't feel disgusted by this, and I will go in very comfortable.But the doctor stretched out his hand to signal me to wait, and went into the room again. When he came out, he was holding a gay pornographic magazine. On the cover was a muscular man with bulging veins and blood vessels. Spread your legs wide for a sexy pose.
He handed me the magazine and pointed to the empty room next to him: "Would you like to go inside and get ready?"
"..."
Prepare your uncle! ! ! !What is there to prepare for? ! !Don't you want to masturbate and show me porn magazines?
He waved his hand and refused, and directly asked to go in for an examination. The doctor didn't give up, and confirmed again and again: "Are you sure? If you don't look at it now, don't yell like him for a long time."
"I'm sure, I won't bark, let's hurry up, get it done early"
After following the doctor in, I stayed for less than 5 minutes in total, bent down on the ground with ease, coughed, entered and exited, and it was done.After all the examinations, we went to the front desk to pay together. The nurse brought a can of ointment and pushed it over: "This is the ointment that Dr. Clint asked to add to you separately. You can use it yourself when you need it."
I took it over and looked, shit, male prostate lubricant.He glared fiercely at Lawyer Mi next to him, who had an innocent expression on his face.
I have been with my uncle for seven years, and I have learned a lot of French from him. In the past few years, I have gone to France several times a year, and now I have no problem with basic French conversations.Uncle's Chinese is still in its infancy, and he can only say hello, thank you, and some dish names.
The two discussed going back to each house before the wedding, and I also planned to take him back to show my grandparents. After all, I have met my uncle's family, and he has only seen three members of my family. It is a bit unfair no matter how you think about it.After thinking it over and over again, I told Lawyer Mi about this plan, but he was so happy that he jumped up and down at home.
"Asher, you want to take me back to China? Is it the real China? A 15-hour flight from New York to China?"
I was ashamed: "This is what I said, the whole world is one China, where else can I take you?"
He was excited for a long time, and when the energy passed, he began to worry again. He dragged me and asked, "Isn't your China very traditional? Is it suitable for me to go?"
"What if your family doesn't like me?"
"I can't even speak Chinese..."
This sentence hits the point. I have always wanted my uncle to learn Chinese, but he has been refusing to learn it all the time. Now I have found an excuse.Decided to teach him Chinese from now on, no matter what, he must be able to speak a sentence or two.I bought a set of elementary Chinese introductory textbooks online, and let my uncle learn to play by himself.A set of cards was given in the textbook, and Lawyer Mi would lie on the sofa every night after dinner and read them.
He took out a card with a cat drawn on it, and uncle read it in pinyin, mao, cat.
Take out another one, point an arrow to the cat, write a word, cat hair, and read it: maomao Mao Mao took out another one, drew a hat, and continued to read: maozi hat...
I took out another one, drew a piece of clothing, and continued to read: maoyi sweater...
Finally, he broke down: "Don't these all have the same pronunciation, and they all refer to different words and different meanings?"
I couldn't bear to nod my head, and my uncle immediately yelled: ...Asher, I regret it, I don't want to learn Chinese anymore.It’s pretty good for us to communicate only in English now, alas, we have to speak English in America...
Glancing at my watch, it has only been 1 minutes since I picked up the card, and I sighed: "At least learn my name before you give up, can you still pronounce my name?"
He took out the small note with his name written on it and held it in for a long time, but he couldn't make a correct sound. I: ... none of the three words were pronounced correctly, and you are good enough.
Lawyer Mi was aggrieved, and continued to read for a long time while hugging the cartoon picture with a mournful face. After a while, he sprawled on the sofa and gave up the treatment. "Why is Chinese so difficult? I don't want to learn it anymore."
"Okay, don't learn if you don't learn, that is, you can't speak a word of Chinese when I go back to China to meet my parents in a few months. What's the matter?" I got up again, and began to read Pinyin again in bitterness, "Ah, oh, E..."
"Goose, that's not an E, it's a goose"
"...Ah, oh, goose, i..."
"One, that is one, not i"
Mi Jin Mao collapsed again, flipped the table and went crazy, "...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't learn anymore!"
In order to stimulate his motivation to learn Chinese, he cruelly reduced the food at home to the minimum and stopped cooking.Uncle gave up after eating takeaway for two days. He picked up the small cards and started learning again. He took a quiz every two days, answered half of the ten questions correctly, and made braised pork the next day.Adhering to the policy of studying hard and eating meat, Lawyer Mi's Chinese has improved by leaps and bounds. Within a month, he has memorized all the names of dozens, nearly a hundred... dishes in China.
Don't expect him to learn by himself, I personally supervise and take the exam with small cards every day.
"Uncle, this one is very simple. It's my mother's mother. What's her name?"
Lawyer Mi thought carefully and spit out two words, "neinei"
"...No, that's father's mother. What's the name of mother's mother?"
Lawyer Mi frowned and thought for a while, "...Aww?"
"... almost, very close... you are missing a letter in front of you"
"Meow meow"
"...It's not M, it's L, do you remember how to pronounce it?"
"It's over"
The pronunciation of foreigners learning Chinese is so simple, it’s so funny, it’s weird, and I couldn’t help it after holding my stomach for a long time, laughing on the ground with my belly in my arms, Mr. Mi flushed with anger, and said angrily: "I don’t want to learn! I don’t want to learn anymore. Already! You will laugh at me, even if you don’t teach me well!”
I covered my mouth and waved: "I don't laugh anymore, I don't laugh anymore, let's continue... this, do you know me?"
Uncle looked at the picture, and spit out two words for a long time: "meat meat"
I fainted from laughter again.
After 3 months of hard training, my uncle's Chinese level has risen from a 2-year-old child to a 5-year-old preschooler. At least he has fully understood the Chinese pinyin. The only shortcoming is that now he can read characters like a child. Number, according to his words, this is already a qualitative leap, rocket-like progress.
Before he went to China, Lawyer Mi's Chinese was still not advanced to the level of elementary school students, and he paid a very painful price for this on the subsequent trip back to China.